[MUSIC PLAYING] NARRATOR: The nation's favorite celebrities-- Ooh!

Did you want to touch base?

NARRATOR: --paired up with an expert-- - Boo!

- What?

[LAUGHS] NARRATOR: --and a classic car.

No hands!

NARRATOR: Their mission, to scour Britain for antiques.

My office, now!

NARRATOR: The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction.

But it's no easy ride.

[ENGINE GRINDS] - Oh!

NARRATOR: Who will find a little hidden gem?

[HORN] Love that.

NARRATOR: Who will take the biggest risk?

This could end in disaster.

NARRATOR: Will anybody follow expert advice?

But I love this.

Why would you buy something you're not going to use?

NARRATOR: There will be worthy winners and valiant losers.

No, I don't want to shake hands.

NARRATOR: Put your pedal to the metal.

Let me get out of first gear.

NARRATOR: This is the "Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!"

Yeah.

On our trip today, in a 1967 Triumph Herald, are two TV legends.

BRIAN CONLEY: I'm doing my best here, love.

We're doing a good job.

We're going to sink.

We're going to sink.

(SINGING) Good morning, Britain.

NARRATOR: Funny man Brian Conley is behind the wheel.

And let's hope he can find an antique easier than he finds the gears.

[GEARS GRIND] BRIAN CONLEY: Well, uh-- ooh, hello.

Hold on.

Oh, my goodness.

All right, all right, it's my first day.

You remember the clutch.

NARRATOR: Riding shotgun is his old friend, the original morning sofa smoothie, Nick Owen.

I'm really glad to be driving in a Triumph Herald.

You're not driving, though.

I'm driving.

I've driven then.

Sorry.

I'm easily confused these days.

NARRATOR: Not only are these two pals, but at one time, Nick was even Brian's straight man.

You know, we were like Morecambe and Wise, let's be honest.

Without the humor.

Yes.

NARRATOR: Nick was Britain's first breakfast TV star throughout the 1980s and '90s.

And he's now the face of BBC'S news in the Midlands.

Brian Conley has been a star of stage and screen for over 40 years.

He's had his own Saturday night show twice, hosted game shows.

He's also been Buttons in 16-- yes, 16-- different pantos.

Let's hope it's not buttons he makes today.

I mean, I hope I've got a good expert.

That is key for us, isn't it?

And I hope mine is more competitive than yours.

And I hope mine is better looking than yours.

Yeah.

I wonder which one of these two Brian will be hoping for then-- buppy, stylish, and super smart gemologist Kate Bliss or middle-aged curmudgeon auctioneer Philip Serrell It's a tough one.

They're in a 1971 MGB GT, a racy little number for a racy couple.

Do you know what?

Go on.

I'm going to come right out with it, I'm afraid.

Go on, then.

Go on, go on, go on.

You mind if I nab Brian?

I just adore his voice!

He's got the most incredible baritone.

(DEEP VOICE) Deep baritone.

Watch out, Brian.

NARRATOR: (DEEP VOICE) Some of us, of course, are just blessed with a golden voice, I suppose.

Let's see where our pairs are going with their 400 pounds today.

Starting off in Albrighton, in the beautiful county of Shropshire, they will be meandering their way around the West Midlands to Stourbridge before heading nearly 150 miles southeast to auction in Stansted Mountfitchet.

Say that quickly.

Find that car.

- Yeah, I know.

- Hey!

Wow!

- Nick, how are you?

- Hello!

- Hello.

How are you?

- Hi!

Welcome!

I'm pleased you opened the door, because it doesn't work.

Now, who's going to work with who, then?

I've got a confession.

Do you?

Because I've got a little bit of a weak knee job when I hear Brian's voice.

Oh, isn't that lovely?

Because he's got this incredible baritone!

So on that basis, I'm going to work with Nick.

Let's get this road trip going.

Yeah, OK. NARRATOR: First out of the blocks are Kate and Brian.

And it's a chance for her to get to know the man behind the voice.

KATE BLISS: How did you start in-- I'm dyslexic.

And I very much-- in my time at school, you know, you were just put in the remedial class and seen as someone who couldn't keep up and was thick.

So to diffuse that, I would make people laugh.

And that's how the comedy came about.

I always say I was born to sing, and everything else, I learned.

Famously, I played Al Jolson for three years.

We went to Canada with that.

And the show won an Olivier Award, which I'm very proud of.

Wow.

So what do you think you might be interested in?

Uh, well, I do like me show business.

But I'm happy to be guided by yourself.

At the end of the day, it's what is in the shop.

At the end of the, Kate, we've got to beat them.

We have to beat them.

We've got to pummel them into the ground, love.

NARRATOR: Well, the first stop on Brian and Kate's mission is the Victorian spa town of Church Stretton.

Yeah, I like the look of that.

NARRATOR: They're starting their shopping at Stretton Antiques Market, which looks stuffed.

Oh, I like these.

I like these curtains.

I just think they make a lovely dress or pair of glasses.

Come on.

Oh, all right.

NARRATOR: I think you need glasses, Brian.

[LAUGHS] Ah, yes, that's better.

Now, I like that.

- What have you seen?

- Oh, I like that.

Look.

Oh, this is entertainment.

Oh, I really like that.

Of course I do.

NARRATOR: A bit of showbiz, just what Brian wanted.

- It's Sinatra.

- Do you think?

No, it's not.

I don't know.

I think it's a very bad Sinatra.

I love it.

I really do.

You know how when you got to get something you love?

That's right up your street, isn't it?

Do you know what?

I want to buy it.

NARRATOR: Ol' blue eyes here is only 11 pounds 25 P. He's no antique, but Brian doesn't mind.

And I'd say at auction, I'll buy it.

NARRATOR: Yeah, but will anyone else?

Time to talk to shop owner Tom, when he's finished his cuppa, that is.

KATE BLISS: You know, I'd start really low.

BRIAN CONLEY: Go on, then.

KATE BLISS: Fiver?

BRIAN CONLEY: Five?

KATE BLISS: Yeah!

OK, so I'm going to go with that low?

Well, then you could always come up.

I don't know.

But if you go in, you can't come down.

- All right, yeah.

- Yeah?

All right.

I do feel a bit awkward about it.

I'll warm it up.

Oh, you'll be fine.

OK, OK. NARRATOR: Top tip, Kate.

Fingers crossed Brian can follow them through.

Tom, we would like to show you this.

Quite honestly, bit of tact.

If I said to you that I'm happy to come in-- I can't even say it, Kate.

You want me to come in on such-- I want to come in at about nine pounds.

NARRATOR: That's not the greatest start.

9 pounds, and I'll sing to you.

(SINGING) Fly me to the moon.

All right-- (SINGING) Let me play among the stars.

Well, I'm trying to influence.

(SINGING) Let me know what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars.

Tom?

NARRATOR: I think Tom would rather he was on Mars.

I suppose I'll have to after all that.

Oh!

A personal appearance of-- You lovely man!

--lovely Brian Conley.

And what a honor.

And, Kate, too, I would have probably done it for 8, but he's offered me 9.

Now the deal's done.

Oh!

And I sang too!

[INAUDIBLE] And now I've got a free song as well.

NARRATOR: A deal's a deal.

Brian got Tom down from 11 pounds and 25 pence to 9 pounds.

And what's more?

He did it his way, which is to say not very well.

Stick to your day job.

I know.

NARRATOR: While those two keep browsing, Nick and Phil are also getting to know one another.

This is your home patch, Nick, isn't it?

Well, I know it very well because I was lucky enough to come to school in Shropshire as a young lad, many moons ago.

So you're a Salopian?

Yeah, I am a Salopian.

My father is a genuine Shropshire lad.

So I do know the county quite well.

And it's always wonderful to come back.

Are you in any way an antique aficionado?

I'm afraid I am clueless about antiques.

Well, at least-- Fascinated.

You know, I love hearing the history of things.

And I really enjoy watching programs about antiques on television because the history associated with them is absolutely fascinating.

I'll do my best when we come to bargaining, but it's a bit of a new area for me.

I'm pretty clueless.

I'm not very streetwise, I'm afraid.

Well, you're in good company, mate.

I tell you.

Between us, we'll make a hash of it together, won't we?

Well, we'll buy stuff we like that.

That's the thing.

NARRATOR: Nick and Phil's first destination is Much Wenlock.

These two sports fans might be intrigued to know that the 19th century Wenlock Olympian games were a precursor to the modern Olympics.

I wonder if they will find any gold in their first shop memories.

Shall I go in?

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, good idea.

Wow!

Blimey, this is sorted.

Not much stuff in here, is there?

NARRATOR: You couldn't swing a cat in here.

Oh, hello.

Sorry, puss.

Just a figure of speech.

Looking after the cat and the shop is dealer Mary.

Hi, Mary.

Something has just taken my eye.

That jug.

- Where?

- Can you see that?

- What, this one?

Yeah.

Is that for wine or something?

I mean, it could be a Claro jug, or a wine jug, or it could be for lemonade.

This is hobnail cut because it's like hobnails.

Yeah.

This is hallmark silver.

You've got the little mark.

Oh, so it is silver, then?

Yeah.

If you want to nitpick, there's a dink there, but I think that really is nitpicking.

That's character.

Yeah, I've got some character, I'll tell you.

Yeah.

- I like that a lot.

- [INAUDIBLE].

Do you?

- Yeah, I do.

Yeah.

NARRATOR: Yeah, it rubs up nice too.

The ticket price for this lovely Victorian lemonade jug is 159 pounds.

Now, can Nick do any better with the haggling than Brian?

Please don't sing, Nick!

You're leaving me to do this, are you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I can trust you.

Yeah, well, I am the hard-nosed businessman.

- I'm listening.

- Oh, right, OK.

I'll be kind.

No, I mean, I would have to come in at about 60 pounds for that.

NARRATOR: Blimey.

60 is a little bit low for me.

Um, very best would be about 80.

I could do you 80.

If you say 80, I say 60, why don't we say 70?

75?

70.

(WHISPERING) He's good.

He really is very good at this.

Oh, Mary.

I've done a deal.

Hey, I'm excited, Mary.

Thank you.

NARRATOR: It's done.

Nearly 90 pounds off.

I think Phil's landed on his feet with this one.

PHILIP SERRELL: So we've been here five minutes, and you bought our first lot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, all I can say is, look at Mr. Conley.

NARRATOR: Back in Church Stretton, Brian and Kate are still shopping.

Hmm.

Hey Brian, what do you think of this?

I think it's rubbish.

Look at it.

It's disgusting.

Not that!

And it's plastic.

It's not even real.

Right.

Let's get rid of those.

What do you think of that?

Oh, right, this?

Yeah.

I don't know.

What do you think of it?

Well, you know, if you-- do you know what the little trick is?

The drawers are often a giveaway because it may have been aged on the outside if it's staining and distressing, but they don't bother to do that on the inside.

And you can see-- Oh, god, yeah.

--you know, if there's any new timber there, that's where it's going to be.

Which, of course, there is on this.

Yeah, so I think it's probably 20th century.

Kate, you are so clever.

How much is it?

Well, price there is 95.

Now, I've seen these at auction make 60 pounds.

I've seen them make 160 pounds.

It might be worth having a go, but I think I'd want quite a bit of leeway on 95.

Well, I'll let you do the bargaining because I'm rubbish at that.

I really am.

I think there's room for improvement.

I know.

I just can't-- I can't do it.

NARRATOR: That's one to think about just now.

BRIAN CONLEY: Oh, I like that.

Do you know?

I like the price as well.

Four pounds.

I bet you're going to knock them down to one or something.

It's art deco-- What is that?

--magnifying mirror.

OK, it's a small mirror.

See, I thought it was a magnifying glass.

Would you use it for, then?

Just, uh-- Yeah, do your lippy.

Have a look.

I want to look all professional.

So hold the glass, and then bring the object up to it.

Oh, right.

Oh, I nearly had my eye out there.

Oh, yeah, I can just see-- - Got it?

- Yeah.

Yeah?

And you can see a little bit of cracking on there.

Yes, you're right.

Now, to me, that's nice because that shows it's a period piece.

Possibly '50s rather than '30s, but it's very much in that art deco style.

I'm sure we'll make a profit on that.

So four pounds.

You're going to knock them down on four pounds?

You know, for four pounds, I don't think I'd dare.

Even I-- Good, good.

Because I think-- oh, I don't think I can.

NARRATOR: It's OK, Tom.

No need to get up.

So the art deco mirror is a possible, but what about that wash stand?

KATE BLISS: You've got the price at 95.

OK. We'd really like a good price, if we can.

Go on, chum.

Go on, mate.

We'll be your best friend.

Go on.

I mean, obviously, there's got to be something in it for you, Tom.

I'll give you an autograph, I'll give you an autograph.

No, you're all right, Brian.

Um.

I mean, if I said 65.

No, I can't.

No?

The best-- the very best I'll do it for is 80 pounds.

That's a little bit more than I should do, but I'll do it for 80 pounds.

For 80 pounds for the wash stand?

Yeah, we have seen something else, actually, Tom.

All right.

I have, indeed.

It's this.

I wondered if we-- You know what we're going to say, Tom.

Of course I do.

Can we have both of them for 80 pounds?

I will throw it in with 80 pounds, yes.

Oh, bless you, mate.

You haven't got to sing to me.

That's nice, ain't it?

NARRATOR: No singing?

What would Frank say?

So that's three items bought for a total of 89 pounds.

- Thank you, Tom!

- OK.

Thank you, Tom.

God bless you.

Bye bye.

We better win.

NARRATOR: Back in Much Wenlock, for Nick and Phil, there's an embarrassment of riches.

I've never see so many hairbrushes in my life.

Mind you, I don't think I'd need quite so many myself, will I, really?

Because not too much going on up here.

And this, you see, this is a wonderful example of ancient 19th century bubble wrap.

NARRATOR: Hey, enough of the jokes.

Mary is not amused.

Mary, is there only thing you can perhaps point us in the direction of?

Um, did you notice the chargers, the Japanese chargers?

They're Imari, aren't they?

Yes.

So these would have been made, what, 1870, 1880?

Imari is the name for Japanese style of porcelain.

And chargers are the big plates that are put under your main plates at banquets and in posh restaurants.

What I love about them is that there and that three.

No chewing gum.

Well, yeah, but almost.

That's what it stood on in the kiln when it was fired.

So that's what supported it.

And then it would have just been snapped off when it came out of the kiln.

And these are all down to money, really.

These are 110 pounds each?

Oh, my heavens.

It's the pair, is it?

It's each, actually.

PHILIP SERRELL: I don't want to get anywhere near those.

NICK OWEN: Mm.

Actually, I'll do 90 for the two.

I've still got the others.

Started to mean business now, aren't we?

We paid 70 pounds for the lemonade thingy jig, haven't we?

Yes.

So just to make the sums really easy, can we give you 70 quid for the two of these?

And then we'll get out your life and never ever darken your door ever again.

Will we, Nick?

No, absolutely just.

And it just makes the sums so-- I can go with that.

Yes?

70 for the two?

It's a deal.

Should we do it?

NARRATOR: Shake his hand, quick, and kiss it.

150 pounds off the two chargers.

Oh, dear.

Great business again, chaps.

These two have really hit the ground running.

So with the boys' purchases packed up, it's time to see what Kate and Brian are up to.

They're traveling 40 miles to Shrewsbury, the county town of Shropshire, and the birthplace of Charles Darwin, to visit a place that might just interest Brian.

KATE BLISS: We're going to take out an hour or two and we're going to go to the Shropshire Regimental Museum.

Oh, that's good!

I do like my military.

I don't even know, but I do do some charity work for something called Hire a Hero.

Right.

Which has all to do with military where they rehabilitate guys from the Navy, from the Air Force, from the Army.

Yeah, it's going to be interesting.

Oh, I'm pleased we're doing that.

That's good.

NARRATOR: The museum is in a majestic Shrewsbury castle.

And it pays tribute to a regiment that had been involved in many key moments of history, but there are three that really stand out.

Curator Christine Bernath is here to tell them more.

Hello.

Hello.

Lovely to meet you.

NARRATOR: The regiment can trace its origins back to Shropshire in 1755.

But in 1815, its 53rd Regiment were at the center of global affairs when they were sent to the remote South Atlantic island of St. Helena to guard the most prized prisoner in the world, the defeated French emperor, Napoleon Bonaparte.

CHRISTINE BERNATH: 53rd were essentially there to guard him, but also just keep him comfortable.

One of the officers, Captain Poppleton, was his aide at the camp.

And it was his task, really, to look after Napoleon to make sure he was happy.

NARRATOR: The two built up a close relationship.

And there's a token of their friendship on display here, a lock of Napoleon's hair.

Is it quite unusual to give a lock of hair?

Not really in the case of Napoleon.

He thought himself a bit of a celebrity.

And he really quite liked giving away locks of hair to people.

This was a signature of sorts.

BRIAN CONLEY: Oh, right.

CHRISTINE BERNATH: It was a sentimental piece.

And in his mind, I mean, what better way to express gratitude than giving them such personal items to take home.

BRIAN CONLEY: Can I touch it?

If you just wouldn't mind popping on some cotton gloves.

I played Al Jolson.

Of course, he famously wore a [INAUDIBLE].. Folks, you ain't heard nothing yet.

Thank you very much.

So this is it.

This is Napoleon's DNA.

One day, I will cut a bit of it off and make another Napoleon.

Isn't that amazing?

NARRATOR: It wasn't just Captain Poppleton that Napoleon respected, but the whole 53rd Shropshire Regiment, who he nicknamed the Red Regiment after their uniforms.

There is an instance, when he fell out with the governor of St. Helena and said that he would go and dine with the officers of his Red Regiment instead because they knew how to treat an old soldier hospitably.

All right, so there was a lot of respect?

There was a lot of respect.

I think they were actually quite fond of each other.

NARRATOR: Napoleon lived out the rest of his life on St. Helena and died there in 1821.

But around the same time, another part of the Shropshire regiment, the 85th, were earning their place in the history books as they moved across the Atlantic to fight the Americans.

And their actions there may have led to the name of one of the world's most famous buildings.

What we have here is one of the colors that was captured at the Battle of Bladensburg in 1814, as part of the War of 1812 against North America.

NARRATOR: This regimental standard was captured from the Americans as the 85th Shropshire occupied the new American capital.

So the army moved in towards Washington and supposedly to negotiate a truce.

However, they were shot at from one of the residential buildings.

And some say, in reaction to this, they decided to torch all the government buildings, including the president's house.

So the president's house, the White House?

That's right.

There is a legend that says that it was painted white because they wanted to hide the charred remains of the brickwork.

NARRATOR: It's not clear if this is true, but what we do know is that the Shropshire Regiment certainly left their mark on the American capital.

Wow.

So, I mean, in terms of history, that is an incredible event to happen, isn't it, for the White has to be taken and possibly unprecedented.

That's right.

And it is also the only time a union flag has been flown from the top of the White House as well.

NARRATOR: The 1812 war would ultimately end in stalemate.

But it was the closing stages of the second World War, over 120 years later, that would put the Shropshire Regiment at the center of historic events once again.

And it's this baton signifying the highest rank in Nazi Germany that is the proof.

KATE BLISS: So who did this belong to?

CHRISTINE BERNATH: This particular baton belonged to Grand Admiral Karl Donitz, who was the commander-in-chief of the German Navy.

NARRATOR: After Hitler's suicide in 1945, surrender wasn't immediate.

And Hitler's wills specified that Admiral Donitz became fuhrer.

Donitz fought on for 23 days before he surrendered near the Danish border to a brigade of the British army, which included the 4th Battalion of the Shropshire Regiment.

The Nazis had finally been defeated.

And Donitz was forced to hand over the symbolic baton.

KATE BLISS: So this really symbolized the end of the Third Reich, then.

BRIAN CONLEY: It has got some weight to it, hasn't it?

So what happened to Donitz after his capture?

He was tried for war crimes and eventually sent to prison.

BRIAN CONLEY: That is amazing.

KATE BLISS: And it's fascinating to learn that the Shropshire Regiment was there at such key moments in history.

Thank you so much, Christine.

Yeah, it's been a real pleasure.

You're very, very clever.

Thank you both.

Thank you.

NARRATOR: Nick and Phil have come 13 miles from Much Wenlock and are also now in Shrewsbury.

They've taken a trip down Memory Lane, literally.

Here it is.

Look.

Right, Memory Lane.

Let's go.

Should we take a trip down Memory Lane?

NARRATOR: Hey, I've done that gag, Phil.

But will there be any unforgettable collectibles?

Helping out is Holly.

Hi, Holly.

NICK OWEN: OK, where do you want to start?

I suppose you want to start at the beginning?

Well, I like that little fire mark up there.

Look.

I think it's an old one.

Oh, what, with the animals on, the lions or something.

In the 17th and 18th century, you would have that nailed to your wall of your house.

So that if your timber property in Shrewsbury, or even Shrewsbury sets on fire, the fire engine would come.

And if you subscribe to their insurance company, which they knew by the fire mark on the wall, they would then put your fire out.

But if you didn't subscribe-- You're joking.

No, no, no, no, no.

NARRATOR: We know this fire mark was on a local property, as the three lepers on it are from the Shrewsbury Coat of Arms.

Do you like that?

I do, actually.

It's-- well, there's a story behind it, isn't there?

Yeah, I quite like that.

What?

95,000 pounds.

Oh, 95 pounds.

Sorry.

I'm-- - 95 pounds!

- I'm not very good.

- I thought it was-- - Are you OK?

--angina.

Yeah.

You've got to look after the old folk.

Now, do you want to sit down?

No.

First thing we look at, and we like it.

Well, we'll think about it, shall we?

Yeah, let's have a wander.

Let's have a little wander.

NARRATOR: So the fire mark is one for the back burner.

Who writes this stuff?

I think it's an early coffee grinder.

How on Earth do you know that?

And it says early coffee grinder, which means you could only use it up till about 8:30 in the morning.

Um, but-- NARRATOR: Oh, Nick, your jokes are older than some of the antiques in here.

Did I ever tell you that my grandfather had a fantastic collection of clocks and watches?

And when he died, it took absolute ages to wind up his estate.

But-- This is like [INAUDIBLE],, isn't it?

Yeah.

Yeah, OK, fine.

NARRATOR: It's time for these two to make a purchase.

Have you seen that?

It's like a ladle or something.

Let's have a look, then.

I'm a bit nervous about picking it up.

Well spotted.

You go.

What do you think?

I like that.

That's a real bit of yesterday's antique, that is.

Yeah, it's quite nice, isn't it?

The ladle here says it's a 1826 Glaswegian toddy ladle.

NARRATOR: Toddy is a form of punch, and you warm up when you drink it.

But what's nice, that is whale bone.

NARRATOR: Although the handle is made of protected whale bone, or baleen, thanks to its age, it's legal to be sold as an antique.

I mean, people don't make that with whale bones.

Fins ain't what they used to be.

No, no no, no, no.

[SIGHS] NARRATOR: He's on fire today.

Well, let's have a chat.

Shall we go over here?

Yeah, let's go and have a chat with Holly.

NARRATOR: The ticket price for this fetching Georgian toddy ladle is 65 pounds.

And the fire mark is 95.

Do you want to play bad cop, good cop?

Or should we both be the bad cop?

I think we both need to be the bad cop.

OK. What's the very best you can do, Holly?

100 pounds for the two would be the very best.

Would 90 pounds buy the two?

No, unfortunately not.

100 pounds would definitely be the best for those two.

I'm sorry.

NICK OWEN: You see, for 95, I'll definitely snatch your hand off.

Oh, go on, then.

Yes!

Holly, we love you!

NARRATOR: Someone high-five Nick, quick.

You're an angel.

NARRATOR: No wonder they're celebrating.

That's the fire mark for 50 pounds, and the toddy ladle for 45.

A total saving of 60 pounds.

Not bad at all.

Cheers.

I think we've done well.

Thank you.

Bye!

- Bye!

NARRATOR: So that's the end of day one.

Time for a hot toddy, methinks.

Nighty night.

It's another new day, full of promise of antiques to be bought and deals to be done.

BRIAN CONLEY: Now, I am looking forward to today.

I'm looking forward to finding some more things.

And, you know, I am absolutely genuinely amazed at how competitive I am-- Yeah, oh, yeah.

--and want to pump you into the ground, Nick Owen.

Absolutely.

Oh, yeah, I mean, I got really competitive.

In the middle of the day, I had to go off and have a rub down with the Radio Times.

I understand.

And that really got me going.

NARRATOR: Well, whatever works for you, Nick.

PHILIP SERRELL: Dear, I'm dying to ask you.

Go on, then.

How did you get on with Brian?

Because he just strikes me as being Mr. 100% Energy.

Oh, he's got incredible energy!

I think from doing all his performances, he must have.

Sorry.

I just got one other question for you.

(IMITATING BRIAN) How did you get on with the voice?

Oh, his incredible voice!

He kept bursting in song.

And because I was going weak at the knees, trying to concentrate on the job.

Anyway, how about you?

How did you get on with Nick?

Nick's a star.

You know, he's such a lovely, lovely sweet man.

And the thing about him is, you know, you see this sort of quite serious newscaster, who has to be quite serious doing the job that he does, the man's got a visual sense of humor.

BRIAN CONLEY: But I'm glad I've got Kate.

A, she's better looking.

Than whom?

Than Phil?

- Than Phil.

Yeah.

It's not a particularly difficult challenge, I don't think.

No, I mean, he really is an antique, isn't he?

Yeah, yeah.

NARRATOR: And with Cabriolet.

Oh, I can hear a car.

Here they come!

Good morning.

Good morning!

Hello.

Good morning to you.

How are you?

Well, well.

Well, well, well, well, well, well, well.

I've been doing press-ups and everything to get going this morning.

- Really?

- I'm so motivated.

- Really?

Slightly frightened, though.

Mr. Motivator.

You two are like a coiled sponge.

[LAUGHTER] KATE BLISS: See you later!

NARRATOR: So just to recap, yesterday, Phil and Nick were our big spenders.

They picked up four items on their travels, comprising two Imari chargers, a Victorian lemonade jug, a silver toddy ladle, and a Georgian fire mark.

Yeah!

NARRATOR: This leaves them with 165 pounds for the day ahead.

Kate and Brian parted with a more modest sum, but still managed to buy three things, a Sinatra statue, a French wash stand, and an art deco mirror, leaving them a much bigger 311 pounds for today.

We'd better win.

NARRATOR: This morning, Nick and Phil are making their journey 60 miles from Shrewsbury to the Worcestershire town of Bromsgrove.

They're heading to the birthplace of the tormented genius, A.E.

Housman, who put neighboring Shropshire on the map and was Nick's dad's favorite poet.

When I was growing up, he used to take me to all these wonderful places around the county.

And so I became familiar with Wenlock Edge, and the Wrekin and the Long Mynd, and Shrewsbury itself.

And those sort of places, I grew to love.

And they are beautiful places, and Housman wrote about them.

Here we are, boy.

Well, this is it.

You're excited, aren't you?

I am so excited.

I can not tell you.

Well, let's have a really good time.

Absolutely thrilled.

NARRATOR: Here to meet them is Robin Shaw of the Housman Society.

ROBIN SHAW: Welcome to Housman's birthplace.

NICK OWEN: Thank you.

Thank you very much.

NARRATOR: Alfred Edward Housman was born in this house in 1859.

His initial success was as a scholar of Latin at Cambridge University.

But it was his 63-poem cycle, "A Shropshire Lad," published in 1896, which really brought him to public attention.

I have to say, Robin, it's an amazing feeling just standing here in front of the house where A.E.

H was born.

This is in Worcestershire, yet he's most famous for writing about Shropshire.

Can you explain that?

Over there, there's a little hill.

It gives you an enormous panorama of Shropshire and down into Worcestershire.

And he used to go at sunset and look at the Shropshire Hill and romanticize about Shropshire.

NARRATOR: Housman began the cycle in his 20s, whilst working in London as a clerk in the patent office, and missing both his rural home and reminiscing about his childhood.

The book was rejected at first, but then sold slowly, before his simple but elegant poems would sell in their thousands during and between both World Wars to young soldiers, like Nick's dad, Bertie.

ROBIN: Soldiers in both World Wars were renowned for carrying a Housman, a little edition in their pocket.

NICK OWEN: They say some lives were saved because they took a bullet there and it hit the book.

Have you heard that story?

I'm sure.

So many were killed, so maybe it happened with one or two, you know.

I don't know.

NARRATOR: The themes of nostalgia and loss resonated with successive generations of young men living far away from home and close to death.

The English have always loved the sort of countryside or rural countryside, which was in the past, it was better than now.

And of course, in Flanders, it was far away.

NICK OWEN: It was in the trenches.

It was far from home.

In the poems, he has that way of capturing a whole landscape in a poem, doesn't he?

NARRATOR: But also inspiring Housman's poems was his own crushing experience of unrequited and illegal love.

While studying at Oxford, he fell in love with a fellow student called Moses Jackson at a time when homosexuality was against the law.

NICK OWEN: Was Jackson aware of Housman's feelings?

We only know that Housman went off for a whole week missing and nobody knew where he'd gone.

But it is usually speculated that he must have told Moses Jackson, and Moses Jackson must have rejected any approach.

NARRATOR: Jackson not only rejected Housman's love, but moved abroad, briefly returning for his wedding, to which Housman was not invited.

Housman remained in love with Moses Jackson until Moses Jackson died over 30 years later.

That sort of burning within him was certainly one of the main springs of the poetry.

NARRATOR: Housman died in 1936, and inspired writers like W.H.

Auden and Alan Bennett.

That he suffered for his art is undeniable.

But to his legions of fans like Nick and his dad, it was the powerful simple style and evocative memories of the views of rural England that mattered.

Oh, wow.

Is this where Housman would have stood?

Yes!

I've got my little book here.

This is my father's book.

Cloth, 2 and 6 it cost.

Anyway, I don't need to read it because I know it all by heart, but I will read it, just in case.

"Into my heart, an air that kills from yon far country blows.

What are those blue remembered hills?

What spires, what farms are those?

That is the land of lost content.

I see it shining plain, the happy highways where I went and cannot come again."

I think I've discovered Housman.

Spectacular, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Absolutely spectacular.

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, Brian and Kate are heading 34 miles south to Bewdley in Worcestershire, home to Led Zeppelin singer Robert Plant and TV chef Rustie Lee.

BRIAN CONLEY: We've got a lot of money to spend today.

We've got a lot of money to spend.

For me, it would be really nice to show you some really nice quality antiques, maybe a little bit of silver.

So let's go for quality.

Let's spend some cash.

And I think we're in a good position.

And have a good time.

Yeah.

More singing, please.

Oh, OK. More singing.

OK, then.

(SINGING) You are my sunshine, my only-- BOTH: (SINGING) Sunshine.

You make me happy when skies are gray.

You'll never know dear how much I love you, so please don't take my sunshine away.

BRIAN CONLEY: I think we can have our own television series.

KATE BLISS: Do you, Brian?

BRIAN CONLEY: Yes.

KATE BLISS: I would be well up for that.

Because, yes, there is some chemistry between us.

And because, you know, of my upbringing, you know, born in a council house in Kilburn, I could sort of play at one level.

You being the-- well, I don't really know how to put this light.

The-- Careful, careful.

Uh, the posh person.

The posh person?

You're that posh.

Yes, we could have-- we could be posh and potty.

Something like-- Posh and potty.

Muck and brass.

Muck and brass, there you go.

Like it.

NARRATOR: Now, safely arrived in Bewdley, it's time to get shopping.

I'll see you later.

See you later.

NARRATOR: Well, at least Kate will be.

Brian!

Brian!

Sorry about that, Kate.

It works, then, does it?

I went for the comedy jugular.

Come on in.

Let's get in.

NARRATOR: Here to help both of them is David.

Do you recognize us?

Uh, it's not Bradley Walsh, is it?

No, it's Brian.

No, it's Brian Conley.

Uh huh, cheeky David.

Let's see what our posh and potty duo can find in here.

It's some puppets.

NARRATOR: You know, Kate, Lady Penelope does bear a certain resemblance.

And Joe 90, that's obvious, he's the spit of Bradley Walsh.

Ha!

There's plenty of vintage items in here, but what Kate is after is something really old.

No, not Brian.

I think this cabinet, if we have a little look, it's got some really nice antiques in it.

Does it mean I have to get my glasses on?

- Maybe.

- Ooh.

Maybe.

Actually, this is quite nice.

Do you remember when we were talking about Napoleon in the museum?

Yes.

We looked at Napoleon's hair lock.

Lock of hair.

This is a memorial brooch.

Somebody has put a little lock of a loved one in there for safekeeping.

And so when you pin it on, you remember them.

NARRATOR: This is made of pinchbeck, a Victorian form of fake gold.

And there's an inscription on the back.

It says "in memory of W Wall."

So that's the deceased whose lock of hair it is.

Yes.

1st of April, 1852.

Oh, that's really interesting, isn't it?

Yeah, so we're well-- To have the name-- yeah, so we can't pretend it's Napoleon's, though.

Not quite.

That's a shame.

So how much is it?

So, yeah, here we go.

25.

See, I don't think that's bad.

I think, yeah, if they're prepared to do us a good deal, [INAUDIBLE].

You know what I'm like with this bartering lot.

I know, but you want to win!

I know, but you do it.

If you do it, and then I'll just look and learn.

NARRATOR: Time to see if David can do our duo a deal.

Hello, hello, hello.

And good evening, all.

How are we?

Good cop, bad cop, all right?

I'm with you on that.

I'm bad because I want a good deal.

KATE BLISS: We were looking for a proper antique, and this fits the bill.

Mhm.

I just noticed there, there's a tiny little sort of repair here on the-- it's been done a long time ago.

Mhm.

Do you see it?

There's a little bit that's been added there.

I just wondered, the ticket price is 25-- What were you thinking, Kate?

Well, I was going to be cheeky and go in at sort of 10.

Um, what about 18?

What if I came up, David, to 14?

I mean, that's bang in the middle.

Does that help you?

And a massage, huh?

I think 15 and we've got a deal.

Oh, Yes.

Thank you very much, Dave.

Yeah.

NARRATOR: That's the way to do it, Brian.

Kate has got a tenner off the ticket price.

Hey!

So, good.

One to go.

Very good.

One to go.

One to find.

And we want to buy something big.

Fingers crossed.

A little gem.

NARRATOR: With that little spending spree finished, both our teams are now heading for the final destination for today.

Nick and Phil have a head start, though, and are well on their way along the 10 miles to the black country town of Stourbridge, famous for its glass industry, which started in the 17th century, and is still celebrated to this day, with the British Glass Biennale held in the town.

And the final shop is Grandad's Attic.

Granddad's not feeling well, so Dave is helping out.

You must be Dave.

- I am Dave.

- Hi there.

Good to meet you.

Yeah.

Hi, I'm Philip.

How are you?

Thanks for having us along.

NARRATOR: Now, with 165 pounds left, what might tickle their fancy in here?

Oh, look at this.

This is something.

I love that.

I really like that.

NARRATOR: Ah, the old willow on leather, eh?

Another of Nick and his dad's great loves.

These are great cricketers from a long time ago.

This guy here, Wally Hammond, my father was always going on about him.

What a great cricketer he was.

And there's another further down I spotted.

Reg Perks.

His son was one of my friends in my early days in broadcasting, Peter Perks.

And that's his dad.

Gosh, I wonder if Peter knows that's here.

That's really nice.

NARRATOR: Time to get out of memory lane, though, Nick.

You need to get into the fast lane and find some items, especially with Brian and Kate hot on your heels.

- Quick.

- Come on, Kate.

Let's see where they are.

Yes, I know they got here first, but you know what, Brian?

I don't think they've made it upstairs.

No.

Well, let's-- So-- Split up, split up.

OK. NARRATOR: Two teams, one shot.

Ooh, this might get a bit tasty.

I think that's quite cool.

I'll tell you what, that would be really nice in your living room, if you're that sort of person.

Then we're going to Stansted.

Is Stansted trendy?

Well, there's no new places around Stansted that are trendy, surely.

How far is that from London?

NARRATOR: A niche item like this is going to be a gamble no matter where you sell it or how much you get it for.

Would you ask how much that is?

Yeah, it's 225 on there.

Dave, we were looking at this here.

We both really like that because Nick spent a lot of time on the stage.

Make me a good offer.

It won't be a good one.

Won't?

No, it'll be a horrible one.

Try a horrible one first.

100 pounds.

I wasn't going that high.

No.

Nope.

Where are you on that, then?

The absolute best is 130.

Could we think about that?

Of course.

NARRATOR: A definite maybe for these two hipsters, then.

But what about our other team?

[HORN] Ooh!

That was me.

I'm a nervous wreck working with you!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

That's a good one.

Hey, what about these, Brian?

You know, there's a really buoyant market in old enameled signs.

Mhm.

"Nugget boots polish."

[HORN] I like that.

What do we got?

380.

We haven't got 380, have we?

No, I know, I know.

I suppose we have to buy this.

NARRATOR: Team Conley has nearly 300 pounds left, but I'm not sure Brian wants to spend it on the sign.

You know, I'm going to go with your professionalism here, but if I saw that in a skip, I'd probably leave it there.

I would be absolutely totally unaware of how expensive this bit of metal is.

You know, I think it's amazing.

Well, this is why I'm here.

I know, but would we make a profit on it, or will someone throw it on a skip?

You'd be surprised.

There's a lot of people who would love to have that on their wall.

- Hello.

- Hello, hello, hello.

- Hello-ey!

- What have you got there?

- Eh?

I've got the ol'-- [HORN] How are you doing?

You're not buying that, are you?

Um, no.

We were just, uh-- - Well, we might be-- Yeah, no.

--the way we're going.

Yeah, we're just keeping it from you, love.

That's a 10,000,000 pound Ming vase over there.

Oh, so it is?

We could look at that!

Right, now they're out of the way.

- Yeah.

- What are we going to do?

We are going to, uh, see if we can knock it down.

Let's be honest, let's see if we can knock it down.

OK, let's go find our fella.

OK, OK. NARRATOR: And our fella on this occasion is the very helpful Dale.

We'd like to make you an offer, which may be slightly cheeky.

- OK. - I don't want to offend you.

I don't want cheeky bits.

You can say yes or no.

You can say it with a smile.

Eh?

[SOFT HORN] Didn't work then.

Sorry about that.

KATE BLISS: How does a nice round 100 pound say?

DALE: It's a good starting point.

KATE BLISS: Right.

DALE: It's a good starting point.

Could you stretch to 200?

I would say that would be a bit much for us.

It is.

What do you think, Brian?

Oh, um, 150?

I could shake on 170.

160?

14-- Go on, now.

OK, 160?

No!

I'll shake on 160.

I've got that wrong, didn't I, Nope, you get-- go in there.

All right, then.

160.

160 it is.

Thank you very much.

NARRATOR: Not bad.

That's the sign for less than half price at 160.

I think Brian is getting the hang of this, you know.

For another tenner, could we have the horn?

What's the price?

It is 45.

Go on, you lovely man.

I could do it for-- Go on, then.

I could do it for 25.

25 will do it.

- What are we going to do: 20?

20 will do.

Yeah, how about that?

Yeah!

Look, I'm good at bartering.

Yeah.

Come on, then.

Let's go.

NARRATOR: Oh, blimey.

Brian's lightning purchase of the pre-war car horn for 20 pounds has brought their shopping to an end.

But can Nick and Phil also close the day with a purchase too?

Oh, blimey.

Hey, I found something.

I don't want you to see what it is.

OK.

But I just want you to do something for me.

What's that?

I want you to phone me on my mobile, please.

OK. What, now?

Yes.

[MUSIC - MORECAMBE RINGTONE SONG: (SINGING) Bring me laughter.

That's my favorite.

I love Morecambe and Wise.

Morecambe and Wise, yeah.

Eric Morecambe was a genius.

Yeah, my hero.

Fantastic.

My absolute hero.

I'm not really sure what that's got to do with what we're doing here.

Well, I've just come across this.

What?

An original 1966 Morecambe and Wise poster, "That Riviera Touch."

Authentic and unique.

Besides everything else, he was the funniest man of the 20th century.

How much is it?

A whacking 185.

Oh.

I couldn't go looking around antique shops and bric-a-brac shops and find something about Eric Morecambe and Ernie wise that I didn't have a go for.

No.

Me, I just-- I wouldn't sleep at night.

So we've got 165 pounds left.

Yes.

What I'd really love to do is to buy that-- For about 50.

That and the light.

NARRATOR: Now, the ticket price for the lamp is 225 pounds, so that's a combined ticket price of a whopping 410 pounds.

And our hardy hunters have only got 165.

Standby.

Now, I've got a feeling this is going to be a very tough time for us.

But-- OK. --Nick here is a huge fan of Eric Morecambe.

Now, we can either try and bid you or we can be utterly truthful with you and tell you how much money we've got.

I prefer honesty, Phil.

OK, we've got 165 quid.

Total.

We really love your light.

Mhm.

And we really love that.

Can those two be bought for 160?

We haven't got a penny more.

Um, well-- We have not got a penny more.

I cannot-- I would not be asked for the two.

But we-- honestly, this isn't a question of cheap negotiation.

We have no more money at all.

We have no option.

[FAKE CRYING] I'm sorry.

Sorry.

I get emotional.

I'll get the violin [INAUDIBLE].. Um, OK, Nick-- Do you want to go in and think about it?

No.

No.

I would like you to win, Nick.

Aw.

And you're local.

NARRATOR: Aw, the local lad saves the day.

So that's the lamp for 100 pounds and the poster for 65.

285 pounds knocked off!

That would bring anyone sunshine.

Well, that's all the shopping done, so it's time for our teams to pass judgment on their opponents' words.

OK, well, I'd like to know what you've got.

Shall I give you a clue?

Yeah.

[HORN] A horn.

I thought it was indigestion.

Typical Conley, that.

Voilá.

Voilá.

Ooh, wow!

Look at that.

What does that remind you of?

Ah, ha, yeah, absolutely.

That's class, that is.

Frank Sinatra.

No.

No, it's a [INAUDIBLE].

[LAUGHS] [INAUDIBLE]!

It is.

What's this?

I just want to know.

Ah, this is art deco, a little mirror here.

Mhm.

And, uh, is that scary?

Ah!

Yeah, there you go.

What we've forgotten to mention is at the front.

KATE BLISS: Our piéce de résistance!

BRIAN CONLEY: Our most expensive lot.

Ta-da!

Grass?

Oh, no.

Sorry.

Have a look, have a look.

How much is that?

It's a lot of money for a bit of tin.

It was 160, which I think-- For a minute, I thought they said 160.

Yeah, I know.

It's a joke.

One pound, 60.

- Yeah.

Would you like to see some quality?

Come on, let's have a look.

Ta-da!

[HORN] Oh, wow.

- Whoa!

You're going to wonder what some of these things are, aren't you?

That, you can probably spot it's a joke.

It's actually a lemonade jug.

Oh, that's nice.

Victorian lemonade jug.

And that is silver.

Wow.

And then there's the plates.

Yes.

These are Japanese plates.

- Yeah?

- All right.

They've got a special name, Imari.

Yup, from the port of Imari.

Are they old?

Uh, well, they're not young.

All right.

All right?

Plates, I don't know.

But talk about this.

This is a very rare poster.

It was actually claimed to be unique.

But-- You've been heckled-- No, no, no.

--by your partner in crime.

He's just got a twitch.

OK.

It's claimed to be unique.

No, you've got to get things you want.

Funniest man of the 20th century-- Oh, I agree.

--apart from Brian Conley, obviously.

Thank you very much.

Very kind, yeah.

Well, I think you've done well.

I think we've all done well.

I've got to say, you've got some nice things.

Yeah.

NARRATOR: All very friendly, but what do they really think?

I have to say, my gut feeling is I'm glad we've got what we've got.

I wouldn't swap any of theirs.

I was really-- I'm quite happy what we've bought.

- Yeah.

- I really am.

Phil liked my statue.

He loved that!

I know!

Through gritted teeth.

I mean, it's just naff.

Yeah.

- [INAUDIBLE], but I like it.

- But I agree with you.

There's something about it.

It's quite attractive in its own ways, isn't it?

Well done, partner.

All right, should we go and see how well we do then?

And you taught me a lot.

- Oh, get out of here.

- You have, no.

Thank you.

- I'll buy you a beer.

Come on.

NARRATOR: And now, on to auction, for those antiques are to be sold.

Our team started their trip in Albrighton, meandering around Shropshire and Worcestershire before heading nearly 150 miles south to Essex and Sworders Auctioneers in Stanstead Mountfitchet.

NICK OWEN: So this is a big moment.

BRIAN CONLEY: I know!

NICK OWEN: The moment of truth!

Are you feeling a bit nervous about it?

Uh, I'm already nervous.

I've seen your auction lot.

Yeah, and you were-- I thought-- I felt you were intimidated.

No.

You know, I'm looking forward to seeing what happens with my Morecambe and Wise poster.

We've all got something we really want.

For me, it's the lounge singer.

For you, it's the poster, isn't it?

Yeah.

We both sat here at the beginning of this and said, well, we're not really competitive.

Do you think that's suddenly changed now?

A bit, yeah.

I don't want to be humiliated.

Yeah.

NARRATOR: Today's auctioneers Sworders, have been in business since 1782, and originally hailed from Bishop's Stortford, just over the county border in Hertfordshire.

Hang on.

Where's Kate?

Hello, mate.

I'm afraid you've got me on my own.

Yeah?

Oh.

Oh, that's all right.

Now, I just want you to know just because there's me-- Yeah?

--I'm not going to show any bias at all here, right, but-- come on, mate.

Yeah, OK. [INAUDIBLE] May the best man win.

NARRATOR: Unfortunately, Kate can't be here due to unforeseen circumstances, so Brian will be going solo.

And on top of that, auctioneer James has some more bad news.

The silver-mounted lemonade jug, unfortunately, damaged in transit.

Had it made it here in one piece and was in tip-top condition, somewhere 50 to 80 pounds.

NARRATOR: So in the spirit of fairness, the original 70 pound purchase price has been returned to Phil and Nick's kitty, meaning they have spent a total now of 330 pounds on five lots.

Brian and Kate have spent 284 on six lots.

But what's caught James's eye?

The wooden spoon, the one I'm worried about would be Sinatra.

I don't think I-- I can't say any more than that.

It is terrible.

NARRATOR: Harsh.

Don't let it get under your skin, Frank.

The room is full.

The phones and internet bidders are also poised.

Let's get this auction going, shall we?

I have a secret weapon which I'll reveal.

Which is what?

I'm not going to tell you.

Secret, I think.

NARRATOR: First up, it's the chairman of the board.

Is Frank going to fly to the moon for Brian?

JAMES: Frank Sinatra.

Where's he going?

What's he doing now?

Uh, James.

James, if I could just say, ladies and gentlemen, now, I'm a huge star.

NARRATOR: Hang on, hang on, this is most irregular.

This is my lot, ladies and gentlemen, but I don't wish to influence this in any way, but I have here-- [INAUDIBLE].

How embarrassing.

--picture of me with this auction lot in this beautiful, beautiful picture frame.

Is this allowed?

Is this allowed in the rules?

I can't see that adding didn't value, frankly.

Carry on with the auction, James.

NICK OWEN: [INAUDIBLE] It was difficult enough as it was.

Right, let's move on.

Do you know what I think?

You've just been disqualified.

Frank Sinatra.

20 pounds, surely, ladies and gentlemen.

A figure of Frank Sinatra.

There he is, 20.

PHILIP SERRELL: It's embarrassing, isn't it?

10 pounds anywhere?

10 on bid.

Yay!

JAMES: 10 pounds with away.

10 pounds.

Do I see 12?

How much did that Frank cost you?

10 pounds.

How much did that Frank cost?

It cost me 20 quid.

[LAUGHTER] 10 pounds.

[BANG] I'll tell you what, you won them over.

Yeah.

Fantastic.

NARRATOR: Hardly pennies from heaven.

Only a pound, even with a picture.

Can I just say, I think the audience, I think you probably overwhelmed them or underwhelmed them, or one or the other.

I'm not sure which.

NARRATOR: Next, it's Nick and Phil's Imari charger plates.

JAMES: 30 pounds surely.

Starting at 30.

30 is all I'm looking for.

20, then, if it must be to get me started.

20 pounds this bid.

22.

- 22?

JAMES: 25?

You're joking.

JAMES: 25 pounds with the gentleman standing.

At 25 pounds.

- [INAUDIBLE] That really is very silly.

That really is silly.

At 25 pounds, then.

Are we all done for the plates?

OK.

I'm not sure anybody's ever been punched on this program before.

- This is slightly disturbing.

If I hold him, will you punch him?

Will you?

NARRATOR: Ouch!

That's a big loss to start with.

What profit did you make on that one, Phil?

Well, it's sort of give or take, minus 50.

So when's your next show then, Nick?

Yeah, well, I've been doing the news fairly soon.

I keep doing the news [INAUDIBLE] for some time now.

Yeah, I enjoy-- I love watching you.

And it's much more fulfilling.

Thank you.

Yeah, it's lovely.

NARRATOR: Brian and Kate's second item is the art deco mirror.

JAMES: At 10 pounds is all I'm asking for it.

10 is bid.

12.

[INAUDIBLE] f gone mad.

16.

18.

20.

22.

24.

26.

NICK OWEN: Yeah, I'm fed up now.

- 26 for the new plates.

BRIAN CONLEY: Shh, shh!

JAMES: 28.

30.

At 30.

And [INAUDIBLE] Oh, that's great, isn't it?

That's really, really lovely.

- Yes!

- Absolutely-- I'm really delighted for you.

Yeah, I'm absolutely over the moon.

NARRATOR: That's a nice little earner for team Conley.

I am unbelievably happy.

Yeah, so am I.

And what's really nice is you know that he's not going to go on, and on, and on, and on.

Well, he's not the gloating type.

No, not a gloat at all.

NARRATOR: And the fire mark heat things up for Nick and Phil.

10?

10, I have.

15, I have.

20, I have.

20 pounds, then.

25.

30 now.

It's moving.

Internet strikes up at 30 pounds.

The bid is online at 30.

Any further bids?

35 now.

At 35 pounds.

It's still with the internet at 35.

Frankly, I'm distraught.

NARRATOR: Oh, another loss.

Is it too early to surrender?

- No.

- No?

No.

NARRATOR: Next up for Brian is the French wash stand.

JAMES: 20, I have.

Oh, come on.

Good luck, mate.

I'm really with you.

Yeah.

JAMES: 30.

Go on, then.

Go on and get it.

JAMES: Online, the internet has woken up.

35 pounds.

40 is bid, then.

It's in the room.

I think that's probably about right.

It's a result, though.

[INAUDIBLE] we would have been so pleased with that.

I can't believe we've lost on that one.

How much did we lose?

50 pounds bid, still in in the room.

Oh, look, it's still going.

Online then at 55.

I could sell it, if we're all done, at 55 pounds.

We'd be pleased with that.

I know.

NARRATOR: That's Brian and Kate's first loss of the day.

Nick, I should have been your expert.

NARRATOR: Next, it's another of Kate's and Brian's lots, the Victoria Memorial brooch.

JAMES: With me here at 20 pounds.

They've got 20 pound bids.

That's profit.

22.

25.

Oh, it is!

And you said it would despite Kate, didn't you?

JAMES: At 28 pounds in the back of the room.

Here we go.

JAMES: At 28 pounds.

It's at the back of the room at 28, and selling if we're all done.

Yes.

get in there.

Try and look not-- this is a smile.

Ready?

Well done.

NARRATOR: Another profit for Brian.

He's starting to pull away here.

I'm really delighted for you, Brian.

- Yeah, I'm pleased, Brian.

- Thank you, love.

- Well done.

- Thank you.

28 pounds.

NARRATOR: Now, will the toddy ladle give Phil and Nick a chance to catch up?

30 is bid.

At 30 pounds.

And five.

35.

40.

Five.

50.

Ooh.

At 55 pounds.

At 55 online.

Oh, it's going up.

Now we're talking profit here.

JAMES: At 60 [INAUDIBLE].

60 pounds [INAUDIBLE] internet.

NICK OWEN: At least it's plus, not minus.

It's not often that I've wished ill on people.

No.

My fault.

I introduced you to him.

[INAUDIBLE].

I apologize.

Yeah, yeah.

NARRATOR: A first profit for Phil and Nick.

Could this be a comeback?

I'm so happy.

Come on, come on, come on.

Shut up.

Come on.

NARRATOR: It's Brian's horn.

Can the largest item produce a profit?

20 pounds is bid.

At 20 pounds is bid.

At 20 with me.

Here at 20.

And two, do I see anywhere?

At 20 pounds.

22, I have.

Oh, no, it's another profit for him.

At 22.

25.

At 25 pounds is bid now.

At 25 pounds.

Oh, please.

Look, please-- Try and smile, all right?

Look.

Be gracious.

At 25 pounds.

Yes!

NARRATOR: It's a profit, just.

I don't want to gloat too much, you know.

No, don't.

Honestly, don't.

I will.

Let's just-- NARRATOR: Now, Nick's favorite item.

Can Eric and Ernie bring him some sunshine?

At 30, and 5.

40.

At 40 pounds with me here.

Against your internet this time at 45.

50.

Online, still.

Two internet bidders.

At 50 pounds online.

At 50.

This is a result for us.

50 pounds and it is.

At 50 pounds, and selling.

All right, it's getting embarrassing.

It is getting embarrassing, ladies and gentlemen.

That's it, then.

NARRATOR: Oh, another loss for the boys.

I think it's the taking part that is important.

It is.

No, it's not.

It's the winning.

NARRATOR: It's Brian and Kate's final item, the Edwardian sign.

JAMES: Lots of interest here.

We've got high commission bids left.

Lots of interest here.

And we can start eliminating the lower ones.

Straight in at 100 pounds is the bid.

110 online.

120.

Against the internet now.

- Oh, no!

120 pounds.

130.

The bid is-- I'm really pleased for you, Brian.

--on the internet for 130 pounds.

Any advance in the room?

At 130 pounds.

Are we all done for the boot polish sign?

At 130.

That's actually done better than I thought it was going to.

Any advance at 130?

That's all right.

We only lost 30 pounds.

Look at the look on his face.

That's all right.

NARRATOR: The polish sign didn't shine for them, but have they done enough to win?

Sorry, ladies and gentlemen.

This is now getting boring, ain't it?

Because they keep losing, and I keep winning.

This is getting bitter.

We are not resentful.

It's the end of the show.

NARRATOR: Nick and Phil's last item is the theater lamp.

Will their big spend gamble light up their day?

JAMES: 50, then, to get me started.

30, if it must be.

See, that is just ridiculous, really.

30 pounds.

Blank faces all round.

I thought this would do OK. 20.

Oh, dear.

Deary me.

20, we have.

20 pounds in the back of the room.

A lowly 20 pounds.

Do you want to start the car?

Can I say even I feel sorry for you.

25 is bid now.

In a new place.

30.

35, if you'd like.

It's starting to motor a bit now.

30 pounds in the back of the room.

30 pounds only.

You see, that is just bonkers.

That is just bonkers, isn't it?

- That is rubbish.

Salt in the wound, isn't it?

Devastating.

NARRATOR: Oh, dear.

I think that's left them in the shade.

Time for the totting up.

That, as they say, is that.

No, what they say is a whitewash, love.

That's what they say.

NARRATOR: So the scores on the doors.

Philip and Nick started the trip with 400 pounds, and after paying auction costs, made a loss of 166 pounds, leaving them with 234 pounds in their piggy.

Brian and the absent Kate also started with 400 pounds.

After auction costs, they made a smaller loss of 56 pounds and four p, leaving them with a bigger total of 343 pounds and 96 pence, making them today's road trip winners.

Congratulations.

There's nothing like a modest winner, is there?

PHILIP SERRELL: Anyway, off you go, then.

NICK OWEN: Are there any other experts in case I get asked again?

BRIAN CONLEY: You can lose that one.

Yeah, thanks for stopping.

Yes!

Take care, Phil.

You're going to have to walk home, love.

See ya.

Keep in touch.

Have you enjoyed it?

I have genuinely loved it.

Do you reckon you'd do this again if you were asked?

Um, I would love to do it.

[ENGINE GRINDS] Oh, but I want a better car.

It's lovely because we're mates.

And it's just great that we've had this experience together, and even got to know each other a little bit more now because we've had, you know, these last few days together.

And, you know, the worrying thing, those antiques aren't as old as us.

NARRATOR: Until next time, cheerio.

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