Episode 2

♪ ♪ ♪ Mature Jennifer: Sweet dreams are an ideal preface to the dawn.

We can begin in sunshine and with purpose.

We can draw from a well filled with rest and possibility.

Nothing has been started, nothing has been spent, if we're lucky.

Each day dawns blank, a sheet of paper waiting for our story.

We start to create it the moment that we wake.

More marmalade!

Do tuck in.

Plenty more where that came from.

You can say that again.

Sister Julienne: I think what Nurse Crane means is, well, variety is the spice of life.

Oh!

Would you like me to make a different flavor?

Nurse Crane and Sister Monica Joan: No!

Good morning, Lucille!

Morning.

You were on my mind the minute I woke up this morning.

I had fun and games last night with the set of the sleeve on your cardigan.

There's no rush.

I've a bit of a special one for your district list today.

Mr. Thomas Woodleigh, 11 Calafat Street.

Born 1889.

It appears he took a tumble on his front step.

Multiple sutures in his left hand.

Dressing changes needed, and whilst detained overnight, he underwent a test that suggests a degree of macular degeneration.

So, he is losing his sight.

Well, further tests required, apparently, and Mr. Woodleigh is refusing to cooperate.

See if you can get him to trust you, then we can move things on.

Sister, I collected the urn from the Florrie.

Where shall I leave it?

Thank you, Cyril.

Sister Monica Joan: In my view, it should remain in the Florrie.

And Sister Julienne should entertain her friends there.

It's an opportunity to give first-time mothers some practical advice in a less-formal environment.

And I hope they enjoy each other's company.

I intuit the hand of Sister Veronica.

No.

It was all my idea.

Although I do admit, Sister Veronica's arrival has lifted my spirits and freed me to spend more time with the people that we serve.

This parlor is a place of quietude and reflection.

And the television!

I am not in favor of this... invasion!

[Knocking on door] [Bell tolling in distance] Nurse?

You looking for Nadine?

Yes.

I think she might have popped out.

Worse than that.

[Horn honking] [Tires squealing] Whoa!

Slow down, you!

If the boss finds I let you drive the van, he'll have me guts for garters!

[Tires squeal] [Sets brake] Ha ha!

You worry too much.

Yeah.

Mwah!

[Exhales] Miss Nadine has had an ovary removed.

A very nasty case of torsion, according to Sister.

Oh, no!

The neighbor said she was screaming as they carried her into the ambulance.

Well, she will be on Female Surgical for at least a fortnight and may then need to convalesce away from home.

I believe her little girl is staying with a friend, but I've no idea who's looking after the dancing school.

Unmarried ladies are often extremely resourceful.

I imagine she has a plan in place for all disasters.

Well, I know she hasn't a plan in place for the Maypole dance at Whitsuntide.

I'd refer it to the committee, but now she's in hospital and Violet's away.

The committee is really just me.

[Laughing] Come on.

Let's get out of here!

[Knocking] Man: Who--who is it?

District Nurse calling.

The cut is healing nicely, Mr. Woodleigh.

You'll be getting these stitches out by the end of the week.

Ah.

Yeah.

Can you get the smell of milk out of me trousers while you're at it?

Ohh!

Ha ha!

Oh, I made a right fool of meself tripping over that crate, glass everywhere.

Gold top everywhere.

Gold top?

I like your style.

Oh, I got this grandson, done well for hisself.

He pays the milkman for me, yeah.

Yeah, keeps me in biscuits and all.

There's a tin here somewhere.

Oh, on the table.

Woodleigh: Ah, yeah, that's them.

He gets some Royal Appointment shop up west to deliver 'em.

Classy.

Some of them are rock hard.

And I can't dip 'em in me tea 'cause they're covered in chocolate.

You're lucky to have family around you, Mr. Woodleigh.

Oh, depends what you mean by "around."

I-I've never been to my grandson's house.

The one who sends you the biscuits?

Uh, and the rest.

They've just gone.

Gone where?

No one is forcing me out of Poplar or this house.

I worked them wharves for near 60 years.

You were a docker?

Oh, uh, uhh... Ohh!

Uh, make us a cup of tea, Nurse.

I mean, I'd do it only I reckon my hand won't let me.

[Sighs] Sister Julienne: Everyone here has expressed an interest in attending a breastfeeding demonstration.

Therefore, Mrs. Wade has kindly brought baby Simon in today.

[Simon fussing] Women: Aww...

Sister Julienne: Luckily for us, it sounds as though he's rather hungry.

[Women chuckle] Woman: Those little contented noises they make when they're feeding.

Bit like my old man when he's got his Sunday lunch.

[Laughter] Your bodies will change rapidly as you approach the birth itself.

That can cause some breast tenderness.

Do you want one of your biscuits?

Uh, not really.

Ohh, tea.

Your grandson might be hurt if he came to visit and thought you weren't enjoying it.

He won't visit.

Are there any Marie biscuits?

No.

I'm afraid they're all a bit more superior.

I like a Marie biscuit.

Mr. Woodleigh, I'll be coming back to check on your hand until we take the stitches out, but you know we're going to have to address the trouble with your eyesight, too, don't you?

I manage.

It's like I'm looking through a window that's been badly cleaned with a great dark streak across the middle.

Is it like that now?

Ehh... Can you see me?

Well, not if you move about.

Can you describe me?

Nurse's dress, uh... and I don't think you're a Londoner.

That--that might just be the sound of your voice.

You've got a nice voice.

Thank you.

I'm going to speak to the occupational therapists.

We'll see what they can do to make life easier for you.

My life isn't hard.

[Talking indistinctly] Woman: Thank you, Sister.

That was ever so nice.

Oh, I'm glad you enjoyed it, Mrs. Reynolds.

I'm Lilian.

Lilian.

I didn't like to mention it in front of everyone, but one of my bosoms is really sore.

Just one?

Yes.

Sore and, I don't know, as if it's a bit hot?

Well, why don't we take a look at it in clinic tomorrow?

I'm sure we can put your mind at ease.

Flower, sorry I'm late.

Don't worry.

They keep you in the office?

No, but I had to go and see Brother Selwyn and Sister Mary.

They're being evicted from their flat.

But they've just done all those repairs and got it all spruced up.

And their neighbors objected to their presence.

That is against the law.

We all know that.

They're going to stay with his family in Brixton and look for a new home there.

Perhaps there's safety in numbers.

There's no safety anywhere.

Lucille, have faith.

And if you can't have faith, will you just allow me to tell you something nice?

[Sighs] Please tell me something nice.

I've booked a telephone call home to Jamaica.

To Jamaica?

When?

Tomorrow night.

But it isn't even Christmas or anybody's birthday!

How did you even manage to do it without me finding out?

I'm just very good at keeping a neutral expression and secrets.

If I took up poker, I might even make some money.

Me and my husband can't wait.

Am I still on course to have it at home, Doctor?

Absolutely.

Baby, blood pressure, urine-- they're all spot on.

Everything is as it should be in that regard.

And I can still do the splits!

Hmm?

Well, probably.

I haven't tried since I've been in the family way.

Ha ha!

I would hope not.

I was a red coat.

I worked at a holiday camp.

That's how I met my Ronnie.

I was entertainment.

He was maintenance.

Well, they do say opposites attract.

Doctor, Mrs. Reynolds-- Lilian raised a concern about some discomfort with her breast.

I wondered if we might take a look at it before she leaves.

Of course.

Goodness.

That does look sore.

I wondered this morning if it was my bra.

I've just changed soap powders.

[Keys clacking] Lilian is getting dressed.

I think the speed with which you referred her to St. Cuthbert's has shaken her a little.

I haven't much choice.

The skin feels warm as though there's an infection, but she doesn't have a temperature.

And it's extremely unlikely that it's mastitis, because she's still pregnant.

She's very keen to breastfeed.

Well, let's get the girl some answers.

The wedding photographs were the best wedding photographs I have ever seen.

Ha ha!

I have such a beautiful frame for the one of Celine and Edwin.

Tell her we'll send her a photo of the photograph.

[Woman speaking on phone, indistinct] What do you mean, "Wait till I hear the news?"

Yes.

Of course I will act surprised when she tells me.

Woman: Celine is pregnant!

Ha ha ha!

[Woman continues indistinctly] That is lovely, and so soon after the wedding.

We'll be needing an even bigger photo frame.

Celine is having a baby.

Oh, allelujah.

Praise Jesus.

Cyril says "Allelujah!"

and "Praise Jesus."

[Hangs up phone] Lucille.

Lucille.

Lucille.

Our time will come.

[Bell ringing] [Telephone rings] Yeah, wouldn't mind her giving me a bed bath.

Ronnie!

[Slaps Ronnie's lap] I've never known anyone who could lower the tone like you.

[Door opens] Nurse: Mrs. Reynolds, you can come through.

You can wait here, sir.

Ronnie: Oh.

[Knock on door] Morning, Mr. Woodleigh.

Ah!

Here I come all bright and breezy.

Y-you don't sound bright and breezy.

I'll have a look at your hand, then I'll take you through the appointments we've arranged about your eyesight.

Well, you'll need to open them curtains, or you'll not be able to see what you're about.

Curtains are wide open, Mr. Woodleigh, and it's a sunny day.

Is it?

Oh!

I--I can't see anything all of a sudden.

Lucille: All of a sudden?

N-not on this side!

I thought X-rays were for looking at your bones, not your bosoms.

Oh, you'd be surprised what we get up to.

[Rattling] [Loud buzz] I've never heard of anyone having a biopsy.

I'm not even sure what it is.

It will all be over in two ticks.

And you really can't see anything at all out of the left one now?

Drops.

That's what you need to give me.

Eye drops will put it right.

I wish they could.

The trouble is, Mr. Woodleigh, I think you've had some bleeding at the back of your eye.

Is that this mac-maculitis they said I've got or... Macular degeneration.

Yes, I think so.

Well, we need to get you to a specialist before we can be sure.

Mr. Woodleigh already has an appointment booked at the eye hospital in a fortnight's time.

No.

I wouldn't mind getting this looked at sooner.

Now, the thing is, Tommy, at your age, macular degeneration usually progresses slowly, just creeps up on you, but it can make sudden lunges forward like this.

I reckon an ambulance ride is in order.

Ohh!

Uhh...

Your razor and your toothbrush are in this bag.

You hang onto it now.

I'm only getting in the ambulance if you promise me I'm coming home again.

Of course you're coming home.

They'll only keep you in for a night or two.

I need to be where I belong!

Even if you can't see home, you can smell it.

Well, we've had a day and a half of it at the maternity home!

Two deliveries, and then a very weepy admission for bed rest.

Gladys Pryor?

[Sets bag on table] Have you had a day of it, too, lass?

Today, I had to look after an old man who has no family and is almost completely blind.

Tommy Woodleigh?

The trick is to remind yourself of what you've actually done to help.

Good morning, Sister Julienne.

Greetings.

Good morning, Sister.

I think it might be appropriate for you to pop in on Lilian Reynolds this morning.

She was on the telephone first thing fretting about her home delivery pack.

I thought she sounded very on edge.

Of course.

She's due a routine urine test, and I'd like to, um, check on her biopsy site.

Sister, do you not find it funny taking orders like the rest of us?

No.

I'm simply a midwife amongst midwives.

Makes me happier than I can say!

I'm sorry about the mess, Sister.

My husband's like a little kid, always taking things apart to see how they work.

As long as he puts them back together again.

He only does that when people pay him.

When it's our own belongings, it's like he only does it to satisfy his curiosity.

This biopsy seems to be healing very nicely.

My skin's still really sore and itchy, though.

Lilian, the biopsy is a test, not a form of treatment.

Did the specialist not explain that to you?

He was quite breezy, really.

He said it looked a bit naughty and it wasn't usual to see breast tissue looking like orange peel, all dimpled and whatnot.

Did you ask him what he thought the problem might be?

I didn't really ask him anything.

I just wanted to get my bra back on and out of there.

I didn't feel comfortable without my underpinnings.

I was never that sort of entertainer!

So often these days, now that medicine can do so much, doctors investigate simply because they can.

And the results can be very reassuring.

I do hope so, Sister, because I've had a call to go and see him at the hospital this afternoon.

[Keys jingling] That's my Ronnie... come to pick me up.

[Doorbell jingles] [People talking indistinctly] Mrs. Wallace.

I'm so glad you could come.

Many apologies if I smell of disinfectant, Nurse Crane.

I've come straight from the hospital.

I probably smell of sterilizing fluid.

[Chuckles] My last act on duty was to make up a dozen baby bottles.

We both know why we're here, Mrs. Wallace.

Lucille is so loved by so many people, but she is going further and further downhill, and it breaks my heart to see it.

She needs help, Mrs. Wallace.

You mean medical help?

That may become a requirement, but Lucille sets such store by her religion.

I was wondering if there might be some comfort in her faith for her.

There's always comfort in faith, Nurse Crane.

The trouble comes when you stop believing that.

Please, will you try and find a way through for her?

Nurse Crane, that is what a church is for.

You leave it with me.

[Telephone rings, door opens] Might be that nurse you fancy.

Tsk.

You ought to ask her if she has anything wants mending.

[Door opens] Do come through, Mrs. Reynolds.

Man: Oh, and Mr. Reynolds, too.

[Light instrumental music playing on TV] I've come round with my begging bowl, Sister.

Have you anything for the Whitsun raffle?

I have often had cause to wish we lived in a less Godly society, for wherever there is altruism, there is invariably a raffle!

Marmalade!

And plenty of it!

Shelagh: Good gracious!

Someone's been busy.

There must be a year's supply in here!

The gesture is not entirely devoid of self-interest.

Ha ha ha!

[Jars clinking] Ronnie: Want a cup of tea, Lil?

I don't know.

I don't know, Ronnie.

I don't know what's happened.

I don't know what he said.

It was like my blood was rushing in my ears, drowning his voice out.

He was smiling, wasn't he?

He can't have been saying anything that bad.

He was saying you got cancer, Lil.

I can't have cancer.

Cancer is a lump, and I haven't got a lump.

And I'm having a baby!

[Crying] Nobody gets cancer when they're pregnant.

Miss Higgins, I think I need to speak to Mr. Sawyer at St. Cuthbert's.

He's just written to me about Lilian Reynolds' diagnosis.

It's a really rare type of cancer involving inflammation.

I've never come across this before.

Miss Higgins: I'll seek to connect you immediately, but perhaps you'd like to take the call in your office after which you can confer with Mr. Reynolds?

We, uh, we thought you might know what's happening.

Where's Lilian?

She's at home.

Um, she was too upset to leave the house.

Miss Higgins: I would like to be connected to Mr. Sawyer, please, Consultant General Surgeon.

Dr. Turner: Mr. Sawyer took me through your diagnosis, step by step.

Lilian: Could you understand what he was saying?

Some doctors are better at talking to other doctors than they are to people.

[Sighs] Dr. Turner: I'm sorry if he didn't make things clear enough to you.

Your variant of breast cancer is very, very unusual.

He's only ever seen one case before.

Lilian: It is cancer, then.

I'm afraid it is, Lilian.

He only ever said that word once.

He used all kinds of other words like "problem" and "malignancy" and "disease," but he only said "cancer" once.

I was hoping it was a slip of the tongue.

And I haven't got a lump.

It's just sore.

Mr. Sawyer recommends that you start treatment as soon as possible.

Dr. Turner: And we will be with you every step of the way.

But I'm having a baby.

How can I feed my baby if they cut my breast off?

Oh, you won't have a mastectomy.

It isn't suitable for this kind of cancer.

The best treatment at the moment is radiotherapy.

Mr. Woodleigh?

Oh, I know that voice!

Well, I thought you was a district nurse.

I am, but I was passing by on my way home, and I thought you might like a packet of Marie biscuits.

Oh, now you're talking!

It's not much, but I thought you might not have anyone to bring you anything.

Ah, well, they're all so far away.

I'll write to 'em when I get home, tell 'em the good news.

Have you had good news?

Oh, well, not about me eyes.

They say I'll never get me sight back.

But, no, the good news will be that I'm back in my own house.

And writing letters.

A man can dream.

Yes.

W-well, what do you dream of?

I can't tell you, Mr. Woodleigh.

It might not come true otherwise.

They'll be bringing the tea soon.

You enjoy your biscuits.

Ah.

Shelagh, you ready?

Excellent!

I need another B.

You come in here between Sister Veronica and Nancy.

Right!

Everyone extend your free arm.

Dr. Turner: What are we doing?

Miss Higgins: Don't interrupt.

Shelagh: Now, Team A are going to process in a clockwise direction and Team B anticlockwise.

Am I A or B?

You're the Maypole.

Don't we all just go in the same direction?

Not according to these excellent, if not quite complicated, instructions Miss Nadine's provided.

Nancy: What do we do next?

Shelagh: If I've read this correctly, the As go underneath the Bs' extended arm.

Then the next B and so on.

Shall we give it a go?

[Upbeat music playing] Shelagh: 1, 2, 3, and!

Clockwise, Nancy!

[Thud] Sister Veronica: Ooh!

Oh!

Shelagh: Don't forget to skip!

[Laughter] Shelagh: It's not funny!

I've got to teach this to Miss Nadine's dance school.

Oh, can you not teach them the twist instead?

I know that one.

[Giggling] [Sighs] [Dog barking] Lil, Sister Julienne's here.

Have you come about the baby or about the cancer?

That's not a question anyone should have to ask, is it?

But I can answer it.

I've come about you.

First and foremost, I am your midwife, and my overwhelming concern is for your well-being and for that of the baby.

But the cancer specialist wants radiation to start within the next 2 weeks, so he's asked if the baby can be induced in hospital.

I wanted to have it here at home with Ronnie holding my hand.

An appointment has been made for you on the maternity ward at St. Cuthbert's on Monday.

I'm not ready.

I'm just not ready.

I used to have a whole routine before I went onstage.

I'd learn in my tap shoes and my ballet shoes.

I'd have a particular way of setting out everything-- eyelashes, Pan Stik, lipstick.

Getting ready was part of the performance.

And getting ready is part of this.

I'm so sorry.

We haven't even thought of a name.

[Sighs] So... no home birth for Lilian Reynolds.

Oh!

Well, I suppose that decision was made for her without consultation or agreement and certainly not with her approval.

All I could do is pass on the news as kindly as possible.

I saw this day after day when I was looking after my godmother Daphne.

It's as though cancer is this monstrous bully, this great dictator whose voice must be heard first, who must be considered before all else, and very often before the wishes of the patient.

And we're not used to that, are we?

Mmm.

The mother is at the heart of everything we do.

It's kind of you to offer to pray with us, Mrs. Wallace, but I'm not sure we should force the issue given Lucille's state of mind.

Lucille's state of mind is forcing the issue.

The girl is under spiritual attack, and you are her pastor as well as her husband.

I know I am, and that doesn't make things any easier.

All we're going to do is pray.

You don't have to anoint her.

You don't have to lay hands on her.

[Door opens] You just have to give the Holy Spirit a chance!

I have given the Holy Spirit every chance.

I have given Him the chance to make me feel welcome in this country.

[Crying] I have given Him the chance to put a child inside my body!

I have given Him opportunity after opportunity, and either He has failed me or I have failed in His grace!

That isn't possible, Lucille.

Lucille: If you think that, then you can't see me clearly, or perhaps you aren't even looking.

[Door slams] You're gonna have to come and live with us, Granddad.

Harlow is not the moon.

You don't need an oxygen helmet or even vaccinations.

I seen it on the newsreel when they built it.

There was cows.

There's more concrete now than there is down the Commercial Road.

You'll feel right at home.

Mr. Woodleigh.

Oh, is that my little foreign nurse?

[Sighs] I came to ask for your permission to admit the occupational therapist to your house so she can assess you for aids.

Eh, hear that?

My house.

No one's telling me where I can or can't live.

Not my granddaughters, not my daughters--no one!

Is this your family?

Some of us.

Ha!

My mum's gone out for a smoke in the dayroom.

I thought you didn't have any family, apart from the one who sends you the posh biscuits.

Ha!

My granddad's a bigger liar than Pinocchio.

He's got 3 daughters, 11 grandkids, including Simon, the biscuit monitor.

And these are his youngest great-grandchildren.

You all left Poplar without a backward glance.

Which suited you down to the ground.

You can't take somebody's independence off 'em if they're alone in the world.

[Simon fussing] Just hold Nicole for a minute.

I...need to get her a bottle.

Ronnie: What about Harold?

It's a good solid name.

For somebody's granddad.

I want something modern.

Paul, then.

Or John.

You can't get much more modern than a Beatle.

What if it's a girl?

How about Yoko?

Ha ha!

Ohh!

Are you in discomfort, Lilian?

Ronnie: It's them practice contractions.

She gets loads of 'em.

It's just that your blood pressure's up a tiny bit.

And that can happen when you're in labor.

Lilian: If I'm in labor, you're going to make me go to hospital.

[Traffic noise] [Crying] ♪ ♪ Nonnatus House.

Midwife speaking.

She's 4 fingers dilated already and doing well.

Sister, if we can't put her first... who will?

Aah!

Ohh!

Sister Julienne: Midwife!

May I come in?

Step right in.

Perfect timing.

Lilian's water's just broke, and we needed to change the bed.

Well done.

You're going to make me go to St. Cuthbert's now, aren't you?

Because of the cancer.

Just for tonight, the cancer is not relevant.

You're going to have the baby here.

Here?

At home?

If that's what you choose.

I do choose it.

[Lilian chuckles] [Children shouting] Sister Monica Joan: Where is Mrs. Turner?

Oh, she's caught up at work, most probably.

Most babies don't work to the same time clocks we do.

I hope she hurries up.

This is like being stuck inside a migraine.

[Shouting continues] [Thud] Cease this at once!

I came to watch a rehearsal of the Maypole dancing, not a reenactment of the Battle of Agincourt.

[Sister Monica Joan sighs] Lilian: Uhh!

Uhh!

Baby's head is advancing, Lilian.

Well done.

Ronnie: Yes!

That's my girl!

Oh, shut up.

I need to concentrate.

Another one?

[Groaning] Lilian, I'm going to apply some pressure to prevent baby's head from being born too quickly.

Now, give me a steady, steady push.

[Lilian exhales] And pant.

[Lilian panting] Hoo hoo hoo... And here's your reward.

Baby's head.

Really?

Well, done, sweetie.

Can I touch it?

Is it real?

Ahh!

Ohh!

Sister Julienne: All right.

Now use the pain.

Aah!

Uhh!

Uhh!

[Baby crying] Sister Julienne: You have a daughter.

A girl!

I told you.

The most beautiful baby I have ever seen.

[Crying] We won't be calling her Harold anyway.

She's absolute perfection.

So I can't think of a better name for her than Lilian.

[Crying continues] Lilian's old-fashioned.

It's a name from the past-- my mum's name, her mum's.

Andrea.

Andrea Lilian Reynolds.

Put Lilian in the middle, where she won't lose it.

[Children laughing] Oh!

I'm so sorry!

There was a forceps delivery!

Don't worry.

[Music playing] It all worked out.

Sister Monica Joan: 1 and 2, and 3 and 4.

That is magnificent, class.

Sister Monica Joan!

Why didn't you tell us you knew the Maypole dance?

You omitted to enquire.

Mr. Woodleigh chose to isolate himself.

It was his way of saying, "The world no longer suits me.

"It is turning in a way I do not choose, so I will stand still.

Shut the door."

I thought you said you liked him.

Perhaps he saw himself in me.

He knew I was mourning for home.

He heard it in my voice.

I hear it in your voice, see it in your eyes, even when they're closed and your lashes come halfway down your cheek.

Do you remember dancing outside in the dark when I was mending Nurse Crane's car?

I remember you picking me up on that motorbike that you borrowed for our first date.

With you in your tiny yellow dress and your giant hair.

Giant expensive hair blowing all over the place.

Got in that sidecar next to you and I thought, "This is the beginning of a journey, and I don't know where it's going to end."

And I put my foot on that kick-starter and I thought, "This is it.

I'm never getting off this ride."

I have to get better, Cyril.

In the morning, I'm going to the doctor.

Thank you.

Lilian, dear... we need you to take these pills.

What are they?

They're called Stilbestrol, and they will prevent you from lactating.

It will be better if we stop any milk flow before the radiotherapy begins.

Wouldn't be good for Andrea, would it, feeding off a breast that's diseased, never mind full of radiation.

Can I ask you a question?

I want you to.

Do you think God is punishing me?

I haven't always lived a virtuous life.

In fact, I've never lived a virtuous life.

I don't believe in a God that punishes.

The God I know is full of love.

He's got a funny way of showing it sometimes.

[Sniffles] I can fix just about anything, but I can't fix her.

I can't imagine a world without her.

[Crying] I can't imagine bringing up a baby on me own.

Please don't imagine that yet.

Lilian's about to start treatment.

And no one will tell us it's gonna cure her.

And I can't either.

But I can tell you to hope.

Men don't look after babies, not without their wives.

Oh, I promise you they do, and they do it well.

But it isn't just the baby that needs you now.

It's Lilian, too.

She hasn't stopped being your wife just because she's a mother or because she's ill.

I wish, um...

I wish I knew more about babies.

They're much less complicated than television sets, I assure you.

Heh!

Good morning, Nurse Robinson.

Oh, good morning, Miss Higgins.

Would it be possible for me to see Dr. Turner?

And what is it regarding?

Uh, I need to speak to him about something personal.

I wasn't sure if you'd put your white coat on, if you'd treat me as a physician or like a friend.

I can be either... because I'm both.

I have such a lot of friends.

Even my husband is my friend, and they've all tried to help me and got nowhere.

I think I want you to be my doctor.

That's all right.

And from everything you've told me about your feelings, even your physical symptoms-- the lethargy, the headaches-- medical intervention is what you need.

I know the way through these woods, Lucille.

Look, before we move on, I have to ask you one last thing.

Have you found yourself thinking of hurting yourself?

Yes.

Yesterday...

I went walking.

I stood by the road, and I stared at the traffic.

I stared at the road, thinking maybe it could take me home.

In what way?

If I died on it.

Cliff Richard: ♪ All my love ♪ ♪ Came to nothing at all, my love... ♪ [Trixie speaking indistinctly] ♪ When I woke up to find ♪ ♪ You were no longer mine ♪ ♪ All my love ♪ ♪ Thrown away after all this time ♪ ♪ Now there's no place for me ♪ ♪ In the future, you see ♪ ♪ I don't understand you ♪ ♪ I've done all I can do ♪ ♪ Tell me, how could I give you ♪ ♪ More, more than all my love... ♪ Is it the Valium helping her to sleep?

Rest is the best thing in this phase of a nervous breakdown.

A nervous breakdown seems like... such a big thing for her to have.

It's an overwhelming thing... but we will look after her, and it will pass.

I was afraid I would lose her.

I started to think she was already lost.

I have no doubt she thought the same, but Lucille is still inside Lucille.

And we will bring her out again.

[Door opens] Lil!

How was it?

Quick.

It might not be so bad, even if I do have to go every few days for a bit.

Oh, it feels like I've got sunburn.

That may become a little more intense over time.

Sit down and rest.

[Andrea cries] She'll need a bottle.

All in hand.

[Ronnie clears throat] Oh, and guess what.

Took her to the clinic.

She's put on 5 ounces.

You took her to the clinic for the first time without me?

Yeah, I thought-- thought I might as well get into the swing of things.

You'd think I was dead already!

[Approaching footsteps] You're getting up.

I made an appointment to get my hair done.

I'm determined to go even if I have to come straight back to bed.

Good girl, because one way or another, you're going to be wanting to look your best.

A ticket to Jamaica?!

An open return for you.

I can't go because I can't leave my job, but you have sick leave, so I took the money out of our savings.

We're saving to buy a house.

We'll have a house one day.

For now, you must go home.

Before you ask, I'm not going anywhere nice.

I just want to look...better, better enough so people stop treating me like I'm on my way out.

Lilian.

I know my chances aren't good, but just for now, I'm not gonna ask you any more about them.

Lilian, I am so sorry if we were overstepping the mark.

We only meant to help.

Look at me.

That was me!

I gave it all up to be a mother, and I was glad to.

The cancer has taken more than that, and it's not gonna stop until it's taken everything.

I understand-- You don't!

How could you possibly understand?

You threw away everything that made you a woman.

You didn't want it.

Covered it up.

You denied it!

And what I can't deny is how much I have hurt you.

I can only beg for your forgiveness.

[Sniffling] You look like a woman in great want of a galvanizing beverage.

I hid a Swiss roll at the back of the larder.

Lilian's needs are very complex, Sister.

You mustn't exhaust yourself trying to care for her.

It's never a burden to love or give.

I know that.

That doesn't mean it isn't tiring.

And it doesn't mean that I don't make mistakes.

[Metal clanking] Shelagh: No, to the left a bit.

A bit more.

A bit more.

That's it.

[Sighs] Now it's listing!

It's definitely listing to one side.

I think it needs a little more ballast at the base.

Then you will have to get that organized.

It is clearly unsafe.

In fact, it is the most perilous erection I've ever seen.

[Andrea crying loudly] [Crying continues] [Knock on door] Oh.

I've done everything I can think of.

She--she--she won't feed.

She doesn't need a fresh nappy, and... Lilian--she won't come out the bedroom.

Shh... Lilian.

Your baby needs you.

[Crying continues] She was calling for you, for her mother, and only her mother will do.

[Crying stops] I said terrible things to you.

I--I don't wish I'd led a different life, but your body, your brave, enduring body... has done unimaginable things.

And it's doing things now that...

I can only wonder at.

You do things that I can only wonder at.

[Chuckles] Thank you for helping me.

There was a stain on the skirt of the top one, but I managed to get it out in a boil wash.

I couldn't bear to put it away unless it was completely pristine.

And why doesn't that surprise me?

They'll be here waiting for you when you come home.

When I come home from going home.

Maybe it is that much of a puzzle.

For now, no one's making you choose.

I don't think I could choose anything just now.

Dr. Turner prescribed change.

Cyril bought the ticket.

Sister Julienne gave me the time off.

I feel like a parcel being posted somewhere.

Yeah.

You could choose to give in to it, choose to be loved, even.

Loved.

Choose to let the sun shine down on you.

If it does turn nippy... [Paper rustling] there's always this.

[Chuckles] Oh ho!

You finished it!

Oh, Phyllis.

Well, it's hardly a present.

You paid for the wool.

♪ ♪ Now off you pop, and finish your packing.

[Upbeat music playing] [People talking and laughing] Dr. Turner: Congratulations, madam!

Now, this... [Applause] Thank you, Maestro.

And for our next number... we have 31.

Next ticket, please.

[Applause] [Cheering and applause] And the final number is... 56.

56.

I have the ticket.

[Applause] Dr. Turner: Come and collect your prize, Sister Monica Joan!

[Chuckles] [People shouting and cheering] It's time to say your good-byes, Lucille.

[Sighs] I don't want to.

I want to go, but I don't want to leave or watch them waving.

We can slip away, just the two of us.

Like we're going on a date.

Like we're going on our first date.

[Giggling] Cyril, where did you get that from?

Let's just say someone owed me a favor.

Come on.

The sooner you get to Jamaica... [Kiss] the sooner you'll be coming back.

Cyril: Ooh... [Lucille chuckling] Just when I've had my hair done.

I love you, Nurse Robinson.

I'll fetch your bags.

Mature Jennifer: Nothing is written and no dream has a duty to come true.

Their power is to show us where the heart's desire lies and what beauty really is-- a touch, a glance, a glimpse into the future.

[Starts engine] Mature Jennifer: Lay these moments down like treasure, for when today becomes the past, we are forever what we hope for and what we must let go.

Sister Veronica: Mrs. MacKay?

Talbot: Talbot, not MacKay.

We do everything together.

Trixie: I shall soon be giving Fanny Cradock quite a run for her money.

Nurse Crane: I meant to give it to you earlier.

Woman: I could go weeks not knowing where the next meal was coming from.

The ambulance has arrived.

Please get my mum.

You were the one forcing me to talk about this.