VOICEOVER (VO): The nation's favorite celebrities... Oh, that is good.

VO: ..paired up with an expert...

I like that.

VO: ..and a classic car.

Feeling confident?

Er... VO: Their mission?

To scour Britain for antiques.

(GLASS SMASHES) Look at you.

You're really good!

VO: The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

(GASPS) Is it a find?

VO: But it's no easy ride.

XAND VAN TULLEKEN: Hey, come on!

VO: Who will find a hidden gem?

(MIMICS DUCK) Take me with you.

VO: Take the biggest risk?

Have you got a tow truck?

VO: Will anybody follow expert advice?

I might have bought rubbish.

Who knows?

VO: There will be worthy winners... Whoo!

VO: ..and valiant losers.

Come on.

Someone else!

Someone!

VO: Put your pedal to the metal!

Aah!

VO: This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

VO: Yeah!

MUSIC: "Down Down" by Status Quo VO: Salut, Surrey.

Today, we welcome Status Quo legend, Francis Rossi... # Get down Deeper and down... # VO: ..and the duchess of disco, Linda Nolan.

LINDA: You've lived in Surrey a long time, haven't you?

Yeah, I came in 1974.

And they still haven't thrown you out?

VO: Good job they're mates!

I'm looking forward to it - a little road trip.

FRANCIS: Yeah, I'm looking forward to all of it.

It's quite pleasant, it's good that you're here.

And I know you.

We know each other, yeah.

It's brilliant.

# ..down, deeper and down... # VO: Enjoying one of the longest careers in rock history, and with over 60 chart hits, Francis has been rocking all over the world with Status Quo since 1962.

Epic.

LINDA: The best three chords.

You always pick the best three.

Yeah, I know.

They say they're the same one.

VO: Ha-ha!

Our god of rock anthems will be chauffeur for the enchanting Linda Nolan.

Linda and her sisters performed as the Nolans and boogied their way through the '70s and '80s, with a string of disco hits.

LINDA: So do you know anything about antiques?

FRANCIS: No, not really.

You like what you like.

Curios and such.

I don't know.

I don't know what I'm going to take to.

Me neither.

I mean, the only thing antique I know is you!

VO: Hey, cheeky!

MUSIC: "I'm in the Mood for Dancing" by The Nolans # ..dancing, romancing... # You, then, could be my favorite antique!

What about that?!

Might have to have a good look at you and all of that.

See if you've got a maker's mark on your bum!

BOTH: (LAUGH) Nearly went in the ditch then!

VO: No wonder!

VO: Ooh.

Who's that in a 1967 Triumph TR4A?

Ha-ha!

It's only Philip "the Smiler" Serrell, and Glasgow's gavel-basher, Natasha Raskin Sharp.

NATASHA (NS): Are you often in the mood for dancing?

I'm not really a jigger.

Once you get this lot moving, it takes a hell of a long time to stop it all.

VO: No comment.

NS: I have seen you on the dance floor, Phil!

You have some moves!

Yeah.

Most are involuntary.

NS: I... (LAUGHS) VO: Crumbs.

Are these two rock and rollers?

PHIL: Quo have played Worcester Rugby Club.

I was there!

I was there.

That's really cool.

And tell me... your analysis of said gig?

Ah... Well, I'm slightly biased, because I think Quo are brilliant.

NS: So you loved it?

PHIL: Yeah.

I do.

VO: I think we have a Quo number one fan in our midst.

And what of the super-cool 1972 Jaguar E-Type?

I had a 3.8 saloon Jag in... LINDA: Oh, did you?

FRANCIS: ..the late '60s.

Yeah.

I've never driven one of these before and it is quite...

It is, when they say classic cars, it is gorgeous...

The leather and all of that.

VO: It might be all chummy-wummy just now, but who wants to win?

FRANCIS: It'd be nice to think, "Oh, if I win, if one wins..." but I think it's more about the experience and the day out, really.

Oh, you really are getting old, Francis.

"I am getting..." What do you mean, getting old?

I am old!

LINDA: (CHUCKLES) VO: It's all about the taking part, eh, Francis?

An almighty stage dive into the counties of Surrey and Sussex beckons, before the big showdown at an auction in Worcestershire.

But first, we're all heading to Farnham for fun and frolics.

Lordy.

(CAR HORN TOOTLES) (CAR HORN TOOTLES) (CAR HORN TOOTLES) LINDA: (GASPS) We're here.

We're here!

VO: Nice horn!

Are you going to turn it off?

I'm going to!

VO: Oh, they do like to bicker.

LINDA: I can't get out now!

VO: Come on, Linda!

LINDA: Good Lord!

VO: This family biz is housed in two Elizabethan barns and has been on the go for nearly 30 years.

FRANCIS: They'd better be good, these experts.

LINDA: They will be.

VO: Alright, Francis.

They're the creme de la creme, you know.

Now, take a look in here.

Both chums each have a sum of £400.

I've now touched a dusty table.

I used to know him.

He was... (LAUGHS) He was a drummer with ZZ Top or something.

No, that's Dusty, wasn't it?

He was a bass player.

VO: Dusty was a legend.

LINDA: Oh, it's Louis Vuitton!

I wonder how much it is.

(GASPS) Oh!

Two thou...!

VO: Champagne tastes, Linda.

Let's find our antiques gurus.

LINDA: It's me!

PHIL: Oh, hello!

How are you?

LINDA: (CHUCKLES) I'm good!

PHIL: How are you doing?

I'm so thrilled it's you...

Honest to God.

LINDA: I'm not just saying that.

PHIL: Oh, shut up!

You're going to make me blush.

VO: Phil's actually smiling.

I'm so thrilled it's you.

PHIL: Oh, well, likewise here, my love.

So we've got to try and beat that Rossi bloke...

Absolutely.

Shall we go and see if we can find something?

LINDA: I'm...

I'm with you all the way on this.

LINDA: I need your advice!

PHIL: Oh, Lord, help us.

LINDA: (LAUGHS) PHIL: Come on!

LINDA: Following you!

VO: Where's the rummaging Rossi?

NS: Francis, grab a seat.

FRANCIS: Mm-hm.

NS: It's great to meet you.

Actually, look, I'm looking at everything now, in case I think, "Ooh!"

NS: I'm sitting next to this little portable gramophone, and I'm thinking... "Are we going to go down the musical route "on this trip?"

No, not necessarily.

As soon as I saw it, I remember somewhere having those, perhaps my parents did, but, and it beca...

I find it a piece of interest anyhow.

The records, those plastic records.

We probably smashed my parents' entire record collection up... Do you think that's where the rock and roll behavior started?

Yeah, I think!

I don't know!

But I do find that interesting.

VO: Let's leave the rebel front man to mooch.

Elsewhere, in this cavernous barn... LINDA: (WHISPERS) What's this?

(CALLS) Phil?

PHIL: Yes, my love.

What do you think... What do you think this is?

Or do you know?

PHIL: Well, I know what it is.

LINDA: Do you?!

PHIL: Yeah, cuz I'm into all that stuff.

It's a nutmeg-grater.

Probably 19th century.

So...nutmeg was quite a thing that you would use to spice various drinks and meals or whatever.

LINDA: Yeah.

VO: In the 18th century, gentlemen would carry a pocket-sized nutmeg-grater, to add to their fave tipple of a big glass of punch.

Because it's spring-loaded... LINDA: Yeah.

..it presses the nutmeg down onto the grater.

Oh, how fabulous!

PHIL: So that would then fit in your pocket.

LINDA: It says it is...£38.

Is it popular, though?

Do you think we would make money?

I think that sort of stuff is quite popular.

Well, it's the first thing we've seen.

So what I think we should do is... LINDA: Have a look around.

PHIL: Yeah, have a look around.

PHIL: But we will remember it.

LINDA: I think it's grate!

VO: I see what you did there, Linda!

Cunning.

FRANCIS: Stay there.

LINDA: As I live... Don't you creep up on me like that.

LINDA: Where have you been?

Looking at stuff.

I don't know.

How is your expert?

Is she lovely?

FRANCIS: She's advising me well, which is why I haven't spent anything yet.

Because...we're either going to let you win... "Let me win!"

Yeah.

Right.

FRANCIS: No, we, think about it.

LINDA: Absolutely.

Think about it because I will win.

Make any excuse you like, mate.

My expert Phil is fabulous.

And we're getting on like a house on fire.

She's got not a chance.

She's had it.

VO: Ha-ha!

Easy, you two.

She's finished.

Right...

I've spotted this, by the way, which I kind of like, because, I mean, only does it interest me, that...

It reminded me of Glasgow.

The old Green's Playhouse, the Apollo it became.

But there was no running water in there, so they gave you this bowl.

I don't think anybody in rock and roll ever did wash. NS: So when did you play the Apollo in Glasgow?

Was it before the old King died, or... No, we started doing the Apollo in the late '60s, and I think the last time would have been...

..I don't know, not long before they knocked it down.

We did a famous live album there.

Three nights there and... Ah, Quo history.

VO: Loving it, Francis.

NS: You know that this isn't worth very much.

I can tell you it's worth about £20 at auction.

It's not going to excite anyone.

FRANCIS: The brush marks and stuff, I always find that really weird.

My dad used to do ice-cream vans like that, and they'd be a mess!

Were you expected to go into the ice-cream business?

FRANCIS: Yes.

Yes... NS: You were?

I had the ice-cream van on order.

Really?!

And I passed my driving test on the 20th December '67.

I'd got married in '67, and... ..then Matchstick Men was released in November, and went to the chart in... ..just before I took delivery of the van.

So you were meant to be ice-cream man, but it became Matchstick Man.

FRANCIS: Oh, yeah.

NS: (LAUGHS) VO: What a scoop!

PHIL: Cor blimey, Linda, have a look at this!

Oh!

What is it?

I mean, I know it's a box.

I think you could use it as a log box.

LINDA: Oh, yeah!

PHIL: You could use it as...a toy box for your kids.

LINDA: Absolutely.

PHIL: You could use it... LINDA: Know what I would use it for?

Papers, magazines?

Well, you could, but... You'd have to have a lot of magazines for that.

But I would use it for, you know, like throws, cuz my house is always cold because I've got hot flushes.

So I'd put them all in there, and as my sisters came in, I'd go, "Here, have one of those."

I love it.

I do love it, actually.

PHIL: So, in the inside, you've got old hessian sacks... LINDA: Yeah, I love that smell.

PHIL: Yeah, it's great.

PHIL: ..that coffee came in.

You've got a leather roll around here.

LINDA: Yeah.

And then on the outside, you've got kilim rugs.

So kilim rugs, they don't have specific designs, but they've got this kind of geometric pattern on them and you can see it runs all the way around.

LINDA: Yeah.

VO: It's said the very first carpets resemble the flat-weaved design of the Middle-Eastern kilim rug.

PHIL: So, this is made new.

It's not necessarily an antique, but it's in the antique style.

And the thing about the world today is that, when I started, you sold antiques.

Nowadays, you sell a look.

PHIL: Now, here's the rub.

LINDA: Oh... PHIL: It's 250 squid.

Right?

LINDA: Really, that's... Well, that's a lot, isn't it, with what we've got.

PHIL: What do you reckon?

LINDA: Well, you think it would sell, do you?

LINDA: Are they popular?

PHIL: Well...

I think it'll sell cuz I've never seen one like this before, I think it's got a really good look.

But we need to get it down in price, so.. What do you...?

Can we still get the nutmeg thing as well?

PHIL: You want to buy that as well?

Well, I love the nutmeg thing.

I think it's just so cute!

Well, I'll tell you what I think.

If you could get... ..the nutmeg-grater... ..and this, for between... ..120 and 140 quid, that would be absolutely fantastic.

Well, I'll have to get the old Blarney out, won't I?

Have you kissed the Blarney Stone?

I have... Well, my father said I swallowed it!

(LAUGHS) VO: Let's put it to the test, Linda-Lou!

Both items have a combo price of £288.

Stand by, Hillary.

Let's start with the nutmeg-grater at 38.

What do you think you could do that for?

HILLARY: 34.

LINDA: 34?

Well, you wouldn't... you wouldn't do it for 30, would you?

It's a nice round, even number, 30.

It is indeed, isn't it?

Well...as it's you...

I think I could just do it.

That is fabulous!

VO: Bravo!

And the kilim racked box?

Could you do 120?

Yeah, let me think about that.

Well, it does take up floor space... LINDA: You see what we're doing for you?

We're giving you more space.

You should be paying us, really.

Yes, because we...haven't got any space!

No, absolutely!

Yeah, I can make it 120.

Oh, you star, thank you so much.

That's amazing... Pay the lady, quick!

Before she changes her mind.

That's my first!

My first... Oh, gosh!

LINDA: Yes!

I'm so excited!

HILLARY: Your first purchase!

LINDA: Thank you so much.

I love you.

And we will be back.

VO: 150 for the two.

Hillary, you are indeed very generous.

With £250 left, Linda and Philpot hit the road.

Come on, Phil, I've got our little nutmeg-grinder.

PHIL: Really pleased with that...

I know, it's fabulous, isn't it?

If you could just bring the box... VO: Yeah, get him working, Linda.

PHIL: Thanks a bunch.

LINDA: It's not that heavy... LINDA: Hurry up!

PHIL: (HUMPHS) I wanted Francis Rossi.

VO: Now, now, Philip.

Back inside, do we have anything yet from the Rossi contingent?

NS: I found this cabinet...

It's quite unassuming, but there are a few things, I wonder if you'll like them, I've pulled them out.

So... Rossi is associated not just with music... NS: ..but ice cream, you said.

FRANCIS: Yes.

NS: Have you ever heard of these, penny licks?

Well, I have and I haven't.

I thought it was a Scottish thing or...

I did!

FRANCIS: A Scottish thing.

NS: A penny lick?

FRANCIS: Yeah!

NS: (LAUGHS) No.

Grab one of those... Two different shapes, but exact same purpose.

Take your penny lick to the ice-cream vendor, perhaps the Rossi of this world, and then fill it with ice cream.

They're always illusions, so it looks as though you have a little bit more ice cream than you actually had, but only a penny's worth.

And then you lick out the ice cream, and then you'd take it home.

FRANCIS: But surely at that time, that'd be quite a bit of ice cream, wouldn't it?

You're quite right, so a luxury little item.

VO: The introduction of the waffle cone replaced these little glasses at the beginning of the 20th century.

If it were around £20, 25, I think that would be... ..maybe a £5 or a £10 profit.

But obviously nothing's guaranteed.

I like the idea cuz it's something I like and I think if we can go with something I like, it'd be good.

NS: That would be good!

VO: Whatever you want.

Ha-ha!

Sorry...

Both glasses come to a total of £42, but she's not done yet!

NS: The next thing's a toddy ladle.

That's very light because it's fruitwood and it's the perfect size of ladle to scoop up a wee tot of toddy.

FRANCIS: OK, now, I like that because the lightness of it... What'd you say, it's fruitwood?

It's a fruitwood, so really light.

And I think it has some age... FRANCIS: Oh, that's delightful.

NS: I think it's either late 18th or early 19th century.

So it's a Georgian toddy ladle, beautifully turned... VO: Punch, or toddy, was widely popular and the toddy ladle was designed to deliver the right amount into a punch or toddy glass.

Blimey!

I think they've got more than one ladle, look!

Price, please, Francis!

FRANCIS: 68...?

NS: 68... OK, OK... NS: There would have to be a wee bit of a negotiation, but it's just so nicely done, that knop on the handle and then the finial...

It's really nicely done.

VO: Stand by, Hillary!

NS: (WHISPERS) Just ask for the best price.

(CALLS) Hillary?

FRANCIS: (WHISPERS) Best price... NS: Francis is going to take the lead.

Can you give me your best price?

Cuz I'm not good with haggling...

I'm sure you'd be wonderful at it, bit of practice... VO: Let's start with the penny licks at £42.

HILLARY: We can make it...32.

You happy to go with that?

32?

I think we're safe-ish... FRANCIS: That's good then.

Yes, 32.

NS: We'll go with those.

FRANCIS: Good so far.

VO: And the toddy ladle at 68?

Going straight for the kill, I can come down to... VO: Blimey, Hillary.

HILLARY: ..40.

NS: Oh... NS: I think we take a risk.

FRANCIS: It's still good.

Yes.

NS: You love that.

FRANCIS: I do.

NS: You're digging it.

FRANCIS: I like him 'specially.

VO: That £72 purchase leaves you with a wad of £328 going forward.

Thank you very much.

FRANCIS: You coming?

NS: Yes, yes, yes, wait for me.

Come on, then, let's go.

NS: Let me just pop these in the boot.

I can't believe I'm going to drive Francis Rossi in a Jaguar.

VO: Living the dream, Tasha.

NS: Here she goes!

FRANCIS: You show-off!

NS: See you later!

FRANCIS: Show-off!

FRANCIS: You are a show-off!

VO: I'm missing new best friends Linda and Phil.

Ah, there they are.

PHIL: Other than Philip Serrell, who would you say are the greatest people that you've worked with?

OK, who's Philip Serrell?

PHIL: No, no one knows, mate.

I tell you.

PHIL: No-one's heard of him.

LINDA: I know!

Well, if I just said Frank Sinatra... What, you've worked with Frank Sinatra?

LINDA: Yeah, we toured with Frank Sinatra...

I don't believe that!

Really?!

LINDA: (LAUGHS) In 1975, we did two week... PHIL: Old blue eyes?

LINDA: Yeah.

He called us his daughters.

And... And it was fab.

I was 15.

Bernie was 13.

Colleen didn't come because she wanted to be at home with the horses.

She said biggest mistake she ever made.

We had a 60-piece orchestra, you know.

One of my favorites was a song that our dad used to sing called 'Beautiful'.

Yeah.

Really gorgeous song, yeah.

It was great!

VO: Start spreading the news!

Linda and Phil have motored to the town of Weybridge.

We're at Brooklands, the birthplace of British motor racing.

Over a century ago, an Edwardian husband and wife team devoted their all to creating a world first, right here in Surrey.

Mechanical engineer Roger Horsfield can tell all about the track that placed Britain firmly on the map as a world leader, not only in motor racing, but also in the development of the early automobile.

LINDA: Hi, Roger.

ROGER: Hi, Linda.

Hi, Phil.

Welcome to Brooklands Museum, the first purpose-built motor racing track in this country.

VO: Brooklands was the brainchild of Edwardian high-society couple Hugh Locke King and his wife Ethel.

Motoring mavericks, they were dedicated to keeping British pride intact on the world automotive stage.

ROGER: This is Daisy.

So if you'd like to sit on up in the driving seat.

LINDA: Oh, brilliant.

VO: A two-seater Siddeley, Daisy was Ethel's pride and joy.

LINDA: Does it work still?

Occasionally, when it starts.

This works.

Watch.

(HORN PARPS) That's it!

VO: Blimey.

The year was 1906.

Britain had an enforced 20-mile-an-hour speed limit on public roads, and there was nowhere to test and develop... ..placing the British auto industry at a competitive disadvantage.

ROGER: Hugh Locke King owned the whole estate round here, and he realized that the French, and particularly the Europeans, in motorcar development were streets ahead of us.

They were allowed to stage motor races, etc, there was no speed limit... VO: At the time, French car manufacturers were churning out nearly half of all the cars in the world.

Hugh and Ethel hatched a plan.

ROGER: Britain needed a track, purpose-built track, which would have a high speed.

VO: With an estate covering 330 acres of farm and woodland, they had plenty of room to start building right there.

The two-and-three-quarter-mile circuit would need two huge banked sections, nearly 30 feet high, to ensure the highest possible speeds with the greatest possible safety.

The concrete track would be 100 feet wide, including two long straights.

About 120mph.

In theory, you could take your hands off the wheel, and the car would just go around.

But, because the track was so bumpy, in fact, they had to hang on like mad.

And a lot of the drivers had to wear corsets, because it would shake their insides up and down so much.

VO: This outstanding feat of engineering was built on marshy ground in only nine months, but it cost Hugh his personal fortune, a sum equal to £16 million today.

Staggering!

The thing was, it nearly bankrupted him, and I think he had a nervous, sort of, breakdown.

And Ethel came to the fore and before the days of project management, she stepped in and actually project-managed it and she had to borrow money from a brother to... ..get the project to completion stage.

That's amazing.

VO: Excitement brewed - for the first time, Britain could really enter the world stage in the development of the motorcar.

It was very much a place to be seen, a bit like the Ascot of its time.

Oh, really?

The slogan was "the right crowd and no crowding".

And it was a lot of the rich people who had the money to be able to buy the cars and race, and there was very much a social scene here.

VO: The first British Grand Prix took place here in 1926, but Brooklands would host its last race at the onset of World War II.

This two-and-three-quarter-mile circuit isn't just motor racing's most important piece of heritage, it witnessed the birth of a great British industry.

ROGER: Without it, a lot of the traditional British firms - Bentley, Lagonda and all the rest - they just wouldn't have been able to develop as much as they did do, and also then compete against the foreign countries when they go to the Grand Prix, etc... LINDA: Oh, wow.

..in France and all across there.

VO: Now, how about a spin in Daisy?

I feel a bit like Dick Dastardly.

VO: I hope you've got your corset on, Phil.

Ha-ha... LINDA: Go!

ROGER: Here we go!

We're off!

VO: Wise choice, staying on the sidelines, Linda.

ROGER: That's incredibly bumpy.

Oh, swerve the trees!

That's why you wear the goggles!

(LAUGHS) PHIL: Oh, my life!

ROGER: (LAUGHS) VO: Now...let's leave the fun of Wacky Races... ..over in the slinky Jag... FRANCIS: ..we used to have a keyboard player had one of these in the s... ..'60s.

NS: Had one of these?!

FRANCIS: Yeah.

NS: Oh, cool... FRANCIS: And it was yellow.

FRANCIS: And if he took us a lift anywhere, he'd go... "Can...can you...help with the petrol?"

FRANCIS: So...

Honestly... NS: Hand outs!

You had to give him a couple of shillings to help with his gallon of petrol cuz they were juicy.

But, yeah, they're a magnificent car.

VO: Yeah, she's a beaut!

Francis and Natasha have traveled to the village of Byfleet.

One Man's Junk - sounds very rock n' roll - is next on the shopping hit list.

FRANCIS: ..Be alright now, just going in... Get in there.

VO: This looks a tidy number - a family biz crammed with curios.

There's plenty to delve into.

Francis and Natasha have £328 weighing down their pockets.

FRANCIS: Mm... NS: What have you found?

FRANCIS: One of these early jobbies, look.

This is before the one my dad had.

This is the one he bought my uncle.

NS: Oh, now, that's quite sweet, isn't it?

FRANCIS: Yeah!

Sometimes...we can get a bit carried away with items like this because we really buy into the sentimental nature of them.

FRANCIS: Yeah, but... NS: But at auction... NS: .. quite often, these can surprise you and be, you know, sort of £15, £20, max.

NS: So... FRANCIS: Francis... (SCOFFS) VO: Hey, I'm the one that does the jokes around here, Rossi.

Yeah, my brother's Max, actually.

So you're getting me confused with your brother now?

We're going to have to start again.

She's just lost it!

It's just... She needs to... (MUMBLES) Get rid of her.

Get rid of her, quick.

Yeah, but it's worth a go, no?

NS: We don't want to dive in too quickly.

FRANCIS: OK. VO: They're a feisty pair.

The rummage continues!

NS: Do you know what this is for?

Oh, to... fumigate something, then?

NS: So close.

It is to... make bees more subdued.

FRANCIS: Oh, fantastic!

NS: It's for apiarists... ..so, beekeepers, and they smoke the bees, so they can go in and look at what's going on.

It doesn't have a price on it.

What if you paid a fiver for it?

What if you paid £8 for it?

We could make a wee profit.

Let me sort you out.

Yeah, but it's missing me completely... NS: (LAUGHS) VO: Oh.

It's like it's alive!

Anything else?

NS: I think what you have there is something just slightly more exciting than the cinefilm.

Is it Zeiss?

Is that right?

FRANCIS: Yeah, it's Zeiss.

VO: This Zeiss Ikon folding camera is from the 1930s, a favorite of Margaret Bourke-White, the first female photojournalist of Life magazine in 1936.

NS: I just think it's a smart thing... ..that would make more money at auction.

NS: I'm sure of it.

FRANCIS: Done.

It just looks lovely.

Have you seen a price tag?

FRANCIS: 496...?

NS: No, it's not £400... FRANCIS: No, it's £100, I believe.

NS: Oh, it's 100?

OK, well...

When it comes to this market, you want to go with a big name like Zeiss.

NS: Oh, are you ready?!

You've definitely sold it to me.

FRANCIS: We're going for the camera and...?

Well, maybe the bee-smoker.

I mean, I don't want you to pay any more than £10 for the bee-smoker.

So if it's more than that, don't buy it, but if you want to...

It's up to you!

VO: Coo-ee, Matt!

Give me a decent price on this.

Let's get it down there, my son.

VO: Get it... # Down, down... # ..surely?

Make me feel secure.

VO: It's the Zeiss camera priced at £100.

MATT: 70 quid.

FRANCIS: (GRUMBLES) Aw... No, go on, give us...60, go on.

MATT: 60... FRANCIS: Yeah.

MATT: OK. FRANCIS: Yes?

MATT: Yeah.

NS: Hold on, I'm still in shock.

NS: Are you sure, at £60?!

MATT: That's fine.

VO: And the vintage copper bee-smoker?

You can have the bee-smoker at a tenner.

NS: Oh, that's so generous!

But do you want the bee smoker?

Well, I do now!

NS: You want it?

So 60 and 10?

FRANCIS: Right.

NS: OK!

NS: Matt, thank you so much!

MATT: Pleasure.

That's really generous.

Thank you.

Well, why don't you grab the bee-smoker?

I'll grab this and I'll meet you at the car!

VO: Our two amigos now have £258 remaining.

Frances # l-l-l-likes that # Ooh, whoa, sorry... Shopping is now over.

LINDA: # I'm in the mood for dancing # Romancing # Ooh, I'm giving it all tonight... # Singing for you, baby.

PHIL: That's cool, that's cool.

LINDA: Well, you know... See, I can sing to Les Dawson's piano playing.

Well, there you go.

Fabulous.

Equally marvelous.

FRANCIS: I never thought I'd like a licky glass.

FRANCIS: What do you call it?

NS: A penny lick!

And a toddy ladle!

Leedle-eedle-eedle... "Will you welcome Toddy Ladle?"

"Thank you."

"Toddy Ladle and his punk men..." VO: I think Phil listens to them.

Ha-ha-ha!

Nighty night!

VO: Good morning, sunny Sussex!

When I met Brian, of course, and he knew you, my husband Brian, and he knew you, it was really big.

"Oh, my God, we're going to meet Status Quo."

And we were, felt really special because we were up on the Sound... (SHEEP BLEATS IN THE BACKGROUND) That's a cow mooing, by the way, not me!

Did you hear that cow?

VO: That's a funny-looking cow.

LINDA: Can you hear it?

FRANCIS: It is!

I thought, "What's the matter with her?"

VO: Moo-ving on... FRANCIS: I really liked the Nolans.

I like the idea of their harmonies.

My favorite track was... Gotta Pull... # Honey, I gotta stop # Gotta start picking up # Gotta to pull myself together MUSIC: "Gotta Pull Myself Together" by The Nolans # Now that we ain't makin' up... # That was... That's always been your favorite song?

I still...

I still love the track.

LINDA: Aw.

VO: Ha-ha-ha.

VO: And what of Phil and Tasha?

PHIL: So, I'm disappointed we haven't got the TR4, cuz I liked that.

NS: Don't be disappointed.

What's a TR4, or a Triumph Herald between friends?

All that matters is that we have one another, Phil, and some new friends!

Absolutely right.

Are you and Linda firm friends?

PHIL: Ah, she's lovely.

NS: So sweet.

Yeah, she is absolutely lovely.

And what about Francis?

Oh, well, I think I'm going on the next tour.

PHIL: Really?

NS: I mean, we are bezzies.

VO: We're all keen as mustard!

Let's have a cheeky peek at yesterday's spoils.

LINDA: Now, tell me, Francis.

FRANCIS: Yes?

What have you got here?

Have you only bought two things?

Well, these... No!

VO: No.

Wishful thinking, Linda.

Francis has been rockin' all over the antiques 'hood, splashing £142 on four items.

FRANCIS: You've definitely sold it to me.

VO: But Linda and Philip...

I think it's great.

VO: ..despite purchasing just the two lovely lots... ..they spent more than Rossi - £150.

I love it.

Thank you.

LINDA: Well, Francis, these two are yours, what are they?

FRANCIS: Well, these were found by Natasha, I must admit.

But... LINDA: Do you know what they look like?

They look like little shot glasses!

FRANCIS: They do, I thought they were, but they're a penny lick.

You would get these from an ice cream retailer... LINDA: Oh!

FRANCIS: ..give you a lick... LINDA: How good is that, though, for your...connection?

See, she thought about me.

They were 32, I believe.

LINDA: For the two?

FRANCIS: For the two.

LINDA: Oh brilliant.

You've bought a camera!

FRANCIS: Now, this is the camera.

This is a Zeiss.

They're renowned for their lenses.

Yeah.

They wanted 100 and I got him for 60, so I was very pleased.

Oh, that's good!

FRANCIS: Even Natasha was fairly pleased with me.

LINDA: This is a nutmeg-grinder.

Isn't it cute, though?

Look!

Oh, yes.

We like this.

LINDA: So you put the nut in there, put the nut in there, then you put it in your handbag or... Well, you haven't got a handbag.

The nutmeg was £38 ticket price.

I got it for £30.

My other thing that we bought was a big box like this.

Fabulous.

And you can literally use it as a log box, or, you know, put cushions in it or papers, and the box - the ticket price was 250 and I got it for 120!

FRANCIS: Well, you scored.

LINDA: Absolutely!

LINDA: How do you feel?

FRANCIS: You're like that.

Better than you.

But, you know, places to go, people to see, more antiques to buy.

We've got more to buy, yes.

FRANCIS: Thank you, Michael.

LINDA: Nice.

Let's go!

LINDA: Come on.

Let's go for it, mate.

VO: Francis has very kindly dropped off Linda in the seaside resort of Hove.

Is that Phil?

Ha-ha!

Sir Laurence Olivier was once a famous resident here.

But today, Linda and Phil are hunting for antiques in this fine establishment.

LINDA: Eclectic.

What does that mean?

PHIL: I'm eclectic, I think.

LINDA: Well, OK.

Isn't that "electricity" spelled wrong?

LINDA: I... Is this for a kid... A child's bureau?

No, no.

It's a kind of little desk.

It's got a special name.

I know what it is, actually.

What?

You're going to be very impressed with this.

I think it's maybe a late-Victorian davenport.

How'd you know that?

Cuz it's written on the side.

(LAUGHS) Could we afford any of these?

PHIL: Dream on, dream on.

LINDA: (LAUGHS) VO: This lovely biz has been on the go for over a decade, and is crammed with delights.

Showbiz!

VO: Linda has 250 big ones left to spend.

Do you like that flag?

Well... What...?

What is it?

VO: Come on, sell it to her, Phil!

PHIL: It's an ensign.

LINDA: Oh, off a ship.

PHIL: Yeah.

And you've got the Union flag, top corner.

LINDA: Yeah.

I think it's quite a cool thing.

VO: Until 1864, ships of the Royal Navy were divided into three squadrons and flew the red, white or blue ensign to indicate their squadron.

LINDA: It is cool.

I'm just wondering, where would you put it?

Who do you think would buy that?

Maybe a pub or something would put it on the wall.

A pub called the Ship would be ideal, wouldn't it?

Oh, my Lord!

That would be a great idea.

It would be...make a quite a cool wall-hanging.

That's what I was saying, but you'd have to have a big wall.

PHIL: Absolutely.

Um... LINDA: I've spotted something that I was drawn to like a magpie.

Go on, then, what?

LINDA: This little thing here, look.

You've got a good eye.

LINDA: Have I?!

PHIL: Yeah, you have.

LINDA: Is that good?

PHIL: Yeah.

In a word, yeah.

PHIL: This is a 19th century, hallmarked silver christening tankard.

Oh, I thought it might be something like that.

You've got a gilded interior.

LINDA: Yeah.

This is called a little armorial here.

So if this was Linda Nolan, you might have LN on there.

And then your date of birth, in 1987.

LINDA: Oh, how gorgeous!

I love that!

PHIL: Yeah.

LINDA: 1987?!

That 20 quid was worth it!

VO: He's a charmer, alright.

But that's...

I think that's really sweet.

LINDA: Do you?

PHIL: Yeah, I do.

LINDA: How much is it?

It's 125, and it's worth, at auction, probably... ..£60, £70.

(GASPS) The thing about silver, you see, the price of silver goes up and down, up and down.

And two or three years ago, it might have been £8 to £10 an ounce.

Last year, it might have been £15 to £20 an ounce.

I do like that.

Especially now you've told me what it is, and it's beautiful.

The thing about the flag is, with your advice, I would go, but because we're in a competition... ..what's going to make us the most money?

Well, there is another option - buy both of them.

Oh... You little devil!

VO: Looks like we're plumping for the two!

Oh, Dan?

We just need to know, actually, what is your best price for the flag?

DAN: Yeah.

LINDA: And...then the cup.

And then what you would do together?

So I can do it at 175, the two.

LINDA: (INHALES SHARPLY) How about that, yeah?

LINDA: I'm looking at you!

What do you think?

What's your very best, Dan?

170.

Shall we go for it?

LINDA: I do love the little cup.

PHIL: Yeah, go on, buy it.

PHIL: So what we're going to say is, the flag's £80.

DAN: Yeah.

And the little christening mug is £90.

Yeah?

DAN: Yeah.

LINDA: Well, here you go.

Thank you so much.

I'm so happy.

£170.

VO: Well done, Linda.

You now have £80 remaining.

Next stop, beauteous Brighton!

We're alighting here.

Mind the gap.

NS: Oh, here it is!

VO: Aptly located below Brighton's main terminus, this museum is a nod to the golden age of model railways.

NS: Are you so excited?

FRANCIS: I am.

NS: I'm excited for you.

VO: Home to one of the most popular train model-makers of the 20th century, Bassett-Lowke.

Their exceptional precision for detail was so spectacular that they helped win two world wars.

FRANCIS: Oh, this is lovely.

VO: We're meeting with museum founder, and model restorer extraordinaire, Christopher Littledale.

Chris, you must be Chris.

CHRIS: I am.

Hello.

NS: Hi, Chris!

FRANCIS: Nice to meet you.

CHRIS: Hello!

Thank you for having us.

Isn't this amazing?

FRANCIS: Yes, it's amazing.

Stunned.

NS: As soon as we walked in here, your eyes just lit up.

And what does this mean to you?

It's just, you know, I'm kind of nostalgic, and so I've always been fascinated with railways and model railways.

You get kind of... like a child again.

NS: What age are you in your mind right now?

About five.

VO: I don't blame you.

VO: This is a mecca for any railway enthusiast.

Let's hop aboard the express to the early 20th century.

Toot-toot!

CHRIS: Britain was the greatest market.

Britain was very wealthy, particularly before the First World War.

It was probably one of the wealthiest countries in the world, if not the wealthiest.

And of course, you had the train nuts who wanted engines they remembered - Great Northern Railway, London and Northwestern Railway.

And Britain was a great railway country.

Remember, we were the precursor of the railway.

VO: WJ Bassett-Lowke, a boilermaker's son from Northampton, had a love of all things engineering, in particular model railways.

The company Bassett-Lowke, began in 1899, specializing in model railways, boats and ships.

Basically were more importers of things made in Germany, mainly.

FRANCIS: Ah, I see.

CHRIS: And beautifully made.

CHRIS: They went to things like the Leipzig Toy Fair, where they showed their lovely models.

VO: At the beginning of the Great War, all model-making stopped.

But Bassett-Lowke had an army of artisans that put their skills to good use.

CHRIS: Bassett-Lowke were very famous for making recognition models for the Forces... FRANCIS: Ah, yes!

CHRIS: ..so that new recruits... ..coming into the army or whatever could know what various naval ships looked like, whether it was one of ours or one of theirs.

And, of course, in the next war they got even more involved.

So both wars, Bassett-Lowke were pushed into war work.

VO: After the war, Bassett-Lowke were renowned for their quality workmanship, but ceased trading in 1965, largely due to the introduction of plastics and cheaper model engines.

NS: Very few people are allowed into your workshop.

But we've also heard that you might be making a special...dispensation.

Let's see what we can do.

Ah, here we are.

VO: Chris's inner sanctum awaits.

CHRIS: I'm going to direct you.

What is it that you have Francis doing?

Francis is putting the bogey assembly back onto the front of this Duchess of Montrose locomotive.

FRANCIS: Oh, that's a posh... NS: You're the train people.

What on earth is a bogey?

Now, the bogey is the front wheels, which take some of the weight of a real engine off of the big wheels.

FRANCIS: On goes the washer.

CHRIS: Right.

Just on top of the spring.

Why's my tongue like that?

CHRIS: I don't know.

(LAUGHS) That's cuz you're concentrating.

Yeah.

Now the bogey.

FRANCIS: This is obviously a very posh train.

Could you tell us a little bit...

This is one of Bassett-Lowke's more expensive models.

Duchess of Montrose is its name, one of the LMS railway, which was the London, Midland and Scottish, one of their major, big passenger engines.

And they used to haul trains from Euston up to Glasgow.

They were very, very powerful, and the model is a beauty.

Nice run, that would be... CHRIS: Yes.

Yeah, oh, fabulous.

CHRIS: Fantastic.

NS: I've done it many's a time.

NS: Many's a time!

CHRIS: Ah, right.

Well, you have the accent to go with it.

Let me tell you, it's a lovely run.

That's all put on.

FRANCIS: South London, mostly.

CHRIS: Ah, really?

VO: And with Chris's kind permission... ..it's time to see the beauties in action.

FRANCIS: (HUMS TRIUMPHANTLY) NS: Look at that!

FRANCIS: Oh, look at that!

It sounds good too now.

Oh, look at me, picking up speed!

FRANCIS: Hey-hey!

Come on, girl!

NS: Here she comes.

Come on, Duchess.

NS: Chris, we're so grateful for that.

We both are, aren't we?

But I have a feeling that if I don't drag Francis away now, we could be here for hours.

And, Francis, we do still have some buying to do.

VO: Spoilsport.

WJ Bassett-Lowke created a model railway company that quickly became associated with a hallmark of refinement and accuracy.

One man's passion built a little-known company that helped play a vital part in both world wars.

Now, where are Linda and Phil?

Well, you'd never guess they're also in Brighton - the backdrop to Abba's Eurovision success, in 1974.

Their final shopping spree is taking place in here, North Lane Bazaar.

Come on, Phil.

Do you know, I think we've done really, really well.

VO: Blimey.

Where's your skateboard, Phil?

With over 50 stalls, let's see what they uncover.

PHIL: That is just dreadful.

LINDA: I know!

VO: They've notched up four items and have a grand total of £80 left.

PHIL: Do you want to win this?

LINDA: Yes.

PHIL: I really think we should try and buy an antique.

So I think what we should try and do is look for something that ticks our antique box that we try and buy as cheaply as possible.

VO: We have a plan!

These are actually quite cool.

I kind of quite like this.

It's an old cardboard laundry box.

Oh...so people put their laundry in and send it off?

PHIL: Yeah, yeah.

I mean, it's only £10.

Shall we have a think about it?

LINDA: I would never have gone, "Oh, I like that."

But then that's...that's why you're here, so I'm happy to go with it.

It's £10.

If we lose £10... PHIL: Let's see what else we can find.

Let's have another look around, see what else we can find.

VO: Good idea.

Look who's here!

NS: I don't know if they've got here before us, Francis.

Yeah, they're bound to have.

NS: You reckon?

FRANCIS: Yeah, sure they have.

Right.

Come on.

Who cares?

It's our time to shine.

Oh, shine away, shine away.

VO: Francis has a wallet filled with £258.

FRANCIS: I don't like it...much.

NS: You don't like it?

VO: Not that he wants to spend it!

FRANCIS: No, that has no interest at all to me.

VO: Ah, he's hit a wall.

NS: When you see stuff like this and you think of West Germany and East Germany, did you go into East Germany and play?

FRANCIS: Yeah.

NS: Ah, so you didn't... That's so interesting!

And did you find the crowds quite different?

Yeah.

And when it started to open up, the most interesting thing was just to see that they were quieter, but they were all... (MAKES A CHEWING NOISE) They'd never had chewing gum, so everybody was chewing.

And just... (MAKES CHEWING NOISE) NS: Do you know, I've never heard that.

I love that.

VO: Oh, me too.

Fascinating stuff.

FRANCIS: It's nice.

I like it.

I would take it home and use it.

I'd find some place to stick it and put a plant in it.

Probably an aspidistra.

NS: Oh, excuse...

Hold on a second.

FRANCIS: Yes?

NS: That is so spot on.

Because when you're buying a jardiniere that's in a very Victorian style, this is an art nouveau... NS: ..it would be an aspidistra.

FRANCIS: An aspidistra.

You're killing me with that.

I am obsessed with aspidistra!

FRANCIS: My first wife loved them too.

NS: Really?!

And they just never die.

FRANCIS: No, they're just...no.

NS: You cannot kill them.

This is the best bit.

The top.

The banding at the top is so art nouveau.

But then this is the central section, these kind of cabbage roses.

They do nothing for me and they kill it.

They bring it right into the 20th century.

So it's not Victorian, but... See, you know that stuff!

..stick an aspidistra in it... ..and it's the best thing you've ever seen.

But you know the people in auction are going to say exactly what...

I'm just going to talk myself out of getting something I wanted.

VO: Oh, Francis!

Keep on rummaging.

Oh!

FRANCIS: (HUMS) LINDA: So how are you getting on?

Struggling.

Struggling in here.

It's difficult, though, isn't it, when you... FRANCIS: Very.

# Come on, boys, we're going... # This is too small.

Look here.

Look.

You see?

See what you've done to the bald bits?

I've done nothing!

That was good.

What about this?

FRANCIS: I thought I was going to enjoy so much time with you.

You don't have to wear it!

VO: It's like The Flowerpot Men - he-he!

Right, you two, get back to work for another swirl around.

LINDA: Philippe!

PHIL: Phil-up!

LINDA: (CALLS) Philippe!

Where are you?

What do you think about this?

"Antique Japanese vase."

"Beautiful underglaze, free-hand painting."

PHIL: Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

LINDA: Correct... PHIL: That's what you've got.

What I've got...

This, I think, is a 19th century doorstop, that's been later painted.

They're cast.

How much is yours?

Mine is 35 spondoolies.

PHIL: Mine is 20 spondoolies.

LINDA: Oh.

PHIL: Which would you take home and why?

LINDA: I think that I'm going to go with you on... PHIL: Oh!

Ho-ho-ho!

LINDA: (CHUCKLES) VO: Alright, Phil.

PHIL: And I will put this by the door to keep it open for you.

LINDA: Oh, you're nicking my lines now!

PHIL: You pay the lady.

LINDA: OK, I will.

VO: He's such a bossy-boots.

Blimey.

Nicely turned ankle, Phil.

Look out.

Stand by, Rachel.

LINDA: Well, we have found our final item.

Oh, fantastic!

And the decision?

We went for the doorstop!

RACHEL: Oh.

There we are!

LINDA: There you go.

10, and I believe it was £20.

RACHEL: £20.

VO: That's it for Linda and Phil.

LINDA: (CALLS) Phil!

PHIL: What?

LINDA: Phil!

PHIL: Oh, sorry, sorry.

You nearly forgot it!

PHIL: Sorry, sorry.

LINDA: Come on.

VO: But what of Rossi and Tasha?

NS: You're looking for Matron?

Yes, I like this, Matron.

I don't know why, but I like it.

NS: Is it the color?

FRANCIS: There's something about him.

FRANCIS: You think... NS: That's true.

..I could put a lead on and take it for a walk.

NS: What I'd like to know is what's printed on the base.

Because...just where the stand meets the base, there's a stamp there.

And does it say Herbert Terry or Anglepoise?

I can see... FRANCIS: With my eyes, you wouldn't know, would you?

Anglepoise.

OK, the fact that it says Anglepoise helps to age it.

So the shade is an iconic shape.

It's the 1227.

It's the BBC lamp.

This is the lamp that was in every BBC office.

I'm impressed, just... VO: An icon of British design, it was invented in 1932 by automotive engineer, George Carwardine, when he created a new kind of spring mechanism.

It could be positioned at any angle with the lightest touch.

NS: Because that's marked Anglepoise, we know that this is a '30s design and not a '30s lamp because Anglepoise weren't a company, they were just a design, a name, but they became a company - '70s, '80s, something like that.

So it's second half 20th century, but it's first half 20th century design.

VO: The ticket price is £50.

FRANCIS: I'm taking it with me.

I'm going to put it with my dogs at home.

Oh, no, it's not for you, my friend.

It's for the auction...bidders.

She called me her friend.

NS: Finally.

Finally!

So what do you reckon?

I mean...

Yes.

No, I love it... NS: But there's something I need to know.

FRANCIS: Mmh?

Would you have that at home?

I'd have it in the studio, definitely.

VO: Deal time beckons.

Francis, I've brought Rachel to meet you.

FRANCIS: Hello, Rachel.

RACHEL: How are you doing?

FRANCIS: I want your lamp.

You got some lamp, honey!

But you want £50 for it.

Are you going to take this down a bit for me?

I can knock it down to 45 for you.

FRANCIS: It's a deal.

NS: It's a deal!

NS: Rachel, thank you very much.

FRANCIS: There we are, look.

FRANCIS: Thank you very much.

NS: Let's do it.

Grab it!

I'm going...

Very nice to... Well, fairly nice, anyway.

RACHEL: (LAUGHS) FRANCIS: Thank you.

Take care now.

Thank you.

Rachel, it was a pleasure.

VO: He-he!

That's it.

The shopping is now done and dusted.

FRANCIS: Look at this.

Look.

So pleased with this.

You are so pleased with it!

VO: Reunited, our musical stars are together once more.

FRANCIS: We can just pretend you won, if you like.

LINDA: Oh, really?

OK. FRANCIS: Yeah.

FRANCIS: Because I'm going to win, obviously.

LINDA: Obviously.

Obviously not!

PHIL: How do you think I'd look with a ponytail, Tash?

NS: Regal.

PHIL: Regal?

NS: You'd look quite like a Founding Father.

VO: Yeah.

You need your eyes testing.

Time for some shut-eye, definitely.

VO: Pinch yourselves - auction day is here, just outside Milton Keynes.

MUSIC: "Rockin' All Over the World" by Status Quo # ..here we go # VO: And on their way are two snazzy rock n' rollers.

# ..here we go # Rockin' all over the world # I'm excited about today, though.

Are you?

Yeah, kind of looking forward to it.

A bit jumpy and nervous... Oh, well, you would be, because you're going to lose.

LINDA: However... FRANCIS: What was that?

LINDA: Just... FRANCIS: No, what was that..?

No, what was it you said?

LINDA: It just slipped out.

VO: Yeah, the gloves are off.

This is the rendezvous point.

Bletchley Park Mansion, the home of the World War II codebreakers.

There we go.

Yes.

(LAUGHS) Oh, look!

VO: The handbrake helps, Francis.

FRANCIS: (LAUGHS) LINDA: You're trying to kill me!

They'll start without us.

Come on.

FRANCIS: Yeah, well, wait for... FRANCIS: Yeah, but... LINDA: They're in here!

FRANCIS: I'm going!

I'm coming!

VO: After a gallop around Surrey and Sussex, the gang have gathered in Milton Keynes, while their goodies have been dispatched to Middle Littleton in Worcestershire.

Home to Littleton Auctions, it's open to bidders in the room and online and commission bids across the globe, all presided over by Martin Homer.

40.

Five.

VO: Francis spent £187 on five lovely lots.

The treen toddy ladle is probably my favorite item of the lots we've got in today.

I like that a lot, particularly because of the quality of it, the fruitwood handle.

It really is a very nice piece of treen.

VO: Linda went for it, and spent 340 smackers, also on five lots.

What's your fave, Martin?

MARTIN: The Red Ensign are popular.

There are dedicated flag-collectors.

We've already got commission bids on it.

I'm expecting that to do particularly well.

VO: Back to beautiful Bletchley.

Tablets at the ready!

Let's fire up Enigma to break into some profits.

Ha!

NS: Here we go.

Oh, look who is up first!

NS: All eyes on Phil and... LINDA: Oh, I'm really nervous!

VO: We begin with Linda's beloved 19th century nutmeg-grater.

Give me £20 for it, please.

20 I'm bid.

Thank you.

At £20, looking for two now.

At 20, is there two anywhere?

At £20.

Are we all finished at 20?

God, I blame you... Fair warned at 20... VO: Just a tickle of a loss, Linda.

Oh, no, that's so annoying!

That's terrible.

This is so enjoyable, isn't it?

You used to be nice.

Don't worry.

My turn in a minute.

VO: Ha-ha!

It's Rossi's 1930 Zeiss Ikon folding camera.

Stand by.

You know, I could be wrong, but, normally, cameras don't go very well, do they?

£30 for it.

This could be my fault and I'm sorry.

I am sorry.

Oh...

Surely 20?

Go 15 for it.

Oh, no!

At £15.

Is it 18 anywhere?

At £15.

All done and fair warned at 15... 15.

VO: Fear not!

We've only just begun, Francis.

I hate to say I told you so, but - I told you so.

NS: Oh, Francis.

VO: Here comes Linda's silver christening mug.

Let's go.

£30 to start there.

Oh, what did you pay?

LINDA: Don't... Never mind.

MARTIN: We're at 40 now.

Oh, ho, ho, ho...

Hold on.

Here we go.

MARTIN: At 40.

Do I see five anywhere?

MARTIN: I'm at £40.

LINDA: Oh, come on.

Try harder.

MARTIN: £45.

Looking for 50 now?

FRANCIS: Oh!

MARTIN: 50 I've got in the room.

MARTIN: 55 now.

PHIL: Come on, come on... MARTIN: At £55.

LINDA: Oh, no, don't do it!

MARTIN: At 55... NS: Oh..!

That's a sad wee loss.

FRANCIS: (SARCASTICALLY) Aww... That's kind of not very much money, really, for that.

I didn't think it was very good.

FRANCIS: So sad... LINDA: We used to be friends.

LINDA: Oi, Rossi.

FRANCIS: What?

Be very, very careful.

VO: Precisely.

Linda's still in the lead.

It's the 19th century penny lick glasses from Francis.

20 I'm bid.

Thank you.

At £20.

At £20.

I'm asking for two now.

At £20.

20.

Is it two anywhere?

NS: Oh, no!

No, no, no... NS: That's it!

LINDA: Yes, do sell.

At £20... VO: We were hoping for a 99!

Ha-ha!

Never mind.

That's such a lovely piece of social history, isn't it?

And for a tenner each.

Yeah, I think they were really cute.

NS: Lovely.

VO: Linda, you're next with the 19th century doorstop.

MARTIN: £30 surely?

LINDA: (GASPS) MARTIN: £30 for it?

PHIL: Who's this... LINDA: Shh!

NS: Oh!

MARTIN: £45.

At £45.

NS: Look at that!

LINDA: I love it!

NS: Oh, still going.

MARTIN: At 45.

Is it... 50 now.

Fif... NS: Do you love it?

LINDA: So excited!

Yeah, it's brilliant!

MARTIN: £50 I'm at.

At 50... PHIL: Get in.

I'm asking for 60 now.

MARTIN: And I've got 60.

LINDA: (GASPS) 60!

LINDA: Oh, my God.

I'm thrilled.

MARTIN: Looking for 70 now.

LINDA: 70!

MARTIN: I've got 70.

70 quid.

LINDA: You are a genius!

PHIL: No.

Well... MARTIN: Got 75.

At £75.

Asking for 80 now.

And I've got 80.

FRANCIS: Oh!

No!

NS: Oh, nice!

At 80.

Is it 90 anywhere?

And I'm selling at £80.

Going once, going twice... LINDA: Oh, I'm delighted!

NS: That was so good!

How good is that?

VO: A big, juicy profit.

Well done.

Come on, Francis!

Let's see what the 18th century toddy ladle can serve up.

Lovely piece of treen, this.

NS: Yes, it is.

MARTIN: Surely £30 to start that?

(WHISPERS) Come on.

Come on, Francis.

NS: Come on.

MARTIN: ..quality, this.

£30 for it?

MARTIN: Give me 20 for it, then.

NS: Oh, no...!

MARTIN: Oh, there we go.

NS: Oh, hold on!

MARTIN: We're at £55... NS: Oh-ho-ho!

LINDA: How can you go from 20 to 55?!

Wow.

MARTIN: 60.

I'm asking for 60.

NS: Oh, I'm so chuffed!

MARTIN: At £65.

Going once.

Going twice... NS: Yes!

FRANCIS: (WHISPERS) Yes!

VO: The auctioneer's favorite brings a much-needed profit.

NS: That felt really good!

FRANCIS: Yeah!

NS: Oh, I'm delighted.

I'm delighted.

Yeah, we're really happy.

Look, this is our really happy faces.

I'm over the moon.

VO: On to Linda's kilim-covered box.

Where are we going to go for that?

£30 to start.

PHIL: (GROANS) MARTIN: Lovely piece.

MARTIN: 30 I'm bid.

Thank you.

At 30.

I'm asking five, now.

35.

At £35.

So many uses, this.

Use it as a log basket, linen, all sorts.

LINDA: He heard me.

MARTIN: £35.

MARTIN: Is it 40 anywhere?

LINDA: Yes... 40 I've got.

Thank you.

Comes into the room at 40.

At £40.

I'll take five.

50 in the room.

Room's got it at 50.

At £50.

Is it five?

55.

60 in the room now.

At £60.

At 60, are we all done, then?

MARTIN: At £60.

Fair warned.

BOTH: (GROAN) £60... VO: One word - ouch.

I'd buy that again... which is the worrying thing.

VO: Francis has an opportunity to get ahead now.

Is it when you get a nest of something and they smoke them out, is that it?

NS: It's for sobering them, for calming them down when you want to take out the honey.

I could do with one of those.

Wow!

I didn't even know that happened!

Are you an apiarist?

No, I just want calming down.

Oh, right!

(LAUGHS) Say £30 to start me.

Give me 20 for it, then.

LINDA: Don't!

NS: No, that would be nice.

15.

LINDA: No!

Go for 10!

PHIL: Pound?

Don't do it!

NS: Go on!

Give us a wee profit.

MARTIN: £10...?

NS: Oh, no, no, no.

MARTIN: Can I get a tenner for it?

10 I'm bid.

Thank you.

MARTIN: At £10... LINDA: £10, you've got.

£10... VO: This quirky number didn't quite hit the mark.

NS: That did not go as planned.

LINDA: Well, you know.

You didn't lose anything.

There's a noise over here.

Pardon me?

Bee...buzz... VO: Linda now with the whopper-sized naval ensign.

So this will probably make the money...for us.

I hope so.

I think it should.

At £40.

At 40, is it five anywhere?

NS: Go on.

MARTIN: 50 we're at.

MARTIN: 50.

55.

At £55.

In good order, this, as well.

At £55.

Are we all done, ladies and gentlemen...?

LINDA: Don't say that!

NS: Oh, keep going!

LINDA: No!

No... MARTIN: ..going twice... That's a pain.

VO: I think it's the white flag you need.

I thought that was worth more than that.

You don't see one of those every day, do you?

NS: You take the opportunities.

LINDA: No, for obvious reasons.

I think at the minute, we're flagging.

LINDA: Oh, st-ahp it!

FRANCIS: Oh... VO: Boom-boom.

Ha-ha!

It's the final lot.

The Anglepoise from Francis.

£50 for that one.

MARTIN: In fact, I've got £50... NS: Yay!

MARTIN: ..as a commission bid, so I'm away at 50... At £50.

I'm looking for five now.

For £50.

At 50.

Is it five anywhere?

NS: Go on.

FRANCIS: 75... MARTIN: At £50 are we all done?

NS: Oh, no!

Fair warned at 50... VO: That's a £5 profit, Francis.

But is it enough to preserve the status quo?!

Eugh...sorry.

It was a well-fought battle.

But let's take a look at the numbers.

Linda and Phil began with £400.

After all auction costs, they have made a loss of £118.60, ending with £281.40.

Valiant effort, though.

Francis and Natasha also started with £400 and made a loss of £55.80.

They have ended with £344.20, making them the outright winners.

LINDA: It was amazing, and I would do it all again.

PHIL: So would I. LINDA: Come on, you!

Now I've got to start this.

Listen to that go.

NS: Give it a blast!

FRANCIS: Good luck.

(CAR HORN TOOTLES) Don't do that!

NS: We'll make some money next time!

NS: (LAUGHS) FRANCIS: Bye!

LINDA: I have to say...

I'm going to miss you.

Well, you know, we know each other.

FRANCIS: It's difficult to say.

LINDA: You could say!

You could have just been nice for once in your bleedin' life...

But you know I'm not nice!

FRANCIS: Am I?

LINDA: You are nice.

I know, I know.

It's all bravado.

Yes, I've enjoyed our time together... You're a cuddly lamb under it all.

But I do have the old... (CAR HORN TOOTLES) And that... (HORN) And of course the... (HORN) And I like a bit of... (HORN) Don't you?

(HORN) LINDA: (LAUGHS) FRANCIS: Oh, that's better!

VO: Hey, toodle-pip, you two.

We'll miss you.

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