[upbeat hip hop music] NARRATOR: For many Americans hair is not a simple matter.

It can shape our identities or it can challenge the very notion of how we define beauty.

Hair is a commodity.

It is political.

Coming up on Our Time Shaienne Knox and Isabella Recca examine the role that hair plays in their own lives and communities.

And stay tuned afterwards for interviews with the filmmakers.

[soft music] MAN: Why don't people understand me?

MAN: I'm tired of running so fast.

WOMAN: I want to be heard.

MAN: Why are people afraid?

I'm ready for change.

[upbeat music] I hear you.

I see you.

WOMAN: My time.

MAN: My time.

Our time is now.

Major funding for this program is provided by: The Russell Grinnell Memorial Trust Steve and Mary Anne Walldorf and Betsy and Warren Dean.

Additional funding is provided by: The Joseph Henry Edmondson Foundation The Brenden Mann Foundation The Loo Family The Moniker Foundation The Buck Foundation The CALM Foundation Half the Sky Giving Circle, in honor of Chris Beyer And Will Stoller-Lee A complete list is available online.

[funky music] Well my hair's natural.

Most of the time I am in braids.

My hair is actually relaxed.

I am natural.

The way that you see it right now is natural.

It's curly, it's big and that's how it grows out of my head.

♪ I've got funky hair ♪ ♪ Piled high way up there ♪ ♪ Nothing can compare ♪ ♪ To my funky hair ♪ ♪ Ladies don't you dare ♪ ♪ Touch my funky hair ♪ ♪ We've got lots of flair ♪ ♪ Me and my funky hair ♪ ♪ Oh I've got funky funky ♪ ♪ Funky funky funky funky funky ♪ ♪ Funky funky funky funky funky ♪ ♪ Funky funky funky funky hair ♪ I don't do that much, I just wake up in the morning and put moisturizer on my hair.

Taking my bonnet off, taking the rollers out of my hair, brushing it.

Wet it, so I have a spray bottle so I will wet it and then I just kind of section it and finger detangle.

With my hair I'm telling you I just run my fingers through my hair.

I don't even own a comb.

[upbeat horn music] I go to the salon every two weeks.

If I have the weave it takes way longer.

Maybe up to three hour, three and a half hour visit Maybe up to three hour, three and a half hour visit because then she's actually washing, conditioning, braiding and then having to sew in my weave and then style it.

If you're going to the salon you're going to be there all day.

You better bring a book.

You better bring a snack.

You better bring whatever so that you can be comfortable.

And from the time I was six until just last year I would be in the salon every couple of weeks.

[laughing] There's so much gossip and there's so much talk.

Even though I don't want to spend all day in the salon it's like a cultural center where you get a lot of information whether it be political or about how you should deal with your husband or how you should deal with that friend who's not acting right.

There's a love/hate relationship with the salon for me.

See you later girl.

People outside of the black community they just think "oh she probably just like flat ironed it," or like "oh she probably just brushed it," you know like no one is really aware of all the effort.

[chill music] They put this white stuff in your hair and they let it sit there and it burns you to death and they let it sit there as long as they can.

[laughing] And it's burning and you're like "oh my god take it out!"

And then when they take it out your hair is straight.

I thought about all that money that I had spent.

If I actually am wearing weave the hair itself is about 150.

200 dollars for the installation.

Yeah, almost 400.

Black hair is a huge commodity and it doesn't surprise me that black folks spend a lot of money.

We are probably one of the largest consumer groups.

But the issue I have with black hair as a commodity is that it's not black people profiting off of black hair.

♪ I want style body and shine ♪ ♪ A look that's totally all mine ♪ ♪ Hair so soft silky and free ♪ ♪ I want something just for me ♪ ♪ Just for me ♪ ♪ For combing and styling that's worry free ♪ With your blackness came your kinky hair, with your blackness came your course and puffy hair, but that wasn't what was considered to be beautiful then.

[bouncy music] Growing up we used to play and I used to put towels on my head to pretend like it was hair.

[laughing] A black girl growing up and I'm watching TV and all I see are black women with long hair, I want that.

"Mommy can you get me that?"

There's nothing wrong with weave, don't get me wrong, but there's this ideal of what beautiful is and it's not this.

When I have weave to be honest I really do feel better.

You almost can look like a totally different person being able to switch up weaves and switch up styles almost like a costume.

One year I had a red track and then the next year I had a blue track.

It just sort of became part of my personality because that was how people remembered me.

I regret not knowing what my natural hair texture was for so long.

It took me until I was 21 years old to know how my hair grew out of my head.

I had no idea.

Melba.

MELBA: Yes mother.

- You better hurry.

You're going to be late for school.

MELBA: Here I come.

ANNOUNCER: As usual the girl in the family is running a little late.

The girl is Melba Tillow, 15 years old.

[soft music] I think what you see in the civil rights 1950s 60s and that early movement is black people were asking for a space at the table so they were more willing to conform.

And so I think that's like if you look at any of the old pictures you see the women with their hair kind of neatly coiffed and flipped and they look a lot like their white counterparts.

When you get to the black power movement I think they stopped asking to be a part of anything.

[upbeat funky music] The Black Panther party movement was really strong and open and when that movement came out and Huey Newton and Angela Davis and all those people had Afros, I always wanted a big Afro.

It gave black people more pride.

You know when they went to Afros it was just like you were liberated.

It was like a wig you took off and you came your natural self.

Once we got to the 70s black people were no longer asking to be anywhere, they were demanding their space.

Assata with her big hair and Afeni and all of these black women with beautiful huge Afros and they were just unapologetically who they were.

♪ One two ♪ ♪ One two three four ♪ Are you ready to be moved?

[upbeat music] Name me three black women in mainstream media with their natural hair because I can't.

I was depending on my relaxed state of hair and weave and like braids for my source of beauty and so when I did the big chop I like started to love myself a lot more and I became confident and I really just became to the person I am today.

Sometimes my hair likes to do its own thing and I'm like "That's what we're doing today, cool."

Every time I went to go look for a job I would straighten my hair so that it looked more professional and more clean so that I could get jobs.

Last year I decided I wasn't gonna do that, that if they wanted to hire me they would have to deal with my hair the way it was.

I think that my relaxed hair was seen more as professional and when I showed up to work you know with crocheted braids people would just give me the nastiest looks.

I feel like people see me and my natural hair and they're probably like "Ooh she don't put up with crap," and I'm like "No I don't, no mam."

They think that it's not clean or it's not kept or it's not combed.

One of my students came up to me and he told me how his mom thought my hair was obnoxious.

Then when I walk into work with like braids down to here people are like, "Oh how did you, how did you do that?

"How long did that take?"

And things like that.

"I didn't know your hair grew that fast," and I'm like.

So for a long time I promised that I was going to have a baby by a white guy.

Don't judge me guys.

Cause I wanted my child to have curly hair or nice and straight textured hair.

Now I look at myself I'm like, "I can't believe I said that."

Like oh my gosh.

For a long time like I wouldn't even look at any black boys, like "yeah right, my baby is not having no kinky hair.

"I need my baby to have good hair."

I think to really understand that you have to even go all the way back to slaves.

You know this idea about being lighter with good hair or more straight hair because the lighter you were and the straighter or less kinky your hair was the closer you were to master because he probably was your dad.

Like let's just be honest.

So that goes all the way back then like in a house that is divided against itself, right, can't get it together.

So black people have been doing this you know team dark skin, team nappy hair, all of that stuff is just a whole new rendition of house nigga and field nigga, the end.

I believe that good hair is hair that is clean and groomed that grows out of your head.

I don't like that phrase cause I think everybody's hair is good.

To each his own, if that's how you want your hair to be, that's how you want your hair to be.

You can express who you are more than you could back in my day.

Good hair is hair that you love so that can be weave, that can be braids, it can be anything you want it to be, but if you love it it's pretty darn good.

ANNOUNCER: The Youth Documentary Academy empowers young filmmakers to identify and craft their own stories through intensive training and mentorship in the art of documentary film.

[soft music] When I was little I was crazy.

I was really carefree.

I was more like a wild child.

I would play on the monkey bars literally every single day.

Just going with the flow and being adventurous, never brushing my hair you know.

Yeah, it feels so long ago.

[soft guitar music] When I was I think in kindergarten how I saw girls was skirts and dresses and long eyelashes and long like blonde hair.

I had this crazy matted hair that just went all over the place.

I rarely made it look nice.

And then I switched from a public school to a private school.

Literally all the girls that were at that school were just gorgeous girls with this beautiful hair and they all looked like Amazon princesses.

I think that's where my self-image started to come into play.

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen.

My name is George Herbert Walker Bush.

I felt this need to be an entertainer and I still struggle with putting on a persona all the time really.

If I'm not the pretty girl then I have to be the funny girl so that people will want to be around me I think.

That's why I wear makeup everyday because that's how they know me.

All right so I'm not wearing as much makeup today mostly because I didn't have to go out really at all.

I'm just wearing a bit of foundation and some mascara.

It's sorta hard to get used to I think.

I don't feel as confident.

When I first saw you I was super nervous cause like I don't know, cause you were like the attractive girl in the class.

Like there were all these empty chairs and you sat next to me and I was like, "What kind of cruel joke is this?

"Who dared you to sit next to me?"

Going into high school I got a perm and that was like super fun and everyone was always playing with it and I was just really happy with it and so I was in this really high point where I was just thinking, "Oh I want to do something different."

Whenever I'm on break I always want to come back to school and be like "look there's something different."

And so half a year after I permed it I decided that I wanted to be bold.

[upbeat rock music] [razor buzzing] When you told me you wanted to shave your head I was really excited.

I went with you to the barber shop.

I went with my dad and my boyfriend.

We went to Fort Carson Army base and we went into like where the men get their head shaved and so it was all men and like these Asian women who like have their buzzers and they're all like ready.

And I walk in and I go up to one of the ladies and she was like "The women's salon's next door," and I was like, "No, I want my head shaved like them."

And she was like, "No, the women's salon is next door.

I'm like, "No, that's not what I'm here for," and I showed her a picture I found online of like a woman with her head shaved.

She's like "it's so short," like she was in shock.

My favorite part was like the halfway point.

Where you had like that sort of punk half shaved head, half long hair thing.

And then your dad was there and we both laughed a lot.

All the guys were in shock and I remember a lot of people's first reaction was "are you enlisting or something."

The first person we walked by was some homeless guy who was like "I like your short hair, it's sexy," or something like that and it was a little off putting, but I think you really needed that right after making that big decision.

I shaved my head really close to when I was coming back to school.

This was in January and so I wore a hat and I walked in the door and the first reaction I got was from a friend and she was like, "oh are you bald?"

I took off my hat and she was like, "oh my gosh you actually are bald!"

All the girls reactions were really positive.

Sort of surprised and positive, like "oh I could never do that," like "you're so bold, "it like fits your head shape perfectly, "oh that's so cool."

I was just like really happy about it.

[upbeat music] So I'm like a huge drama nerd and I'm in like all the plays.

I was usually like one of the major characters.

We had auditions for this play called "Cyrano de Burger Shack", which was a play on "Cyrano de Bergerac."

The lead character of course was Roxanne who like her character description was this beautiful like intelligent, witty character.

We had the auditions and one of my friends he was helping with auditions and he said that, "oh yeah Bella you nailed that."

We got the cast list and there was just sort of this silence.

I got one of the smaller roles who was characterized as a punk person.

I was walking down the hallway and the director stopped me and she was like, "Oh it's so perfect "that you shaved your head because it was perfect "for this role," and I was like wait a second.

That's why you cast me as that, like just because I shave my head all of a sudden I can't be this beautiful, witty girl?

I started to feel this sort of like, "shoot, what do I do?

"I don't feel pretty anymore."

I didn't feel like I had any femininity left like inside me because without makeup it was like the hair, but then without the hair and without the makeup it was like there was nothing.

[soft somber music] I wouldn't go walk the dog without makeup on.

I wouldn't leave the house.

I wish I was comfortable with myself, but like it's hard for me to let other people accept me when I have a hard time accepting myself.

If I wake up in the morning and I'm not wearing makeup and I'm not wearing jewelry and I just I see myself and I'm not thinking like, "oh Bella that's you."

I'm thinking, "I need to fix this, I need to clean this up, "I need to cover this up and."

[light upbeat music] I hope at least that it was never regret because I think it was really cool that you did that.

But you've had moments where you just wanted it to be long again so you can feel you know like you can do that sort of stuff.

Which I totally understand, but I always reassured you like I like this, I like what you have going on and I liked it long too.

I liked it when it was straight, I liked it when it was curly.

So it's really, my opinions mean nothing cause I like everything.

I like it all the time.

It's been seven months since I got my head shaved.

I don't know how long this is.

Here I got a ruler.

How long is this hair?

I'll do it in centimeters.

What is that?

Eight, eight centimeters long, wow.

There wasn't a period of time really where you were like "this sucks," you know.

You had moments.

I had a mullet, yeah.

That wasn't nice.

It wasn't quite a mullet, getting there.

You're goofy, but you're pretty.

You're smart, but you don't take yourself seriously when you don't have to.

You're me, we're the same person and now you've done this so we have the same haircut so what's the point?

[laughing] You love it.

♪ Summer lovin' having a blast ♪ ♪ Summer lovin' happened so fast ♪ ♪ I met a girl crazy for me ♪ ♪ Met a boy cute as can be ♪ ♪ Summer days drifting away ♪ ♪ To uh oh the summer nights ♪ ♪ Wella wella wella huh ♪ ♪ Tell me more tell me more ♪ ♪ Did you get very far ♪ ♪ Tell me more tell me more ♪ ♪ Like does he have a car ♪ ♪ She swam by me ♪ ♪ She got a cramp ♪ Society seems to dictate that to be feminine you have to have long hair.

By shaving my head I started to question myself as "Am I still feminine?"

But I wasn't really questioning myself, I was questioning society.

Going in I though I was just going to see a lot of what I experienced, but what I didn't realize was that each individual woman had had her own experience with her hair.

And even talking to my grandmother who I also interviewed for the film, like we had never had that conversation before and we're really close.

We need to start looking at ourselves from our own eyes and it might seem sort of obvious, but it takes a bit of work to really look at yourself without all these preconceived ideas of what beauty is.

And it all has to do with like these Eurocentric beauty standards, right, like the light skinned girls with looser curls and like smaller features are like on a different side than like the darker girls with like harsher features and tighter curls.

Struggling with your image, struggling with depression, it's not a lonely battle.

I did have people like women of other races come up to me and say that they related to some of the things in the film and I didn't expect that either.

Once you see that someone else is struggling with self-image you realize "oh yeah, I am too.

"Thank you for sharing your story "and like let me share mine."

[soft music] Major funding for this program is provided by: The Russell Grinnell Memorial Trust Steve and Mary Anne Walldorf and Betsy and Warren Dean.

Additional funding is provided by: The Joseph Henry Edmondson Foundation The Brenden Mann Foundation The Loo Family The Moniker Foundation The Buck Foundation The CALM Foundation Half the Sky Giving Circle, in honor of Chris Beyer And Will Stoller-Lee A complete list is available online.