VO: The nation's favorite celebrities... Oh, that is good.

VO: ..paired up with an expert...

I like that.

VO: ..and a classic car.

Feeling confident?

Er... VO: Their mission?

To scour Britain for antiques.

(GLASS SMASHES) Look at you.

You're really good!

The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

(GASPS) Is it a find?

VO: But it's no easy ride.

XAND VAN TULLEKEN: Hey, come on!

VO: Who will find a hidden gem?

(MIMICS DUCK) Take me with you.

VO: Take the biggest risk?

Have you got a tow truck?

VO: Will anybody follow expert advice?

I might have bought rubbish.

Who knows?

VO: There will be worthy winners... Yay!

Whoo!

VO: ..and valiant losers.

Come on.

Someone else!

Someone!

VO: Put your pedal to the metal!

Aah!

VO: This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

Flamin' Nora!

We're in Staffordshire, with Coronation Street soap stars, actors Peter Gunn and Melanie Hill.

MUSIC: "Bang a Gong (Get It On)" by T. Rex The world's our oyster.

It's great, innit?

# Get in on # Bang a gong # Get it on... # PETER: I can't tell you how excited I am to be on my first road trip.

Not as excited to me!

VO: Peter has a film and TV career spanning 30 years, but first appeared in Britain's biggest soap in 2010.

Mel joins him on the show as his on-screen partner, but this acting doyenne has also been in the biz for three decades, and met Peter at Rada.

PETER: You know, like me and my penchant for um... ..adjustable spanners.

MELANIE: What?

PETER: (LAUGHS) Ah, bless you, Peter.

VO: Enough said!

VO: Accompanying our soap stars today... ..are natty auctioneer James Braxton, and antiques dealer David Harper.

The fellas are zipping around in a nippy MGB Roadster from 1967.

Nice!

I mean, I think when Coronation first started was 1960.

I mean, you still would have been... Where were you, then?

Were you working then?

JAMES: I was born in '63.

I'm sort of lunar landing sort of stuff!

JAMES: After the coronation... DAVID: Yeah.

JAMES: Around the lunar landing.

VO: Got it, JB.

Hotter than Betty's hotpot, Peter and Mel are in the 1982 Ferrari 400i.

PETER: Look at the speed of that window going up.

The what?

Look at the window going up!

(CHUCKLES) VO: It's the little things!

I like your watch.

PETER: Do you want to buy it?

MELANIE: No.

MELANIE: Go on, haggle!

VO: That's the spirit!

MELANIE: You don't see many of these going down Coronation Street, do you?

VO: Not great on the cobbles, love!

VO: A blast around Staffordshire, Leicestershire, and Derbyshire awaits, with a big auction showdown at Newport in Shropshire.

But first, we all have a shopping date in Lichfield.

PETER: Looking forward to this one.

MELANIE: Ready?

PETER: Yeah, I'm ready.

PETER: You ready?

MELANIE: Game on!

Alright, game on.

VO: Show us what you're made of, you two.

Lichfield Antiques Centre is the arena for our competing duo.

Inside this lovely Victorian establishment there are over 60 dealers jam-packing the shelves.

Oh, hello!

Peter and Mel each have 400 big ones.

Let's get mooching!

Love this.

The detail on this is stunning.

And it's got that... (LEATHER CREAKS) It sounds so nice.

I think I might like to get this for myself.

VO: Oh, Mel!

That's not the idea!

Put it back.

You need an expert.

Now, our founts of antique knowledge, aka James and David, are primed and ready.

We wouldn't survive in the world of antiques without calculators, would we?

No, no.

Well, we're more... We're more abacus!

VO: Oh, I love an abacus!

Hello!

Hello, Peter.

Hello, James.

How are you?

JAMES: Very good, thank you.

PETER: Nice to see you.

Very good.

I'm just...

I'm just doing a little research.

Yeah.

JAMES: In... What do you think of that?

(LAUGHS) I don't know!

What is it?

I'm not sure whether it's a medical apparatus or a decorative object.

PETER: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll go with decorative object if you don't mind!

VO: Yeah, I think it's best!

JAMES: You like antiques, don't you?

I do.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, my problem is that I like cheap tat.

VO: Cover your ears, Jimbo.

JAMES: Lead on, lead on.

OK.

I'll have a look over here.

Show me what you like.

PETER: Oh, yeah, it's over here.

VO: Are you alright, James?

Elsewhere in the shop, what are Mel and David up to?

MELANIE: David!

DAVID: Hello!

MELANIE: Hello, hi.

Well, what a pleasure to meet you.

MELANIE: What a place this is.

DAVID: Yeah.

You could spend hours in here.

Do you know these kind of places?

Well, yeah.

When I was growing up, sort of a teenager, I used to spend hours in places like this, just looking for interesting stuff, basically.

DAVID: Ooh!

So this doesn't faze you at all?

It doesn't faze me because you're here.

DAVID: Oh!

MELANIE: I must be honest.

DAVID: Right.

VO: No pressure, David.

When I said I liked tat... JAMES: Yeah?

PETER: I think tat might be in.

JAMES: Look at that.

PETER: Yeah.

JAMES: The onyx, blessed is the onyx.

PETER: Yeah, it's for me.

It's my agent.

Hello, Barry.

Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, I'm doing it now.

Thanks.

Yeah, that was Barry.

Just wanted to make sure I was alright.

What did he say?

Don't pay... "alright, darling, don't... Don't mess it up."

JAMES: Get away from the tat.

PETER: (CHUCKLES) MELANIE: David.

DAVID: Yes?

So now I've... That looks like a Clarice Cliff.

DAVID: OK. That looks like a Clarice Cliff as well.

Clarice Cliff is one of my all-time heroes.

She came from nothing.

A pottery girl from Stoke-on-Trent, working from the age of about 12, barely any education.

Worked her way through the company, pushed herself forward with her designs and eventually married the owner of the factory and moved to the big country house.

Nice story.

She was amazing.

MELANIE: Nice story.

MELANIE: It says Clarice Cliff, but it doesn't look like it's real, does it?

Go with your instincts.

DAVID: What are you feeling?

MELANIE: It's a copy.

DAVID: It is... MELANIE: Am I right?

Yeah.

DAVID: Yeah, absolutely a copy.

But the style, the shape, is definitely Clarice Cliff.

It's a good start, Melanie.

It's a good start.

But you've got to get better.

OK. Must get better.

VO: I think you're doing just dandy, Melanie.

Peter, what do you have in your hand there?

(PHONE RINGS) PETER: Oh.

It'll be my agent again.

Barry, I'm busy.

Put it down, Peter.

Does he always call you darling?

PETER: Always.

JAMES: Lovely.

VO: Come on, darling.

What have you got there?

PETER: It says it on here - "a stunning Austrian polychrome plaster figure".

This is sort of... this is the late 19th century.

Yeah.

JAMES: But very exotic, isn't it?

PETER: It is, isn't it?

VO: This exotic figure is very much in the style of Franz Xavier Bergman, the most famous of the Viennese cold-painted bronze artists.

JAMES: Is it sound, do you think?

Has it had any damage?

PETER: I think it feels fine.

And something that's, what, 1890?

JAMES: Yeah.

130-odd years old.

I think that's remarkable condition.

JAMES: You're holding history.

This is a different world of bright sunshine, palm trees.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

JAMES: Pyramids.

PETER: Yes.

JAMES: Camels.

PETER: Oh, my God.

A different thing altogether, isn't it?

But I love the fact that we can hold history.

JAMES: We can.

PETER: That's what I love.

JAMES: It's within our grasp.

PETER: I know.

VO: Yeah.

Price, please, Peter.

PETER: 95.

JAMES: Well, I think...

It's got 125 crossed out.

So he's going down.

PETER: Yeah, he is, isn't he?

VO: One for the possibles, Peter.

It's really nice.

There's a vintage timer here which is quite interesting.

But I don't know if it would...

If you could make any money out of it.

You know, like a ping timer... Ping!

A vintage one.

That's quite interesting, isn't it?

David!

Help!

DAVID: This better be good.

This better be good!

I don't know... Pressure!

I don't know if it is but there's... Down in this little case here... DAVID: Yes.

MELANIE: ..there's a vintage ping timer.

DAVID: Now, datewise, what's your instinct with that?

I would say...'40s, '50s.

DAVID: Yeah, '40s, '50s.

VO: This is a Smiths pinger timer from the 1950s.

The idea was that the timed ping avoided burnt offerings in the kitchen.

It was so hot it appeared in the Ideal Home Show magazine of 1951.

DAVID: And what's it priced at?

£24.

Oh!

Big money.

Shall we get it?

I'd love to go for it.

DAVID: Go with your instinct.

MELANIE: Yeah.

Thank you very much.

VO: That's a definite first purchase for Melanie.

MELANIE: Hello, Peter.

PETER: Alright?

I'm not spying on you.

No, no, you're alright.

What are you looking at?

Just things, you know.

MELANIE: Come on.

Have you bought anything?

Might have done.

We found some quite good stuff.

Oh, have you?

Yeah, yeah.

Some "quite" good stuff.

Some really good stuff.

Some very good stuff!

Yeah, we've found some good stuff as well.

Have you?

I'm glad I bumped into you, Pete.

PETER: Yeah.

MELANIE: Anyway, see you later.

Happy browsing.

MELANIE: See you.

And you.

Good luck.

VO: Just a frisson of rivalry between these two.

They're nice.

Silver-plated teapot, milk jug, and sugar bowl.

It's a very pleasing shape, isn't it?

And they all match.

Yeah, look at that.

Yep.

I don't think it's ever been used.

PETER: I think, um... Yeah, I like that.

Better get an expert's opinion.

VO: Let's get the Braxton's peepers on this.

PETER: Look at these.

It looks...it looks to me...

It looks to me like art deco.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

I like the shape.

PETER: Yeah, they're lovely, aren't they?

I like the step legs.

PETER: Yeah.

JAMES: The hoof feet.

How much is that?

Is that 50, £70?

What's that?

That... ..is 30.

JAMES: No!

PETER: Yes.

JAMES: £30?

PETER: 30.

That's a bargain.

That's a profit, Peter.

That's money right there.

JAMES: You're a natural.

PETER: Come on.

VO: He is.

Watch out, dealer Paul.

PETER: Hello.

PAUL: Hi.

So, that's as is on there, 30.

OK.

But we've also found... PETER: ..Poly.

PAUL: Ah.

Polychrome.

She's rather nice.

PAUL: Very nice, too.

She's beautiful, isn't she?

What's she got on the ticket, please, James?

She's got 95.

We'll do 75, then.

JAMES: 75?

JAMES: I think it's worth a punt.

PETER: 75.

30?

Mm-hm.

That's 105.

I knew that!

VO: Nifty work, Peter.

You now have £295.

Come on, James, we've done well there.

Cup of tea time.

VO: As the boys hit the road... How's Melanie getting on with her search?

Now, that, to me, it stands out, it's in that shelf, because it's...

It looks... Do you know those big blue whales when they come out of the sea?

DAVID: Yeah.

MELANIE: But obviously it's a horse.

DAVID: It is.

It's a damaged horse's head.

DAVID: It's called a rhyton vessel.

MELANIE: Yeah?

So a rhyton vessel is a drinking vessel.

MELANIE: No way!

DAVID: Yeah, look at that.

So you drink your mead or something.

MELANIE: How could you put it, you couldn't put it down, then?

No, you've got to drink it all.

MELANIE: You've got to drink... You got to drink it all, baby!

DAVID: And then slam it on the table, which is quite obviously why it's been damaged.

VO: The rhyton cup has been known in the Aegean region since the bronze age, and is thought to have probably originated from the drinking horn.

DAVID: It's had a handle, described... "ancient Near Eastern terracotta."

I mean, when something is described as ancient, I mean, they really do mean ancient, as in 2,000 years.

No, no!

DAVID: 3,000 years.

As I'm looking at it, it's getting more beautiful... Yeah.

..and I think we've got to have it.

You...

I... You make decisions very quickly.

DAVID: I wouldn't stake my reputation on the fact that it's 2,000 or 3,000 years old, but it might be.

Let's go for it.

It's saying, "Buy me!"

DAVID: "Buy me, go on!"

MELANIE: "Buy me, Melanie!"

Come on, we'll buy you!

VO: Time to do a deal.

Don't forget that '50s pinger timer too.

MELANIE: Hello, Madeleine.

MADELEINE: Oh, hello.

Hello.

We'd just like to talk to you about this horse's head.

I brought it off someone who specializes in antiquities.

Yes.

Now, in my understanding, ancient is pre the year zero.

So it's BC.

DAVID: Well, it's been speaking to us, hasn't it?

MELANIE: It has.

I really love it.

So we'd like to take that, please.

And also, there's like a vintage ping timer.

DAVID: Yeah, priced at £24.

MELANIE: Yeah, £24.

So we'd really like to take those two, if possible.

Lovely.

Thank you very much.

VO: Mel was so decisive, she forgot to haggle.

£59 for the two means she has £341 left.

It's ticking nicely.

So it's actually working?

Yes, it's working beautifully.

That's always a good sign, you know that?

VO: Where's our new buddies, Peter and Jimbo?

Ferrari 400i.

PETER: Gentleman's Express.

We could be crossing continents.

PETER: We could be.

We'd need to be dragging a petrol station, though!

PETER: We do.

Yes.

JAMES: Wouldn't we?

PETER: We do, yes.

VO: The boys are still in Lichfield.

One of the smallest of the English cathedral cities, it made its rank as an ecclesiastical center by the seventh century.

(BELLS RING) JAMES: Oh, look at that!

JAMES: I think they were expecting us.

(ORGAN ACCOMPANIES CHORAL SINGERS) VO: Behold the medieval majesty of the only three-spired cathedral in the United Kingdom.

With over 1,300 years of history, this precious building is one of the earliest sites of Christian worship.

Peter and James are meeting Dr Gareth Williams to find out more.

PETER: Hi, Gareth.

Hello.

Welcome to Lichfield Cathedral.

VO: The serene, calm and peace within these ancient cathedral walls dating from 700 AD, belies a tumultuous past.

Here, we are right at the heart of the original Anglo-Saxon church.

The first church in Lichfield is recorded in AD 669, and St Chad is the first known bishop to be based here.

So the Anglo-Saxon church, much smaller, was here.

Around us we've got the much larger High Medieval Gothic cathedral.

VO: Throughout its long history, the cathedral has suffered some extensive damage, particularly in the Civil War in the 17th century.

The reason I've brought you to this part of the cathedral is it illustrates part of the restoration that had to take place after the cathedral was badly damaged in the Civil War.

GARETH: The cathedral was surrounded by walls, so it was a mini fortification, if you like.

And it was besieged three times in the course of the Civil War.

It's a bit unusual for a church.

VO: The fortified close around the cathedral created an ideal garrison.

This holy place of worship would prove pivotal in the development of warfare techniques.

The first recorded accounts of a sniper was actually a gentleman based up on the main spire, shooting down at the besiegers outside.

It was an incredibly long shot with a musket, where he killed the general, Lord Brooke, who was commanding the besieging forces.

VO: On the third siege of Lichfield, the cathedral would be strategically important because it was one of the last places before Charles I surrendered to parliament.

The cathedral was badly damaged.

They were firing cannon and musket at it during the sieges.

The spire was brought down, part of the roof came down, and the windows were smashed.

So these wonderful windows that you see behind me are not the original windows of the cathedral.

These date from the Renaissance, so they're still earlier than the Civil War, but they were brought in from the Continent.

They were rescued from a church that was going to be demolished there.

VO: Despite the ravages of war, the cathedral has survived to tell the tale.

JAMES: What does the cathedral mean to the public here today?

I think the cathedral means different things to different people.

GARETH: It's still very much an active place of worship, but it's also a fantastic building and a treasure house, that people can come to enjoy, whatever their beliefs.

VO: Meanwhile, Mel's weighing up her chances.

So would you describe Peter as a nice, worn pair of slippers?

MELANIE: (LAUGHS) He'd probably kill me if I described him like that!

Blooming hilarious, that's what he is.

DAVID: Yeah.

But I've got to beat him.

VO: Go for it, Mel.

They're bound for the town of Shepshed in Leicestershire.

DAVID: Here we are.

MELANIE: Wonderful.

DAVID: You've had your training.

MELANIE: OK. DAVID: You're now a professional.

MELANIE: If you say so.

VO: Mel's going to try out her new-found skills in Armstrong's Mill.

Very hot out there.

VO: There are 50 dealers selling antiques to vintage in here.

It's quite hard to pick things out that are going to cost a lot of money.

Everything I pick up is like under 10 quid.

What does that say about me?

VO: You're a canny shopper!

Mel and David have £341 to spend in here.

DAVID: What series were you in, in Bread?

One or two?

MELANIE: No way!

DAVID: Look at that!

MELANIE: Oh, my God.

DAVID: Have you ever seen such a thing as that badge?

That's vintage.

DAVID: That is seriously vintage.

MELANIE: That was Peter Howitt.

DAVID: Right.

MELANIE: Who played the first Joey in Bread.

DAVID: OK. MELANIE: And we came in, myself and Graham Bickley came in, to play the second.

DAVID: I see.

But that's... That is vintage Bread.

I've never seen a Bread related badge in my life, and I'm with you and we come across that!

MELANIE: It's so weird, isn't it?

MELANIE: That is so...

Wait, I wonder how much?

MELANIE: £5,000.

VO: It's amazing what springs up in antique shops.

MELANIE: I like that butterfly chair.

Now, that is nice.

If that was an old one, £85, I would buy that, for probably more, cuz I think they're about £150, those.

VO: You've found something more than a tenner, Mel!

David!

DAVID: Here we go.

MELANIE: Yoo-hoo!

DAVID: Oh, I say!

Hello.

DAVID: Are we getting all musical?

Well, I just saw that, it sounds lovely, doesn't it?

DAVID: It does sound good.

Now, I was going to ask you... DAVID: Go on.

MELANIE: ..about this wonderful butterfly chair.

DAVID: Oh, wow.

I just like the color.

Yeah, I like the color.

DAVID: Go on, let's see what you look like in it.

DAVID: Oh, I say, madam!

MELANIE: Oh, it's very comfy.

VO: The butterfly chair was invented in Buenos Aires in 1938.

It was described as an easy chair for siesta sitting.

DAVID: Oh, very good.

Now, very well made.

Have a look at the frame.

You want it to be described as mid-20th century for it to do well.

Right.

This is not new.

DAVID: No.

MELANIE: I feel it in my gut.

You do?

Because things speak to you, Melanie, don't they?

Yeah, they do.

DAVID: It's 20, 30, 40 years old.

MELANIE: Right.

DAVID: So we can safely describe it as a proper vintage thing.

MELANIE: Yes.

We'll put it back there for now.

MELANIE: Yes, but hang on.

DAVID: What?

What if somebody sees it in the meantime... That's a good point.

..and decides that they need a butterfly chair?

We'll have to get somebody to guard it, OK?

Let's hide it.

I'll tell you what, I'll put it...

I've done this before.

MELANIE: Oh, have you?

DAVID: Yeah.

I'll put that on there like that.

Now it doesn't look like a butterfly chair.

MELANIE: That's it.

Sorted.

VO: Butterfly chair - hidden, but not forgotten.

The search goes on.

OK.

I'm gonna test your skills.

You've been trained now.

Oh, my God.

DAVID: You are an antiques expert.

DAVID: Pick up that box.

Have a look at the objects... MELANIE: I already know that's lovely.

DAVID: What is that?

MELANIE: Letter opener?

Yes.

MELANIE: Lovely.

DAVID: From what period?

Oh, my goodness.

DAVID: Think of a style.

Deco?

DAVID: Yes!

MELANIE: Oh!

DAVID: But what is that made from?

DAVID: A classic early-20th century product, the art deco period loved it.

MELANIE: Bakelite.

DAVID: Bakelite!

Perfect.

I'm good.

VO: You're a grade-A student, Mel.

MELANIE: No.

DAVID: What is that for?

MELANIE: Right, I'm not gonna cheat and read it.

Right, hang on.

Resting it on it?

MELANIE: No.

DAVID: No.

Salt shaker!

1840, the invention of the Penny Black stamp.

And... for put... on letters.

DAVID: Yes.

MELANIE: Wax.

Wax!

What are they called?

A stamp?

DAVID: A seal.

MELANIE: A seal!

A seal, which was used normally to seal letters.

DAVID: How much is it?

MELANIE: It is 95.

MELANIE: I love it.

DAVID: Do you?

MELANIE: Yes, I do.

DAVID: Is it talking to you?

Yes!

(LAUGHS) Yes, shall we...

Yes, shall we add this in to the.... Well, let's give it a go.

MELANIE: Yeah.

Great.

DAVID: Come on, then.

MELANIE: Yeah.

VO: I can feel a deal coming on.

AMANDA: Hi!

MELANIE: It's Amanda, is it?

It is, yes.

MELANIE: We've found something that we're quite interested in buying, Amanda.

And it's this lovely Bakelite letter opener.

OK. You've got a price on it of £95.

Is... What's the best offer that you could give us on this?

We were looking at around about 75.

The best I could do is 80.

MELANIE: 80.

DAVID: Well... MELANIE: Well, I think it's, I mean, it's really beautiful, isn't it?

AMANDA: It is lovely.

MELANIE: And it's very unusual.

AMANDA: Yes.

So I think we'd like to take that, please.

VO: And the butterfly chair priced at 85?

Could you do us a good price on that?

Maybe £60?

AMANDA: Yes.

MELANIE: Yes.

Thank you.

VO: That makes a total of £140.

Well done, Mel!

Leaving £201 in the old kitty.

That chair will be sent on to the auction.

DAVID: There you go.

Throw it in.

MELANIE: Yeah.

DAVID: (LAUGHS) VO: That's it.

The shopping is over for today.

Oh, look, there's a Peter and a Jimbo.

How long have you known Melanie for?

Melanie and I have known each other since 1983.

PETER: Can you believe that?

JAMES: And why 1983?

When I started drama school.... JAMES: Yeah.

..we were both at RADA, and we used to go to the pub.

Yeah.

PETER: And over the years, I've worked with her.

And then recently we've been in Coronation Street together, And we live at 12 Coronation Street, next to Rita.

That's lovely.

Yeah, knock on the wall, tell Rita to keep the noise down.

DAVID: Are you and Peter very competitive?

Not usually, but on something like this, MELANIE: I think it's, yeah... DAVID: Because you're big mates.

MELANIE: It's a bit of pride.

We're very good mates, but I think we're winding each other up and I really want to beat him.

DAVID: Do you?

MELANIE: Yeah, I do.

VO: Ha ha!

Blimey!

Nighty night!

VO: Buongiorno, Derby.

MELANIE: (LAUGHS) PETER: So another gorgeous day.

MELANIE: Yeah, in paradise.

PETER: It is.

MELANIE: These roads are really narrow.

I wouldn't like to meet a big articulated lorry coming the other way.

It'll be alright.

We're in a Ferrari.

VO: It's a nice motor!

PETER: What you need to do, Mel, what was that thing you said?

PETER: Was it maz...?

MELANIE: Manifest.

Manifest!

Have you manifested this morning?

I haven't, actually.

MELANIE: It was a bit of a rush, so I might go and stand... DAVID: Didn't have time!

..in the middle of a field and do a bit.

PETER: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

VO: Yeah.

Righty-o.

PETER: Perhaps I should do a bit of manifesting.

MELANIE: Yeah, well it does work.

PETER: How do you do it?

You just talk to the universe and ask for what you want.

And don't take the mickey out of it!

I'm no, no, no, no!

MELANIE: Cuz I know what you're like.

PETER: No, Melanie, no.

VO: If this really works, the universe would deliver two fine fellas in a sporty number.

Oh, blimey!

MUSIC: "Sunshine Superman" by Donovan.

# Sunshine came softly # Through my a-window today... # JAMES: Society needs to get back to loose-leaf, don't they?

DAVID: You know what, James?

We were saying this yesterday.

Sometimes taking a couple of steps back is a leap forward.

JAMES: Yeah.

VO: Such scintillating conversation, chaps!

JAMES: How's Melanie?

DAVID: Oh, she's brilliant.

She's easy-going, and just a delight to be with.

DAVID: And I'm imagining Peter's exactly the same.

JAMES: You mention anybody you quite like within the theater or film world, Peter's worked with them.

He's worked with Miley Cyrus in America.

DAVID: Really?

JAMES: Hannah Montana.

He said the interesting thing was going to get a working visa, and the American lady looked at his visa application and said, "Hannah Montana?"

Stamp!

VO: Fancy that!

I don't think it would survive going down the cobbles, to be honest.

MELANIE: No, it wouldn't.

It'd be quite uncomfortable.

PETER: It would.

I don't think it would suit... MELANIE: A-wuh-wuh-wuh... PETER: ..you know.

VO: The suspension is not up to much, but there's plenty of boot space.

Currently, yesterday's goodies!

Quite looking forward to seeing them.

So shall we pull over and we can have a look at them?

Have a look.

See what you think.

MELANIE: The big boot reveal.

PETER: Ha-ha!

VO: Come on, let's have a gander.

Right.

Gonna see what you've got.

VO: Peter and JB have been busy bees.

I love the fact that we can hold history.

VO: They spent £105 on the terracotta exotic figure of a lady, and an art deco three-piece plated tea set, leaving Peter and James with £295.

So, Pete, what have you got, then?

Show me.

Tell me.

Well, er, care for a cup of tea?

MELANIE: That's nice.

PETER: Sugar bowl and a milk jug all in the same, art deco... Do you know, I would actually buy that.

PETER: That was £30.

MELANIE: (GASPS) PETER: Yep.

MELANIE: The whole lot?

PETER: Yep.

Whole caboodle.

Oh, that's really good.

Rather nice.

What about her?

MELANIE: So I love her.

PETER: She's nice, isn't she?

MELANIE: Yeah, she is nice.

PETER: Hello.

Look at her.

She's about 1890.

In the Austro-Hungarian style.

MELANIE: Oh, really?

PETER: Yes.

And we've got a maker's mark.

We paid 75 for her.

MELANIE: Right.

PETER: I know.

It's beautiful.

I like her.

Unfortunately, it does look very good.

VO: While Mel... We've got to have it.

VO: ..went for it, buying four items for £199, leaving them with £201 in their wallet.

That's you.

Thank you very much, indeed.

MELANIE: I absolutely love this.

It's an old ping timer.

Does it ping?

It pings, yeah, and it ticks.

And I just thought... Go on, then.

Let's listen, let's listen.

(TIMER TICKS) MELANIE: Can you hear it?

PETER: I can.

MELANIE: And this... PETER: What is that?

I know, I've got to tell you about this.

It's ancient, and it's a drinking cup.

It's damaged.

But I think somebody, because it's so unusual... What animal is it?

Is it a horse?

It's a horse.

Yeah.

This cost £35.

PETER: I think you've done well there, Mel.

Right, see you later.

PETER: See you later.

Happy hunting.

VO: While Mel goes off to find David, we will stay with Peter.

He is Castle Donnington bound.

Once Removed Antiques is today's shopping venue of choice for Mr Gunn.

This shop has been on the go since 2014 and has antique furniture to curios and collectables.

Now, I spy a Brackers!

JAMES: Ah!

Morning, James, how are you doing?

Very well, Peter.

Very well.

JAMES: I tell you what, Peter, I found these rather, rather strange... PETER: What have you found?

JAMES: ..sort of bisque headed... Bisque.

Biscuit Porcelain.

PETER: Biscuit?

JAMES: Yeah.

Biscuit.

JAMES: Sort of porcelain.

These rather strange dolls' heads.

JAMES: Are they working for you?

They're working for me.

Are they?

Are you sure?

PETER: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I like those.

And what about the weight?

JAMES: I'm just trying... (CHUCKLES) PETER: We like the weight!

JAMES: Hold on.

Alright... Have they got a good weight?

Don't rush... (DOLLS' HEADS CLATTER) Ooh, don't rush me!

(LAUGHS) JAMES: This one's got a lovely weight.

Has that got a good weight?

And, you know, when you feel something, it feels heavier than it should... PETER: Yeah, yeah, you know it's quality.

You know it's quality.

A bit like myself.

JAMES: Like myself.

Yeah, exactly.

Like you.

Yeah, yeah.

Have you ever... have you played Hamlet?

As Barry, my agent, once said, "You know you'll never play Romeo, don't you?"

So... No, I've never played Hamlet.

I don't think I will.

Why not?

I'm not built for it.

JAMES: Aren't you?

PETER: No.

What does a Hamlet have to look like?

I think slim.

So Hamlet's got to be slim?

PETER: Yeah.

JAMES: So I'm out as well.

Yeah!

You and me, kid, we're the gravediggers!

VO: And jolly good ones you'd both make!

What do you think of these bisque heads?

I like them.

I think they're really good.

VO: Bisque dolls have a skin-like matte finish, and were super popular in the 19th century in France and Germany.

I think we're on track there.

Yeah, I think we're "a head".

JAMES: A hea... Yeah.

VO: Boom, boom!

The dolls' heads are unpriced.

What else?

Peter has £295 to spend in here.

PETER: Observer books.

Part of my childhood.

Absolutely love these.

They're so informative.

My favorite is here.

You know what it is?

Commercial Vehicles.

I have this very book.

I absolutely love this book.

I know every single truck in it.

It gives you all the details.

Honestly, look, it gives you everything about... Everything you need to know.

The one I've got is so well used.

But, honestly, if you want to know anything, get these.

VO: Ha-ha.

Keep on trucking, Pete.

The other thing here is this.

A voltmeter.

My dad, when he was alive, he used these.

He was an electrician.

I absolutely love them.

And the fact that they're now here as decorative objects, I think is fantastic.

I love seeing those.

There's two things there - my childhood.

VO: Less reminiscing, more buying.

PETER: Oh, hello!

JAMES: Hello.

Look, I'm just getting in training.

Yeah, you've got it.

I like the stance.

Do you like the stance?

I think it's all about getting low, isn't it?

PETER: It is.

Yes.

Delivery of the ball.

And giving it a good...wang.

PETER: Where would they be from, though?

I think from a pub.

It was a pub thing, wasn't it?

A pub game, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know in the West Country, Devon... Old fashioned... JAMES: ..have a lot of... PETER: Yes.

JAMES: ..skittle alleys.

PETER: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

PETER: Wooden.

JAMES: Wooden ones.

PETER: Yeah.

What a noise.

VO: Nine-pin bowling was popular in the early-19th century, but in 1830s America it was banned in several cities due to moral panic over destruction of the work ethic.

JAMES: It's all complete.

We've got two balls, we've got nine pins.

PETER: Yeah, and...

I like how they look like they've been properly played with and used.

VO: Ticket price, £75.

JAMES: Have we decided... PETER: I think we have, yeah.

JAMES: ..Peter?

PETER: So... JAMES: What, it's five?

PETER: Five heads... JAMES: Five heads.. PETER: ..and the nine skittles.

JAMES: Nine skittles, five and nine.

JAMES: What is that?

PETER: Brighton line.

VO: They're like the two Ronnies, these two!

"Fork 'andles, anyone?"

Stand by, Philip.

Five heads first.

Philip, what price are they, Philip?

Well, I have been selling them about £5 each.

But if you're buying five, you can have five for £10.

You alright, James?

PHILIP: Because I've got a lot of those.

PETER: That's brilliant.

Thank you very much.

That's great.

Yeah, very, very... That's brilliant.

VO: And the skittles?

PHILIP: I've got 75 on those.

It depends what you're... 45?

Ooh, that's a bit too... PETER: Yeah, no problem.

I'd be more happy at 55.

JAMES: Very happy.

PETER: That'd be brilliant.

PETER: £10 and 55... JAMES: 65...

I knew that.

I knew that.

VO: What a double act, eh?

Nice work, you two.

JAMES: What a day!

PETER: I know!

JAMES: What a day!

It's alright, James, I'll bring these.

JAMES: Sorry, it's me hernia.

PETER: Alright.

VO: Ugh, too much information, Jimbo!

Now, where are Melanie and David?

DAVID: Now Melanie, what was London like in the early eighties, and RADA?

Well, it was just the stuff of dreams, really.

DAVID: Yes.

MELANIE: My drama teacher said, "Why don't you try out?"

From what I remember, I made a hash of it.

DAVID: Right.

MELANIE: But... And then you got the offer.

MELANIE: And then I got in.

DAVID: And how did that feel?

Oh, it was... My mum, I always remember my mum running up the stairs, screaming.

And I was like, "What the hell's the matter?"

DAVID: "What's happened?"

She's like, "You're in!

You're in!"

MELANIE: So she opened my mail.

DAVID: Aww!

But I don't blame her for that.

VO: Our duo are in the heart of England.

Tutbury in Staffordshire.

We're stepping back to Tudor England, and the medieval grandeur of Tutbury Castle.

This fearsome fortress would become a regal prison for one of the most controversial and glamorous figures of the momentous 16th century.

Mary Queen of Scots.

Melanie and David are meeting with curator Lesley Smith to find out more about the medieval beauty secrets of a Tudor royal.

Welcome, both of you, to Tutbury Castle.

DAVID: Hello!

MELANIE: Hi!

Lovely to see you.

DAVID: Lovely to see you, too.

The castle kind of talks to you if you look, you know, and discover who was here.

VO: A Renaissance queen of nearly six feet tall, Mary's beauty and considerable power posed a huge threat to her cousin, Elizabeth I.

And she was stunning to look at.

And it's one of the reasons Elizabeth had her locked up here four times, once for 11 months.

VO: Elizabeth was fearful of her crown being toppled.

But despite making her beautiful cousin a prisoner, she didn't deny Mary her luxuries.

MELANIE: So, if Mary Queen of Scots had stayed here, was locked up here for that long, and you said she was very beautiful, did they look after her in any special way or... LESLEY: Yes, surprisingly.

Effort was made actually in the early days cuz she was related to most of the royal houses of Europe.

VO: Over 450 years before Instagram - ha!

- and hot-shot influencers, the rival royals set the fashion and beauty trends.

And right here, Mary had a glam squad all of her own.

LESLEY: I'm going to take you over the Herb Garden, and have a look, because we know her apothecary was there.

VO: The Herb Garden was a must for tending to Tudor top-to-toe health and beauty remedies.

LESLEY: This was an absolutely vital part of life in a place like this, and in great houses.

Originally, they had been almost entirely in the gardens of monasteries, where healing was done.

Mary herself will have had the best treatment, she would have had her limbs anointed for certain.

Perfumes, oils.. MELANIE: Would they have moisturizers?

Yeah, yeah, the creams were almond based, some of them.

MELANIE: Right.

LESLEY: And they had soap.

It was called Castile, but it wasn't Knights Castile, it came from Castile!

LESLEY: And it was scented with herbs or roses or honeysuckle.

Nice.

And when she was here, we know she had a very expensive hairdresser.

MELANIE: I bet the wigs were a bit whiffy as well.

LESLEY: Well, not least of all, because we dyed our hair with urine if we wanted to be blonde.

And if you're normally brown, then you can get a nice red color.

People wanted to look like Elizabeth and Mary.

I mean, that was the fashion.

VO: The health and beauty marketplace would have the physician at the top, and the wise women and witches at the bottom.

Who you went to depended on your wallet.

MELANIE: It's kind of holistic medicine, what is now...

Isn't it?

LESLEY: It is very much holistic.

No, it definitely is.

It's treating the whole body, and it's sort of a functional thing, isn't it?

Which I prefer myself.

Well, you feel like there's the whole approach, rather than, "We're just gonna drill that off."

MELANIE: Yeah.

LESLEY: You know, that's right.

VO: Blimey.

No, thanks.

Inside the Great Hall, more treats await.

LESLEY: Pull off the rose petals and smell it first.

It smells gorgeous.

Oh, ooh!

Beautiful!

LESLEY: I know, it's overwhelming.

Put some of those in.

We've got some lavender, mint.

Oh, it's gorgeous.

And that's a kind of real Tudor smell.

If you were quite well off, you'd put peppercorns in or other things.

MELANIE: Do you know what I used to do when I was a little girl?

I used to put petals, rose petals, and make perfume.

And my mummy gave me a little bottle.

We used to go and bring back roses.

We probably pinched them out of the neighbor's garden.

DAVID: Popular!

MELANIE: But then pull off the petals, and put them in a bottle, and keep them for like weeks.

VO: Mary Queen of Scots would have smelt divine with such beautiful oils and potions, but the Tudors were a smelly bunch.

They didn't bathe or launder their clothes.

MELANIE: I just think it's unbelievable that you're showing me all this, and then it's something that I have actually experienced, and the legacy has been passed on to myself in my childhood.

More in the last 20 years, we've become very aware of the legacy of herbs and scented oils, aromatics, how good they are for us, and how much more they're used than they were at one time.

So really, the medicine has given us a way to think about things in a new way.

VO: Despite Mary Queen of Scots being imprisoned, it was a gilded cage.

She was granted the comforts of her status.

Her very own apothecary was essential, because it was so important in 16th century Britain.

And what royalty did, the rest of us followed.

How goes it in the Gentleman's Express?

JAMES: Peter, what do you think of the car?

PETER: I like it.

It suits me.

Bit of an old ship about it.

A bit like a stately galleon.

JAMES: It is, it is.

So it could be, how many miles to the galleon?

Not many!

Not many!

VO: We're off to the town of Heanor in Derbyshire, home to the world's oldest Christmas pudding maker, and Heanor Antiques Centre.

JAMES: I've been here before.

PETER: You've been here before?

JAMES: It's big.

PETER: We need to focus.

JAMES: Focus.

PETER: Let's focus.

Come on.

PETER: We can do this.

VO: A veritable city of antiques, there are 200 dealers selling in here.

(BUMPS INTO SOME ANTIQUES) Oh, hello!

PETER: (CHUCKLES) The band's gone home!

VO: Quite.

He's got feet like boats!

Have we been this way... JAMES: I tell you what I'm doing.

I'm just sort of trying to find... PETER: Go left.

Go left.

Go left.

JAMES: If it's a different light tone, I feel as though I haven't been here before.

PETER: Go left.

VO: It's a labyrinth in here.

The fellas have four items in the bag and £230 to splurge.

Ooh, ha-ha!

That looks familiar!

PETER: Look at this.

This is a skittle, just like we've bought in Castle Donington, and we bought nine for £55.

So, these... £40 each.

So if somebody has got the time to make a lamp out of each one of them, then they're quids in.

VO: They could make a boule fortune.

DAVID: Here we are.

MELANIE: Here we are.

Perfect spot for us.

MELANIE: Lovely.

DAVID: Takes a while to get out.

MELANIE: There we are.

I've got the knack of it, now.

DAVID: Oh, you've done it.

You've mastered it.

VO: And you haven't!

Ha ha!

Yeah.

Let's go round here.

VO: Melanie and David have £201 left.

DAVID: What have you got there?

Chessboard?

That's really nice.

I really like it.

MELANIE: I like the colors.

MELANIE: Yeah, it's quite heavy as well.

So what do you think?

Well, it's nice and it's vintage, isn't it?

MELANIE: Yeah, it is.

DAVID: It's not brand-new is it?

How old would the oldest chessboard be?

Here's a quiz question for you.

Very old.

Very old is the correct answer.

DAVID: She's very good.

MELANIE: (LAUGHS) I won!

How old, then?

1,500 years old, the game of chess.

MELANIE: Really?

DAVID: About that.

And where did it originate?

DAVID: India, I believe.

MELANIE: India?

I believe it was India.

It's £60.

We've got £201 to spend.

DAVID: I know.

You want to blow it, don't you?

I think we should.

I mean, I'd like to spend the whole lot if we can.

DAVID: I would.

MELANIE: We need to move on.

DAVID: OK.

I've got a feeling something better is coming.

DAVID: Let's go and try and blow our money.

DAVID: Go on.

You lead the way.

It's all pottery, isn't it?

VO: On the other side of the shop, I think they're lost.

PETER: Look at that.

JAMES: Chopper!

Did you have a Chopper?

JAMES: Cuz we're of that age... Wasn't allowed one.

JAMES: Yeah.

PETER: Dangerous.

JAMES: Dangerous.

PETER: Apparently.

Kid across the road had one.

JAMES: Yeah.

PETER: He was alright.

DAVID: I'd have a go at that.

I mean, rocking horses... Yeah.

The tail's nice.

There's a big market for rocking horses.

MELANIE: Still in good nick.

DAVID: Yeah.

It wants a proper restoration.

MELANIE: Yeah.

DAVID: Mel, people love restoring these things.

DAVID: Check his ears for damage.

MELANIE: Yeah, slightly.

Not too bad, actually.

DAVID: Is he missing an eye?

MELANIE: Yes, he's missing an eye.

DAVID: That's fine.

They've been making rocking horses like this for a very long time.

It's got a real Victorian look to him.

MELANIE: Victorian.

DAVID: But I think he's a bit later.

MELANIE: Oh, right.

DAVID: So I think, safe to say, early 20th century.

MELANIE: Right.

So kind of, say, 1920s.

VO: The Victorians loved rocking horses.

In this era, the secret compartment was created to store photographs and locks of babies' hair for future generations to discover.

DAVID: Did you have anything similar, Mel, as a child?

MELANIE: Do you know what?

I would have loved a rocking horse, and we could never afford one.

Right.

And it was, this is like a fantasy to me, as a child, I would have loved one.

I love this.

VO: Ticket price is £295.

Yike!

How much have we got?

Now, by my reckoning, we've got 200.

201.

I would throw everything.

Yeah.

Do you think?

DAVID: I'd throw everything at it.

It's a lot of money off it, isn't it?

VO: Stand by, Geoff.

MELANIE: Now, we've only got a certain amount of money left.

OK. We have £201.

GEOFF: Right...

So this is a massive...

I know it's a lot to ask, but the money's right there.

The cash is right there in front of your eyes.

Can I just give the dealer a quick call?

Would that be OK?

Yes, that's fair enough.

VO: Well, this might be spur of the moment, but there's "neigh" a chance Mel is leaving without it.

JAMES: Now, this is something... PETER: What?

Derbyshire Feldspar.

Have you come across this before?

PETER: Oh, yeah!

So this is Blue John, and it's this amazing semi-precious stone.

JAMES: It's very rare.

It's an exotic material.

And there was a very famous silversmith, Matthew Boulton Metalworks.

PETER: Yeah?

The father of Birmingham.

PETER: Yeah.

Who put them in great sort of mercury gilded frames and made them into exotic ornaments.

PETER: They're rather beautiful, aren't they?

JAMES: Aren't they lovely?

PETER: Yeah.

JAMES: Lovely pieces.

But slightly beyond our budget, aren't they?

VO: Just a touch!

How's Mel getting on with her old nag?

Not David, the rocker.

DAVID: Oh, here he is.

I managed to speak to the owner, and he'll accept £201.

Oh, thank you so much!

You're on a winner!

MELANIE: Yes!

DAVID: Oh, you're a star.

MELANIE: That's amazing, thank you very much.

MELANIE: Please thank him very much.

GEOFF: I will do.

MELANIE: What are we going to do now?

MELANIE: Have another look about.

We'll go beg a cup of tea, because we can't even afford a cup of tea, come on.

Right.

Good.

Good thinking.

VO: Blimey!

Melanie has blown every single penny!

The game is definitely on.

I wonder what they're doing, then.

They're either lazing around or they're not very good at buying... PETER: (WHISTLES) Oh, hello!

MELANIE: Hello!

PETER: Alright?

Yeah.

How's it going?

JAMES: Struggling here.

DAVID: Struggling?

We're struggling as well.

PETER: Yeah, are you?

We're rushed off our feet, aren't we?

PETER: Yeah, you look like you're struggling, don't you?

Cheers.

We're struggling because we've run out of money.

DAVID: We've blown the lot.

PETER: No!

DAVID: Literally.

MELANIE: Yeah.

DAVID: Every pound.

MELANIE: Every pound.

PETER: Well, good on you.

JAMES: That's marvelous.

PETER: Well, we're pleased for you.

MELANIE: Cheers.

PETER: Cheers to you, yeah.

DAVID: You're pleased?

That wasn't very sincere!

PETER: Was it not?

You're meant to be an actor!

It wasn't very good.

Not me, love, no.

Wrong department.

If I was watching Coronation Street I'd say, "I don't believe that."

PETER: No, no.

MELANIE: You crack on!

JAMES: Bye.

PETER: Nice seeing you!

VO: Come on, fellas, get spending.

Do you know what?

I've always liked sculpture.

This has a sort of French Impressionist Degas look.

Yeah, yeah.

The bronzes.

Yeah, you know, he did those studies of ballerinas.

Yeah, very much like that, yeah.

Look at me, on the barre.

JAMES: Look at you on the barre!

MUSIC: "Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairy", by Tchaikovsky.

JAMES: That's very good, very nice.

PETER: You run, I'll lift you!

PETER: Can you imagine?

Ooh!

VO: Very ambitious, Peter.

She's fabricated in France, made of terracotta.

JAMES: Like a flowerpot.

PETER: Yeah, yeah.

And then just painted to look like bronze.

PETER: Yeah, yeah.

She has a haughtiness, doesn't she?

Mm, yeah.

JAMES: The haughtiness and poise of... Of a ballet da... JAMES: Of a... (LAUGHS) Of a ballet dancer.

It's lovely.

JAMES: Lovely footwork.

PETER: Thank you.

And priced at £75.

PETER: OK.

But I've got a feeling this could be cheaper.

VO: Ros is the lady in command.

Finally, we found something.

ROS: Oh, good.

PETER: Yeah.

There she is.

Alright.

She's on the ticket at 75.

Mm.

We were thinking, well, I've been trained by James, so I was thinking 45?

ROS: Mmm.

That's a bit too... JAMES: Bit low.

PETER: Is it?

ROS: ..too low.

Well, I have been trained by James.

ROS: Yeah, 55?

JAMES: I think that's perfect.

PETER: That would be fantastic.

That'd be great.

VO: Well done, boys.

Another beautiful lady to add to the collection.

JAMES: I'm pleased, are you?

PETER: I'm very pleased.

That was a great place.

VO: The shopping is now done and dusted.

DAVID: This has been a great adventure with you.

MELANIE: Hasn't it?

Yeah, I've really enjoyed it.

Thanks for all your little tips.

DAVID: Well, no, my pleasure.

And I shall carry them with me.

JAMES: I'm parched.

Do you know what?

I'm parched as well.

PETER: As they say up our way... JAMES: Yeah?

PETER: I'm as dry as a tram driver's glove.

JAMES: I think we need a pint.

Oh, yes!

JAMES: Do you think so?

PETER: Yeah.

Are you gonna have the £4.50 or the £5.50?

I'm gonna have the £5.50 because you're paying.

VO: Time for some shuteye!

VO: We're viewing the auction showdown in Manchester.

And on their way are two excitable best buds.

Our rendezvous point is the Museum Of Transport, Greater Manchester.

Home to the rich history of public transport in the city from 1824.

DAVID: Oh!

JAMES: Here they come!

DAVID: Starsky and Hutch!

JAMES: Look at this!

DAVID: Looks good.

JAMES: What a car!

MELANIE: Smart, eh?

DAVID: Very good.

Melanie, you look lovely.

MELANIE: Thank you.

DAVID: Yeah, really lovely.

Get yourselves in the motoring museum.

MELANIE: Right!

JAMES: Go on!

VO: After a steam around Staffordshire, Leicestershire and Derbyshire, the gang are in Manchester.

While their goods have been packaged and sent to Newport in Shropshire.

Home to Brettells, with bidders in the room, online, and open to commission bids across the globe.

Peter spent £225 on five top lots.

Let's see what auctioneer Gemima Brettell thinks is the auction hottie.

So, the bust.

This has been one of the most watched lots this week in the sale, actually.

And I see this doing very well on the rostrum today.

VO: Exciting.

Looks like Houdon to me.

Anyway, Mel blew the lot, also on five lots.

What's your fave, Gemima?

The blue leather butterfly chair, mid-century magic.

Very popular piece.

Should do well today.

VO: Ding, ding!

Time to get on the auction express in Manchester.

DAVID: Do you feel anxious and nervous?

I think Mel's done well.

I think you've done very well.

DAVID: Yeah.

So we'll have to see, won't we?

DAVID: Shall we find out now?

MELANIE: Yeah.

DAVID: Let's do it.

GEMIMA: Well... VO: Tablets at the ready.

Let the auction begin.

It's Peter's exotic lady up first.

10 now bid, at 10 now.

DAVID: 10?

GEMIMA: 12.

PETER: 12!

GEMIMA: 15.

I've got it in the room this time, 15.

GEMIMA: Do you want to go 18 online?

18.

PETER: 18.

GEMIMA: At £20 in the room, at £20 now.

Come on, who dares wins.

22, go on, one more.

25, thank you very much.

DAVID: Ooh!

PETER: 25!

Come on.

I'm shocked at that, I am actually shocked.

PETER: You're shocked?

GEMIMA: At 25 going once... GEMIMA: ..and twice, and third and final call.

I'm selling then.

25.

28.

DAVID: Oh!

PETER: Somebody's come in!

MELANIE: What is going on?

When is it ever gonna end?

At £28 online, once and twice and third.

And this is it.

GEMIMA: I'm selling away... 30!

DAVID: Oh!

Have we got till Tuesday?

They can't...

They don't believe it, you see.

DAVID: Yeah.

JAMES: Keep going, girl.

Final time for £30.

DAVID: Oh, bad luck.

So, that's a shame, It's a bad start for you guys.

PETER: £30.

JAMES: 30.

VO: Not to worry.

Let's keep going.

JAMES: The ebb and flow of life.

The tide comes in, the tide goes out.

JAMES: Yeah, yeah.

VO: Right, Mel, you're next with the art deco Bakelite desk set.

35, at 35.

38 now bid, at 38 online.

DAVID: Come on.

GEMIMA: Battling it away.

Come on.

You're good, pet.

At 38 now, at 38.

Do I see 40?

At £38.

Are we gonna leave it there?

Don't do it.

JAMES: Yeah, leave it there!

Leave it there!

And twice, and third and final time.

So we've made more of a loss.

VO: Didn't expect that.

Beautiful bargain for someone.

We were looking all smug, weren't we?

MELANIE: Yeah, we were.

(LAUGHS) Rookie mistake.

VO: Let's see if Peter's art deco three piece tea set is more attractive.

GEMIMA: £20.

£10 for it.

Make it a fiver.

GEMIMA: 10 bid now.

12, 15.

GEMIMA: At 15 bid now.

Do I see 18?

At 15 bid then here we are.

18.

GEMIMA: At 18, I'm selling away, then.

Sold then, online for £18.

Here we go at 18.

I can't believe how cheap that is.

DAVID: I know, I know.

I mean, I'm gonna have to go to auctions more often.

DAVID: Yeah.

VO: A total snip of a price.

But doesn't it just goes to show how cheap antiques are?

JAMES: Yeah.

PETER: Absolutely, absolutely.

The idea antiques are expensive is bonkers.

Yeah, it is because that is a really lovely tea set for £18.

DAVID: It's 100 years old.

MELANIE: Yeah.

It would've cost you four coffees.

Exactly!

VO: Make way for Mel's beloved 1950s pinger timer.

I can start the bidding in at £20, at £20.

GEMIMA: At £20 now, where's two anywhere?

Go on.

JAMES: Hey.

DAVID: Has she got 20?

GEMIMA: Anywhere at £20?

Do I see any more interest here?

Selling away online then.

Last chance.

PETER: Well, you know... DAVID: It could have been worse.

MELANIE: £20.

VO: Shame it didn't ping a profit, Mel.

Thanks for being kind to me.

DAVID: No, that's really good.

MELANIE: Thanks, David.

VO: Can Peter get ahead with the dolls' heads?

GEMIMA: 10 bid in the room.

At £10.

Where is 12?

At £10 in the room.

GEMIMA: I'm looking for 12 now.

12 is bid.

Do you want to go 15?

15 is bid now.

DAVID: They're flying.

GEMIMA: At 15 bid.

GEMIMA: At 15 bid now.

18, and 20 to you, my dear?

20, bid.

DAVID: Oh!

PETER: Hey, come on!

GEMIMA: 22, and 25?

22 online.

GEMIMA: At 22 then.

25.

DAVID: Wow!

PETER: Wow!

GEMIMA: At 25 now, come in again at 28?

PETER: Come on.

GEMIMA: Thank you again.

But thank you.

At £28 online, final warning at £28.

PETER: Brilliant.

MELANIE: Remarkable.

JAMES: That was very good.

DAVID: Yeah, well done.

PETER: Well done.

DAVID: Good find.

VO: Little bit spooky.

But who cares?

You've made a profit.

Next up is Mel's rhyton cup.

GEMIMA: £30, then.

Start me at 30.

GEMIMA: Ooh, £30 bid.

MELANIE: Yay!

DAVID: Yay!

JAMES: Well done!

GEMIMA: At £30, at £30 now, do I see two anywhere?

At £30, coming in at two?

At £30.

Final warning at 30... Two!

Yes, we've got another bid!

PETER: No!

JAMES: Have you?

Five... At 35.

MELANIE: Broke even!

GEMIMA: Go on, quickly, have another go.

DAVID: Come on.

GEMIMA: 38, at 38.

GEMIMA: It's a great thing, this.

40, at 40.

DAVID: Come on.

GEMIMA: At 42!

Yes, it's flying!

It's flying.

45.

GEMIMA: 48.

I can't believe this.

GEMIMA: 48.

£50.

DAVID: Come on!

PETER: 50!

GEMIMA: At £50.

DAVID: Let's go 55.

MELANIE: I'm actually... PETER: It's a flying horse.

MELANIE: ..gobsmacked.

They know, James, there are people out there that know.

GEMIMA: I'm selling away online for £50.

DAVID: Yeah!

JAMES: Well done.

MELANIE: That's well done.

that's brilliant.

DAVID: That's good.

I'm pleased with that.

VO: Just when we thought it was all over.

Well done, Mel.

I'm in shock.

PETER: No, that's really good.

JAMES: That's very good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

VO: Right, boys.

The nine pin pub skittles are next.

GEMIMA: 30.

DAVID: Oh, not bad.

GEMIMA: Two, five, eight.

40.

GEMIMA: 40.

Five.

Eight.

50.

GEMIMA: Five.

£60.

At £60.

GEMIMA: At £60 now.

JAMES: Profit!

PETER: Come on.

GEMIMA: ..65, 70.

At £70 now.

She's very good.

She's very good, Mel.

GEMIMA: Do I see five anywhere?

75 now.

Do I see 80 anywhere?

I've got it online then at £75.

I'm pleased for you.

Honestly, I am pleased.

PETER: Yeah, thank you.

JAMES: Who'd have thought it?

Who?

Yeah.

VO: Looks like the bidders love a pub game.

Let's have a flutter with Mel's 20th century butterfly chair.

GEMIMA: At 50, five, 60, five, 70, five, £80.

DAVID: Yes!

JAMES: Wahey!

PETER: What?

JAMES: Well done.

DAVID: Come on, Melanie.

GEMIMA: At £90 now.

Where's five, anywhere?

£90.

Five.

100, at 100.

PETER: What?!

DAVID: You've got a new career!

GEMIMA: 110 anywhere?

At £100.

DAVID: Come on!

PETER: What?

GEMIMA: I'm selling away online for £100.

Here we go, at 100.

DAVID: Melanie!

MELANIE: Clawed it back.

JAMES: Well done.

DAVID: Well done, you.

JAMES: Well done.

DAVID: You found it.

MELANIE: Yeah, I did.

PETER: Well done.

VO: At last, a big, juicy profit, Melanie.

Peter's French terracotta bust after Houdon next.

GEMIMA: Huge interest on this.

DAVID: Oh!

MELANIE: Ahhh!

GEMIMA: The most watched lot of the week.

DAVID: What?

Anyway, start the bidding in at 35.

38, 40, two, five... GEMIMA: I jump to £80.

DAVID: It's flying.

MELANIE: A-ha!

GEMIMA: 85.

GEMIMA: Let's not waste time here.

At 85.

DAVID: It's flying!

GEMIMA: 85.

GEMIMA: Do I see 90?

At 85.

Come on, keep going.

GEMIMA: Go 90?

At 85.

85, now can we get a 90 bid?

At 95, 100.

PETER: Ah!

DAVID: Wow!

I've got goosebumps all up me back.

MELANIE: That's really good.

For £100, here we go at 100.

DAVID: Well done.

JAMES: Well done.

PETER: Well done, James.

JAMES: Well done.

JAMES: Well done.

PETER: Good eye.

VO: She pirouetted a pretty profit.

Great result.

That was quite good, wasn't it?

PETER: I really enjoyed that.

Even though it was yours, I was going, "Oh, my God, go."

VO: The theater of auction, Mel.

It's the final lot.

Mel's big ticket item, the rocking horse.

Yeah, I can start the bidding in at 55, 60.

Five, 70, five.

GEMIMA: £80.

At £80.

JAMES: It's done well.

GEMIMA: Now, do I see five anywhere?

DAVID: Come on, Melanie.

PETER: It's doing alright.

At £80 online.

Looking for five.

Quickly bid.

At £80 then... DAVID: Ouch!

GEMIMA: Going once... DAVID: No.

No!

MELANIE: Ah!

GEMIMA: Third and final warning... DAVID: No!

Selling away for £80, here we go, for £80.

DAVID: Oh, it's killed us.

MELANIE: What a nightmare.

DAVID: The horse has killed us.

PETER: Hard cheese.

VO: One word.

Ouch!

Oh, be kind.

JAMES: I'm not taking any pleasure from this, Melanie.

VO: Rein it in, you two.

You will "stirrup" trouble.

MELANIE: Is that it?

DAVID: Yeah, I think so.

MELANIE: No!

DAVID: Yeah, that's it.

Oh, I was enjoying that.

VO: Ah-ha, me too.

Let's tot up the numbers.

Melanie and David began with £400.

After all auction costs, they've made a loss of £163.84, ending with £236 and 16 pennies.

Peter and James commenced with £400 and made a loss of £19.18.

They have ended with £380.82, making them today's happy winners.

DAVID: Fabulous.

Thank you.

PETER: Well done.

Thanks.

It was really, really good fun.

JAMES: Great fun.

Yeah, no, well done everybody.

DAVID: After you, Mel.

Well done, you.

PETER: It's about taking part, isn't it?

DAVID: Well, yeah, that's what we think.

PETER: But we did win.

VO: Peter!

Time to giddy up and head for home.

Ta-ra, chooks!

(CAR HORN TOOTS) subtitling@stv.tv