♪ ♪ [Kate Sullivan] It's called the concrete jungle: New York City.

The place where dreams are made.

And here in the heart of the vibrant, eclectic East Village stands an unassuming icon.

A place still simmering for 30 years with the aroma of an American dream.

It is where I am meeting another dreamer, real estate entrepreneur, Robert Reffkin.

[Kate] Hi Robert.

Thank you for doing this.

[Robert Reffkin] Yeah, of course.

[Kate] Robert took to these New York streets himself as a determined college kid and followed them all the way to the top of his own American dream come true.

[Robert] The person who believes they can and the person believes they cannot are both right.

I've always believed you can.

[Kate] Today, he is taking me to his favorite restaurant to experience the delicious joy of Japanese shabu-shabu.

[Kate] We're primed and ready.

[Robert] There's so much to do.

[Kate] We've got water bubbling.

Take me through it.

[Robert] Things are really good, right now.

All right.

[Kate] And hear the full story of how growing up as the son of an unwaveringly optimistic single mother, equipped him with a mindset for soaring success.

[Robert] I love having the name Reffkin because it's almost a sign that I can create my own life.

[Kate] And set him on a path to building the largest real estate brokerage firm in America today.

[Robert] Caring can be a competitive advantage, just listening to the person and what they want.

[Kate] Just simply caring.

[Kate] And ultimately, we hear how Robert Reffkin found his way home all by embracing a bit of destiny and following the instincts of a strong inner compass.

[Robert] The most valuable asset you have as a person is your energy.

And there are two kinds of people, people that give you energy and people that take it away.

I think surround yourself with people that give you energy.

♪ [Kate] What's better in life than a bottle of wine, great food and an amazing conversation?

My name is Kate Sullivan and I am the host of To Dine For .

I'm a journalist, a foodie, a traveler, with an appetite for the stories of people who are hungry for more.

Dreamers.

Visionaries.

Artists.

Those who hustle hard in the direction they love.

I travel with them to their favorite restaurant, to hear how they did it.

This show is a toast to them and their American dream.

To Dine For with Kate Sullivan is made possible by... [Announcer] There are people in your life who count on you for what matters most.

American National agents are close to home and committed to our communities.

They'll help you find the right coverage for you, your family, even your farm and business.

You can learn more at americannational.com.

♪ ♪ Lavazza has worked towards perfecting the art of blending coffee for four generations, celebrating coffee in all its forms.

Lavazza Classico can be brewed however you take your coffee.

Lavazza.

Devoted to coffee since 1895.

[Kate] Hi, everyone.

Today I'm in the East Village of Manhattan on my way into a Japanese spot called Shabu-Tatsu.

The person who chose this as their favorite restaurant is a dreamer, a visionary, and one of the biggest names in real estate.

I can't wait for you to meet Robert Reffkin.

[Kate] Hi Robert.

Thank you for doing this.

[Robert] Yeah, of course.

[Kate] And thank you for bringing me to the East Village.

[Robert] Yeah, it's one of my favorite places.

I was here with my kids over the weekend.

[Kate] New York City's East Village, historically a haven for artists, activists, and immigrants who came here in search of a neighborhood to call home.

Today, as rents rise and a chic new style moves in, tucked on 10th Street in the shadow of St. Mark's Church, you can find a mainstay called Shabu-Tatsu, an enduring emblem of all that the East Village evokes.

Let me just tell you, I'm going to use a few real estate words.

This place is cozy and it's charming.

[Robert] It's historic.

[Kate] It's historic.

Of all the restaurants in New York City, you could have chosen anywhere.

Why did you choose Shabu-Tatsu?

[Robert] When I was a young 20 year old in New York City, I wanted to find the restaurants that'd be the best for a first date.

[Kate] Ohh.

[Robert] This was my you know first date for my- me and my wife.

[Kate] Oh wow.

[Robert] And I thought it'd be a great place that would show that I'm not stuffy... [Kate] Mm hm.

[Robert] ...that I'm cool.

[Kate] East Village.

[Robert] (chuckles) East Village right.

East Village.

And that I'm cultured, of course right.

[Kate] Yes, Japanese.

[Robert] Yeah, exactly.

[Kate] Shabu-shabu.

[Robert] And this is a fun place, right.

You're going to see in a moment, but you get to dip your food and have fun and enjoy and ask, what did you think about that?

[Kate] Yeah, it's an experience.

[Robert] It's an experience, a joyful one.

[Kate] Shabu-Tatsu was opened in 1992 by a Japanese immigrant turned local legend named Bon Yagi or Yagi-san, as he's sometimes called.

[Bon Yagi] It's like a neighborhood restaurant, but been here 30 years.

It hasn't been changed in 30 years.

[Kate] Bon Yagi came to the East Village in the 1970's, and he says he instantly found his place among the immigrant culture ripe with a vibrant entrepreneurial spirit.

[Bon Yagi] When I, you know put my first step in the East Village, I felt like I came home.

[Kate] In 1984, Bon Yagi opened his first Japanese restaurant in the East Village, starting the T.I.C.

Restaurant Group and creating authentic Japanese culinary experiences as he says it's like taking a trip to Japan without the airfare.

Today, we enjoy the delicious delight of shabu-shabu, which means "shake-shake" in Japanese and refers to the cook-it-yourself style featuring an assortment of traditional Japanese ingredients: thinly sliced Wagyu ribeye beef, prime rib, tofu, and traditional shirataki noodles along with a heaping pile of assorted vegetables including shiitake mushrooms, cabbage, scallions, carrots, and water cress.

The assortment is dipped into the steaming pot of hot water and then enjoyed with two delicious sauces, a house made ponzu sauce and a traditional sesame sauce.

It is the perfect place to sit down with Robert Reffkin to hear his story of staying true to his authentic roots and ending up with a thriving empire of his own.

[Kate] So I'm going to ask you, uh, where are you from and where is home to you now?

And because they're two different questions and they sometimes have different answers.

[Robert] That's a great question.

I'm from Berkeley, California.

I grew up there with just me and my Mom, a single parent.

[Kate] So that's where you're from, do you consider that home or is your answer today different?

[Robert] My answer today would definitely be New York.

This is where my children were born.

This is where I met my wife.

This is where it all happens.

This is where my dreams were made.

[Kate] Take me back to your childhood.

What were you like as a kid and tell me a little bit about growing up in Berkeley?

[Robert] Well, I was a very happy kid.

It was just me and my Mom, single parent.

She was actually disowned by her parents for having an interracial relationship.

She is an immigrant from Israel, came here when she was seven to New York.

Uh, her dad was the kind of person who wouldn't let her leave uh, the block.

[Kate] Wow, strict, strict, strict.

[Robert] She ended up moving to Berkeley, California, meeting a Black man.

And on the way she went to Woodstock, she said, 'I went to the real Woodstock.'

[Kate] A free spirit.

[Robert] A free spirit.

[Kate] Yes.

[Robert] Her dad ended up, again disowning her, uh, and I think that I was really the final draw.

I think it was really that he didn't approve of a strong-minded, independent young girl.

And so, I think they always had tension.

But my father was the kind of person who, he went, he moved from Louisiana to California to play jazz music.

[Kate] He was a musician.

[Robert] A musician.

And the way that I explain it to myself is that when you play jazz in the 60's and 70's, you do drugs that you don't come back from and so he was abusive to himself and to others, uh and ultimately was never around.

I think my Mom actually kind of ran away, but the way she describes it to me, he didn't want me to be like him, and so he made the choice to go.

[Kate] Your mother married a man named Gene Reffkin and you ended up taking the Reffkin name.

Can you talk to me about that decision and what it meant to you?

[Robert] So, my name is Robert Reffkin, and my last name is neither my mother's nor my father's.

It is from Gene Reffkin, who is my mother's first, only husband, but they got divorced before I was born, and she kept that name and he's my godfather.

I love having the name Reffkin because it's almost a sign that I can create my own life.

Like I don't have to take the challenges of my Mom's history or my father's.

And uh, and also I like alliteration.

[Kate] We started off with umaki, eel wrapped in an egg omelet as well as gyoza, pork dumplings, and a warm salted plate of edamame.

[Kate] Mmm... [Robert] Who doesn't like eggs?

Eggs with eel and... and the teriyaki.

[Kate] That's delicious.

That is delicious.

Wow, that's great.

You were a DJ and you created your own DJ business as a teenager.

You know, your father was a musician so I'm sure just a little part of that was in the back of your head, but what did that business teach you that helped you maybe today?

[Robert] Being a DJ between 14 through the end of high school where I was the most utilized disc jockey in the San Francisco Bay area.

[Kate] (Laughs) Was that your tagline?

[Robert] For 2 years in a row, yeah.

But I created something called the Rude Boy Productions guarantee, which meant I will... [Kate] Was that the name of your company?

[Robert] Rude Boy Productions.

[Kate] Okay.

[Robert] I had dreadlocks all the way down to here.

[Kate] Love it.

[Robert] I had a van that was only red, yellow, and green um, and I carried my DJ equipment, and I did bar mitzvahs, because I'm Jewish, and bat mitzvahs, I would do weddings, I would do private parties.

I would do, of course, a lot of school parties.

And so, the things I learned were one: caring can be a competitive advantage.

Just listening to the person and what they want.

[Kate] Just simply caring.

[Robert] Yeah.

It's amazing how many people listen to themselves, what they want to do, what they want to build.

I would just say 'give me 20 songs you want to play and I promise you, Rude Boy Productions guarantee, I will play those songs.

If not, I'll give you the money back.'

I would say I learned that the answers are everywhere around you and everyone wants to help you.

Like the person who believes they can and the person who says they cannot are both right.

I've always believed you can.

I was a part of something called A Better Chance, and it was a non-profit that helps people of color get into private schools and scholarships.

It just so happens that all these people in A Better Chance were on the dance committees of the private high schools all in the Bay Area- [Kate] Ahh.

[Robert] -and so they were my clients.

[Kate] Yes.

[Robert] I started to realize all these people want to help you.

[Kate] But that's a mindset, and that's a mindset that- [Robert] My Mom gave me.

[Kate] Was she like that?

She thought that?

[Robert] Yes.

She is the kind of person that gets excited by challenges.

You sit together and like how are we going to do this, how are we going to do that.

My admissions counselor at my high school said 'don't even apply to Columbia University, you'll never get in.'

[Kate] What?

[Robert] It's not even worth- You'll be wasting the money on the college application.

[Kate] Didn't you finish Columbia in two years?

[Robert] I ended up, but that's before I got in.

[Kate] Wow.

[Robert] Um, and I was a C student in high school.

And so my Mom said 'All right, how about this?

We'll go to New York together, you'll meet the admissions officer and then give him your business card.

We'll send faxes of all the things that you're doing, we'll update them.

You'll apply early.

We'll write the application together.'

[Kate] Wow.

[Robert] And we got in.

[Kate] We got in.

[Robert] We got in.

[Kate] Wow.

She really, really helped you.

[Robert] She did.

And I love her very much.

[Kate] She knew relationships, she knew how to do things and she knew how to make an impact.

[Robert] Yeah.

It's so sad.

My mother's father, I never really call him grandfather.

He actually, if she was a man, she would've loved him.

And if I was white, he would've loved me as well, because he was a business person.

I mean...it is probably in a weird way, she probably learned it all from him, I imagine.

[Kate] I wonder what your grandfather would think of you now seeing the incredible success you've had.

[Robert] When he passed away and when he died, he gave around a $100 dollars to her um, as part of his will.

Because he wanted her to know that on his deathbed, that he hated her, that he wanted her to fail.

[Kate] Oh that breaks my heart.

[Kate] Yeah.

[Kate] But your eternal optimism that I can feel, and I haven't known you very long, but I can feel that positive vibe that came from your mother.

You wonder where did she get that if that was her father?

[Robert] It's a really good question and I definitely know that she has her challenges with all that.

[Kate] Yeah.

It's the mark of character when someone, you know, meets you with negativity and you can smile and meet them with positivity, I think.

[Robert] I think the most valuable asset you have as a person is your energy.

And there are two kinds of people, people that give you energy and people that take it away.

I think surround yourself with people that give you energy.

[Kate] Amen.

I agree with that.

Okay, show me how to shabu-shabu.

[Robert] Things are really good right now.

Right.

[Kate] Okay, we are primed and ready.

[Robert] There's so much to do.

[Kate] We've got water bubbling.

Take me through it.

Robert is showing me how to shabu-shabu.

It's a simple process of taking your meat or vegetables, dipping them into boiling water to cook for a few minutes and then dipping them into the sauce of your choice.

[Robert] Put some of this in.

Stir it around.

[Kate] Okay.

[Robert] Mm.

Taste it.

(Kate laughs) Tastes just right.

[Kate] The foodie that you are, Robert.

I will have some as well.

[Robert] Exactly, you have to share.

[Kate] Okay.

Thank you.

[Robert] That's the whole point.

That's why it's a great date place.

[Kate] That's right.

[Robert] So this is, I think, Wagyu.

This is prime.

Let's start with prime.

[Kate] Great.

[Robert] Because... Then you go into Wagyu.

[Kate] Okay.

[Robert] All right so take one.

[Kate] Okay.

[Robert] You're going to love this.

[Kate] All right.

[Kate] Sharing shabu-shabu takes a warm team approach.

Something that Robert exudes so naturally, a quality that he took with him, along with his mother's optimism to New York City, where he would graduate early from Columbia University and start off in the business world by becoming one of the youngest analysts ever to work at the consulting firm, McKinsey and Company.

[Kate] I don't even know what this sauce is (laughs).

[Robert] It's good.

It's called good sauce.

[Kate] I'm putting it in the good sauce.

[Robert] Yeah (Chuckles).

[Kate] Mm.

[Robert] It's good, right?

[Kate] Mm hm.

Oh wow.

You finished Columbia in two years.

You became one of the youngest analysts to ever work at McKinsey and Company, what was that experience like?

[Robert] When I went to McKinsey, I realized how important it is to um, to be prepared.

I was not successful there.

I ended up going to Columbia Business School, and I took on the school very s-seriously.

Because I said I want to make sure like that when I get back into the workforce, I'm prepared.

But yeah, it was a very humbling experience to be around maybe the smartest group of people I've ever been around.

[Kate] And you were self-aware enough to identify the fact that you weren't prepared or didn't feel prepared?

[Robert] I was not prepared.

[Kate] After that, he took things more seriously, climbing his way through a series of roles at top tier investment banking firms, collecting mentors and even holding a position at the White House.

Until in 2012, a business plan that he wrote as part of a job interview caught the eye of an upper manager who encouraged him to launch the plan as a real business.

Robert's idea centered on a new kind of real estate firm, heavily fortified by robust technology and marketing tools.

In 2013, alongside his tech savvy business partner, the company called Compass was born.

[Kate] You had this big, bold idea and dream.

What made you think you could actually disrupt the real estate industry?

[Robert] So...I've never been motivated by disrupting.

I'm motivated by improving and I'm motivated by helping people.

This is the largest industry dominated by women, an industry two million strong.

It's an industry of single parents like my Mom.

[Kate] You really credit your mother with, as the inspiration for starting the company that you built.

She became a real estate agent, and she clearly had several pain points along the way that you took notice of it.

What were they that made you want to create an entire company because of it?

[Robert] I think that the pain points that motivated me made me see that she wasn't getting the support that she needed to realize her dreams and that she wasn't getting the dignity that she deserved.

[Kate] Mm.

[Robert] Agents don't make a salary, there is just commission.

They only succeed when they help their clients succeed.

[Kate] Right.

[Robert] And it's a lonely, hard business where for over a hundred years, it's been the model of brokerage firms extracting more value from agents than they give.

At least that's my personal view.

[Kate] Interesting.

[Robert] And so what Compass set out to do is to invest more in the future of the agent than any other company, helping them grow their business and have a better quality of life, more income to support their family and more time to be with their family.

[Kate] On that premise, Robert would build a brokerage firm fully focused on supporting the agent, making them the star, and giving them support and tools to help them succeed.

In just nine years, Compass soared; hiring almost 30,000 agents across the country, rising quickly to the top of the real estate industry and going public on the New York Stock Exchange valued at approximately $6 billion.

[Kate] How are you able to lure away these top agents that have been successful at another company?

[Robert] If there's a book that I wish could be written or an article, it's why did agents come to Compass?

Every one of these people could have stayed where they were.

Every one of them could have had money and offers to stay.

So why did they come?

Having hired thousands personally in meetings directly for years and years and years, I can tell you it is just very simple answer of entrepreneurs want to be their best selves.

Like why do people immigrate to a new country?

[Kate] Opportunity.

[Robert] Opportunity and better.

It's when you look at someone and you say, 'if you come and join me, I promise you, it may not be perfect, but every year this can get better and better and better.

And then we're going to build this together and we're going to reshape what real estate looks like for the generations that follow.

We're going to make a better industry for everyone.'

[Kate] If you were thinking about two different places to work, I would think that something as simple as going to the place that cared about you the most would be very powerful.

[Robert] The reality is, it wasn't planned, but the majority of markets we launched before we were really ready (scoffs) because our ambitions were big- [Kate] And if you're going to do speed, you have to, right?

[Robert] We were just excited of trying to go.

[Kate] Yeah.

[Robert] And a lot of those early agents, it was harder than it should have been for them but- [Kate] To leave their old job?

[Robert] To be at Compass.

[Kate] Really and why?

[Robert] In the early days.

[Kate] Because you were so new.

[Robert] Remember because real estate's local.

So everything's so local.

Um, the signs weren't the right color or the marketing looked like New York, not like Seattle and because we didn't have the support staff as quickly as we hoped we did or someone early... left.

There could be a whole host of reasons why things weren't very smooth in the beginning.

But what kept people there?

[Kate] Yeah.

[Robert] What kept people there was heart.

It's like... was telling someone, I'm sorry, you're right.

This shouldn't have happened.

I agree with you.

By the way, if I were you, I would've been even more unhappy about that, right?

But I promise you, I will work every single week to get this better.

Not every week, but every day.

So, what allowed us to withstand the challenges that we've had over the many, many years at Compass and keep the trust of the agents who are still here is that they know we care.

And we're not perfect, but we're going to give everything we possibly can.

[Kate] I don't know whether we're headed for a recession, whether we're in a recession, everyone seems to have a different opinion.

I'm just wondering as the leader of Compass, what do you tell the agents when they think about next spring, which is like your Super Bowl of the spring market?

What do you say to them?

[Robert] The first thing I would say to them is... protect your mindset.

There's going to be press on the left, press on the right all trying to steal your focus and your positivity to get you to click buttons, keep your positive energy, so you can focus on your clients and your family.

[Kate] I love that.

Protect your mindset.

[Robert] And that's the most important.

[Kate] I mean that extends to anything in life.

It's hard to do though, isn't it?

[Robert] To protect your mindset?

[Kate] Yeah.

[Robert] I think I'm fortunate, I was trained by a great entrepreneur, my Mom (laughs).

And so uh... for me, it's not as hard.

[Kate] Did she just see the positive in everything?

She just refused to let you see the negative?

[Robert] When I do, I didn't realize I did this until more recently, but whenever there's a bad thing, I say in my mind, 'well, the good thing is...' and if you actually say the good thing is, you could always follow that sentence.

[Kate] Oh that's good.

[Robert] You can always, no matter what.

[Kate] Yeah.

[Robert] Well ah, like oh it's a bad market, but the good thing is I'm a great agent.

The best agent just always gain market share from a downturn.

Okay.

I will say in Compass, oh it's a tough time for real estate right now, well the good thing is it's a tougher time for our competitors.

[Kate] You are so proud of your mother.

[Robert] I am.

[Kate] And, I know she's proud of you.

[Kate] Robert wrote a book, "No One Succeeds Alone" to inspire young people to follow their dreams.

All proceeds of the book go to charity, including the one he founded, America Needs You, a nonprofit serving people living below the poverty line who are the first in their families to go to college.

You are quoted as saying, "I believe Compass will help more people realize their dreams than any other company in the world."

And that is a bold vision and a bold dream.

What did you mean when you said that?

[Robert] The pursuit of a home, they call it the American dream for a reason, right?

It's more than a home.

It's a neighborhood.

It's a community.

It provides a real sense of belonging.

Uh, I think you asked me earlier, where do you feel like you're from, right?

It really matters.

[Kate] Yeah.

[Robert] I believe agents take this experience.

It's very stressful and complicated, and they can reduce the stress and make it easy.

And that what I believe is possible is so much further than where we are today.

My dream, it's only a dream, right?

But my dream is that Compass helps more people find their place in the world.

That's our mission, to help everyone find their place in the world.

But it helps more people do that than any other company.

[Kate] What do you think your superpower is?

[Robert] I don't know.

[Kate] Yeah but if you really had to pinpoint what you're uniquely good at?

[Robert] I think it's changed, but I think getting people to believe that together, we can go there.

[Kate] Leadership.

[Robert] Yeah.

I guess, I just, we can do it.

Yeah, it's going to be hard.

Boom, we'll go there.

We keep on going.

[Kate] You dreamed the dream and then you went for it.

[Robert] I went for it.

Go for it.

[Kate] (Laughs) You sure did.

[Kate] What a meal with Robert Reffkin, a man ruled by optimism.

He got it from his mama.

He learned to say, 'but the good thing is' in any situation, and he learned to double down on what could go right.

Robert's story is the American dream.

It's also inextricably tied to his mother's journey, who despite being disowned by her family for having a Black son, went on to nurture and inspire him to a life of great success.

Robert says his company helps people find their place in the world.

And in the process, Robert has found his own.

[Kate] If you would like to know more about the guests, the restaurants, and the inspiring stories of success, please visit todinefortv.com or follow us on Facebook and Instagram at To Dine For TV.

We also have a podcast, To Dine For the podcast is available on Apple podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts.

To Dine For with Kate Sullivan is made possible by... ♪ ♪ [Announcer] There are people in your life who count on you for what matters most.

American National agents are close to home and committed to our communities.

They'll help you find the right coverage for you, your family, even your farm and business.

You can learn more at americannational.com.

Lavazza has worked towards perfecting the art of blending coffee for four generations, celebrating coffee in all its forms.

Lavazza Classico can be brewed however you take your coffee.

Lavazza.

Devoted to coffee since 1895.