IN THESE DARK TIMES, HAVING A GOOD LAUGH MATTERS MORE THAN EVER.

AFTER WINNING AN EMMY AND TURNING HIS LIFE INTO A REALITY SHOW, COMEDIAN JERROD CARMICHAEL IS BACK WITH A NEW SPECIAL, DON'T BE GAY.

IT LETS THE WORLD INTO SOME OF HIS MOST INTIMATE MOMENTS.

>> I STILL HAVE TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS.

I HAVE TO TELL HIM WHEN HE'S HURT MY FEELINGS.

THAT IS REALLY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO DO BECAUSE THAT IS REALLY GAY.

>> HE JOINS MICHELLE MARTIN TO EXPLAIN WHY CONFRONTING DISCOMFORT HAS BECOME CENTRAL TO HIS STANDUP.

>> JERROD CARMICHAEL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING US.

>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.

>> A LOT OF PEOPLE LOVE YOU WORK.

THEY HAVE FOLLOWED YOU THROUGH THICK AND THIN.

FOR PEOPLE WHO DO NOT KNOW YOUR WORK AND THEY ONLY KNOW YOUR LATEST PROJECT, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?

>> I WOULD SAY I THINK IT'S AN HOUR OF GOOD STANDUP COMEDY.

I MOVED TO L. A.

WITH THE HOPES OF BEING A FUNNY COMEDIAN.

I EXPERIMENTED WITH FORM FOR MANY YEARS.

THIS IS MY BEST OUTING DOING TRADITIONAL STANDUP COMEDY.

THE HOPE WAS THAT PEOPLE WOULD LAUGH.

IT'S JUST AN UPDATE ON SOMEBODY IN A RELATIONSHIP TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH AGING PARENTS.

I THINK IT IS JUST KIND OF CLASSIC IN THAT WAY.

>> YOU SEEM VERY RELAXED.

I HAVE TO SAY.

>> I FEEL GOOD.

I JUST AT THE PHYSICAL.

MY CHOLESTEROL IS DOWN SO I FEEL GOOD.

>> YOU ALLUDED TO THIS.

YOU PUSH THE BOUNDARIES OF COMITY AND SELF-DISCOVERY IN A WAY THAT IS VERY FUNNY BUT ALSO POIGNANT.

IT HAS SOME PAIN POINTS IN IT.

IF HAD AN HBO REALITY SERIES THAT IS REAL AND RAW.

NOW YOUR LATEST PROJECT THE STANDUP SPECIAL IS DON'T BE GAY.

I DON'T FEEL REALLY GOOD SAYING THAT.

>> I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

YOU REACTING TO IT IS MY FAVORITE THING.

>> NOW THAT I HAVE SAID IT ONCE I'M NOT GOING TO SAY IT AGAIN.

WHY IS THAT THE TITLE?

>> AFTER COMING OUT IT MADE ME REFLECT.

I HAVE BEEN DOING A LOT OF REFLECTION AND THERAPY.

REFLECTING ON MY LIFE AND WHY IT WAS HIDING AND THINKING ABOUT MASCULINITY A LOT.

>> WHEN YOU ARE RAISED STRAIGHT YOU KNOW THERE IS ONLY ONE ROLE.

DON'T BE GAY.

I BROKE THE ONLY ROLE.

>> I NAMED IT AFTER THE INTERNAL MONOLOGUE I'VE HAD.

IT HAS CAUSED ME TO BE SO SELF- AWARE.

IT'S LIKE THE BURDEN OF SELF- AWARENESS.

IT IS A STRENGTH IN COMITY BUT THE BURDEN IS ALWAYS WATCHING YOUR MANNERISMS AND HOW YOU INTERACT WITH PEOPLE AND HOW YOU MOVE IN A ROOM.

HOW I TALK AND HOW I HOLD MY HANDS.

ALL THESE THINGS I'M HYPERAWARE OF.

IT IS KIND OF IRONICALLY NAMED JUST BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I WAS FIGHTING.

THAT WAS THE BIGGEST FIGHT OF MY LIFE.

>> IT IS A BOOKEND.

TALKING ABOUT BEING IN THE CLOSET AND THE PUBLIC AWAY IN WHICH YOU ANNOUNCED YOURSELF.

IT TAKES YOU ON THAT TRIP.

IS THIS THE BOOKEND?

>> I WOULD CALL IT MORE OF AN UPDATE.

I THINK MY CAREER IS ALWAYS JUST AN UPDATE TO EXACTLY WHERE I AM.

IT'S MY FIRST TIME AND HOPEFULLY THE ONLY TIME IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT ALLOWS ME TO SEE MYSELF.

I AM LIVING WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND WRITING A LOT OF MATERIAL AROUND THAT.

IT'S AN UPDATE TO EXACTLY WHERE I AM.

BEFORE I DID NOT THINK I DESERVED LOVE.

THERE WAS A LOT OF SHAME, A LOT OF CONFUSION AROUND HOW I WOULD SETTLE.

NOW I FEEL SETTLED, HAVING OTHER SOURCES OF CONFLICT.

IT IS JUST WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW.

THE NEXT PROJECT WILL HOPEFULLY JUST BE AN UPDATE TO EXACTLY WHERE I AM.

NOW I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP.

38, MY CHOLESTEROL IS DOWN 35 POINTS.

>> THERE YOU GO.

IT IS KIND OF ALL DONE.

THE RELATIONSHIP IS SO INTERESTING TO ME.

IT IS ITS OWN SHAUN RABB.

IT DID NOT INDICATE WHETHER YOU ARE MARRIED.

>> I PROPOSE MIKE THREE TIMES A MONTH.

HE KEEPS SAYING NO.

USUALLY AT THE END OF AN ARGUMENT I SAY LET'S JUST GET MARRIED.

HE JUST WALKS AWAY FROM ME.

>> I THINK THE TRADITIONAL MARRIED GUY COMITY OR EVEN MARRIED WOMAN COMITY WITH JOAN RIVERS BEING AN EXAMPLE OF THAT, YOU SORT OF PLAYOFF YOUR DIFFERENCES.

IN YOUR CASE THE DIFFERENCES YOU PLAY OFF OF OUR RACIAL BECAUSE YOUR BOYFRIEND IS WHITE, YOU TALK ABOUT THAT.

THERE IS ONE JOKE YOU TELL ABOUT HOW HE IS THE ONE THAT WANTED THE OPEN RELATIONSHIP AND YOU HAD A DIFFERENT IDEA.

>> MY IDEA WAS TO CHEAT AND LIVE A SECRET LIFE AND COME HOME AND SIT QUIETLY IN THE DRIVEWAY FOR A LONG TIME LIKE MY DAD.

>> THAT IS THE TRADITIONAL WAY.

THE RELATIONSHIP IS STRANGE AND GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING I WAS TAUGHT ABOUT MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIPS.

IT FORCES ME TO HAVE A CONVERSATION ALL THE TIME.

IT IS AN HONEST CONVERSATION BUT THE HARDEST ALL THE TIME.

>> THE OTHER THING YOU PLAY OFF OF HIS COMMUNICATION STYLES.

>> SOMETIMES MY BOYFRIEND SAYS STUFF IN A WAY THAT LETS ME KNOW HE'S NEVER BEEN PUNCHED IN THE FACE BEFORE.

IT'S A TONE THAT HE USES.

PASSIVE AGGRESSION IS WHITE VIOLENCE.

>> SAY MORE ABOUT THAT.

>> THAT'S A RINGING.

--UPBRINGING.

WHERE I'M FROM YOU SAY THE WRONG THING, YOU SPEAK IN THE WRONG TONE THERE IS A THREAT.

MY MOM WOULD GET A SWITCH FROM THE TREE.

I WAS NOT ALLOWED.

PART OF WHAT MAKES YOU A COMEDIAN IS FINDING CREATIVE WAYS.

THERE IS A THREAT.

MY BOYFRIEND WAS ABLE TO EXPRESS HIMSELF WITHOUT VIOLENCE.

IN A DIFFERENT ENVIRONMENT I COULD PUNCH YOU RIGHT NOW AND EVERYBODY WOULD BE ON MY SIDE.

I'M NOT IN THAT ENVIRONMENT.

I THINK ABOUT COMMUNICATION STYLES LIVING WITH SOMEONE THAT DID NOT GROW UP THE WAY THAT I GREW UP.

IT IS INTERESTING TO ME.

>> I THINK THAT IS WHY THE SPECIAL IS ABOUT YOU AS A BLACK GAY MAN.

ISN'T THAT WHY EVERYONE IS LAUGHING.

NONE OF US IS MARRIED TO THE PERSON THEY GREW UP IN THE SAME HOUSE WITH.

>> I TAKE ANYTHING THAT THEY DO TO BETTER THEMSELVES AS A PERSONAL INDICTMENT AGAINST ME.

HE WAKES UP BEFORE ME AND IT MAKES ME FEEL LAZY.

YOU ARE COMPARING.

>> THERE'S SOME REALLY PERSONAL THINGS.

HAVE YOU SEEN A COMFORT FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED THE THINGS YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED BUT DO NOT HAVE THE WORDS TO EXPRESS THEM.

IT'S COMFORTING FOR THEM TO KNOW, I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS LIKE THIS.

THAT SELF-DOUBT, INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA.

I JUST WONDERED, DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT?

DO PEOPLE STOP YOU ON THE STREET AND SAY, YOU GAVE ME WORDS.

YOU SAID SOMETHING I FELT THAT COULD NOT SAY.

>> I'M NOT STOPPING MYSELF FROM CRYING IN THIS MOMENT BECAUSE I HAVE NOT FELT RESPONSIBILITY.

I JUST SAY WHAT I WANT AND EXPRESS MYSELF HOW I WANT.

IN RECENT YEARS I'VE STARTED TO FEEL THE RESPONSIBILITY TO PUT WORDS TO FEELINGS.

JUST TO HAVE A CONTRARIAN POINT JUST TO BE FUNNY.

I DO FEEL A RESPONSIBILITY TO BE HONEST IN A WAY THAT IS TRUE TO THE EMOTION.

IT IS MY JOY TO DO THAT AND IT'S MY PLEASURE TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT.

SOME OF THE BEST FEEDBACK IN MY LIFE WAS WHEN PEOPLE STOP ME ON THE STREET.

>> THERE'S A LOT OF PUBLIC FIGURES, PEOPLE SAYING THINGS LIKE I DON'T WANT TO BE A ROLE MODEL.

IS IT THE RECOGNITION THAT PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT YOU NOW, DOES THAT CHANGE ANYTHING?

>> THAT IS PART OF THE REASON I DON'T SEARCH MY NAME ON TWITTER ANYMORE IS BECAUSE WHEN BAD THINGS HURT YOUR FEELINGS.

THAT IS JUST A FACT.

YOU READ SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR WORK AND YOUR APPEARANCE AND IT CAN HURT.

EVEN GOOD THINGS CAN CAUSE YOU TO GET STUCK.

PART OF THE RESPONSIBILITY AS AN ARTIST IS TO ARTICULATE TRUE EMOTION, TRUE FEELINGS.

WE SEE THIS A LOT.

THE DOWNSIDE OF THAT IS PEOPLE HAVING THE HERO COMPLEX.

I WILL CARRY ALL THESE PEOPLE ON MY BACK.

THEN YOU STOP BEING A HUMAN BEING.

IT'S EASY TO BE A HERO AND YOU SHOULD SKU HIDE THE SHADES OF YOURSELF BETTER.

I DON'T WANT TO GET IN TROUBLE FOR THIS, BUT THE EXAMPLE THAT ALWAYS COMES TO MIND.

I HAVE FELT THIS WAY SINCE I WAS A KID.

MARTIN LUTHER KING IS THIS INCREDIBLE MAN WHO MAY BE AS GUILTY OF A FEW INDISCRETIONS.

TO ME THE INDISCRETIONS IS PART OF WHAT MAKES HIM GREAT.

HE MADE MISTAKES BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING.

WHEN YOU HIDE THAT IT DEHUMANIZES.

MY FAVORITE ARTISTS ARE ONES THAT SAY, I WILL SHOW YOU THE BAD SIDE.

NOT TO CELEBRATE IT JUST TO TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED.

TO SHOW THAT MAKES INTERESTING ARE BUT ALSO MAKES AN INTERESTING PERSON.

>> THERE IS A LOT OF HOSTILITY DIRECTED AT SOME OF THE GROUPS YOU BELONG TO.

>> IT IS SCARY.

>> HOSTILITY AND RESENTMENT DIRECTED AT THE PUBLIC EXPRESSIONS OF DARKNESS AND QUEERNESS.

I JUST WONDER IF THE POLITICAL ENVIRONMENT AFFECTED WHAT YOU TALK ABOUT.

>> I AM NOT GAY BECAUSE I LIKE TO HOLD HANDS WITH A MAN AND WE WEAR WHITE ROBES AND HOLD HANDS AND GO TO CHURCH.

THAT IS NOT THE PART THAT MAKES ME GAY.

I AM GAY BECAUSE OF THE STUFF I TALK ABOUT IN THE SPECIAL.

I DO NOT WANT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMETHING ELSE.

I THINK THAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT NOBODY IS SAFE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT.

I THOUGHT THAT WAS WRITTEN IN A STONE TABLET.

THEY ARE COMING FOR EVERYTHING.

JUST TO STAND FIRM IN WHO YOU ARE.

TO ME IDENTITY POLITICS OFTEN SHOW ONE SIDE OF THE IDENTITY.

>> IS THIS ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING THAT GAY PEOPLE ARE NORMAL.

>> I FOUND THE COMMON IT IS EASY TO SAY.

EVERYBODY HOLD SOMETHING REALLY CLOSE.

THEY DON'T WANT TO SHARE WITH ANYBODY THEY WILL MAKE THEM UNLOVABLE.

I AM SHARING MY CONFLICTING EMOTIONS ABOUT MY SEXUALITY.

SO TALKING TO MY FRIENDS I'M SHOCKED HOW MUCH OVERLAP THERE IS JUST ON A HUMAN LEVEL.

>> BEFORE YOU GO.

NATHANIEL WAS ABOUT THE FEAR OF BEING SEEN.

DON'T BE GAY IS ABOUT --I WOULD SAY IT IS ABOUT THE JOY OF STANDING IN YOUR TRUTH.

THE JOY OF KIND OF TAKING OFF THE MASK.

HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO -- THAT YOU CHOSE TO TAKE OFF THE MASK.

HOW ARE YOU?

>> GOOD.

GOOD.

IT WAS THE BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE.

THAT ACTUALLY IS PROBABLY WHAT LOWERED THE CHOLESTEROL.

THAT PROBABLY IS HEART OF WHAT DID IT.

NOW IT'S A WHOLE NEW SET OF PROBLEMS I'M DEALING WITH.

I HAD A GRACE PERIOD ARE ALL OF MY FRIENDS --SO NOW IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.

YOU ARE AN ADULT.

YOU HAVE RESPONSIBILITY.

YOU HAVE A PERSON THAT YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR.

NOW I AM HIT WITH REALLY THE REAL TEST.

I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER ABOUT JUST BEING HONEST ABOUT WHO I AM.

IT ACTUALLY CHANGED MY LIFE.

>> I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU DO NEXT.

>> I'M SO GLAD YOU TOOK THE TIME TO TALK TO ME.

IT'S REALLY GOOD.

YOU'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF DC.

>> WE WILL FIGURE THAT OUT.

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TALKING TO ME TODAY.

>