- So I do this as a reenactor to share the history and because I enjoy it.

- And I think we all eventually come to that realization that we have to lean on someone else single, living by yourself or not.

- When my marriage finally ended, there was a period of time where I was kind of searching.

Like, you know I got married at a fairly young age.

- But let's remember, he called me eight o'clock on a Friday evening.

(laughs) (uplifting music) - Welcome to "getting dot OLDER," the new TV series where Americans over 50 share intimate, personal revelations about aging.

I'm your host, Roberto Mighty.

This series interviews people live and online, and asks everyone the same questions like: Question number nine, when I was a child, I wanted to be.

And question number 27, here's what I want done with my remains.

You can answer these questions on our online survey.

Join us.

Stay tuned on TV.

And I'm looking forward to hearing your story online.

(upbeat music) In our Boomer Passions segment, Joe is a civil war reenactor.

Our Boomer Quiz is on The Jackson Five.

Sara takes a chance on a tumor.

Kevin and Karen find each other after their divorces.

John is an outdoors guide in Wyoming.

Dr. Halima Amjad gives advice on dementia.

And viewers share revealing answers to our survey.

(uplifting music) My next guest is a couple.

Karen and Kevin found each other at a significant moment in their lives.

- We are both in our, we both have children from our first marriage, and we do not have children together.

Our children are now pretty much have flown the nest, all very successfully.

And a lot has to do with how they were raised, the foundations they were given from their parents.

So that has all worked out well.

And now I live in Syracuse.

I am 66 years old as of last week.

I retired four years ago 'cause my whole adult life I had only known work.

- I still work for a large financial services institution.

I'm able to do so in Syracuse.

I relocated from Rochester about four years ago after I met this guy.

And we decided that we should probably live in the same general vicinity so we could continue our partnership.

We got married during the height of the pandemic in October of 2020 on our back porch, which is one of our favorite places.

- I asked Karen and Kevin what it was like when they were single again.

Let's just talk about our feelings about being divorced and even, first off, the prospect of meeting someone new.

How did you both feel about that?

- You can start.

- Well, my feeling about divorce.

I'm one that doesn't like being alone.

So post divorce was the unhappiest period of my life.

- Amen, brother.

(laughs) - I'm not good at being someone's wingman who's been alone for a long time and goes out to happy hours every Friday and meeting people and going home at 10 or 11 o'clock and going to bed.

That just wasn't me.

And it had to be me for a while.

I was trying to meet people, so I was going out in the singles scene and did not like it at all.

So fortunately, that came to an end.

- And Karen, how about you?

What was your journey from divorce onward?

- Oh, so my journey was a little bit different in that, you know, I wasn't surprised by my divorce.

It was something that was a bit of time kind of in the works, if you will.

And it was very, you know, very difficult, obviously, because you don't set out, when you get married, you don't think down the road, "I'm gonna be divorced someday."

You know, you see people around you like that, but you don't ever, you know?

And my parents have been married for almost 60 years now.

So, you know, you see their relationship.

You've got that relationship, you know, in front of you, and you think, "Okay, so this is how it's supposed to be."

- According to the Associated Press, the number of divorces among the baby boomer generation has doubled.

The same data shows that the rate of divorce among people over the age of 65 has nearly tripled.

So it's funny, Kevin, you've used the word failure more than once.

And there will be people who say, "You shouldn't feel that way."

- I tell them all the time because I don't feel that way.

So it's interesting.

We talk about that too.

- See, I have three siblings.

All of them are in decades-long, happy marriages.

Of the four, I was growing up probably the most successful in achieving, from athletics to schoolwork till you name it.

I just hit on all cylinders.

And they all met someone young and got married and had kids and are living that storybook lifestyle that I missed.

So like I said, we celebrate anniversaries by months 'cause, you know, we'll never, f advancements in medicine, we'll never celebrate our 60th wedding, our 60th year.

- We're working on 20.

Well, we're shooting for 20.

- There you go.

That's right.

Well, you know, I'm so glad you folks are open about this because I know that there are many people watching this who will absolutely identify with, if not necessarily with your exact experience, your exact timeline, the general experience.

We'll hear more from Karen and Kevin about how this second marriage is going in an upcoming episode of "getting dot OLDER."

But what about you?

Did you meet a new partner after divorce?

Are you worried about getting a second divorce?

What are you doing differently this time?

(upbeat music) - I think I've gotten a little bit too old to sleep on the ground.

Or at least my mind tells me that.

My body doesn't like it, either.

(upbeat music) (upbeat music continues) ♪ Oh, can't you see that look in my eyes.

♪ ♪ We're running out of time ♪ Running out of time ♪ Can you hear it when I talk to you ♪ ♪ There's something going on inside ♪ ♪ I don't know what I've got to do ♪ ♪ I don't know what I've got to say ♪ ♪ I don't know what I've (uplifting music) - Hey, thanks to all the viewers who are filling out our "getting dot OLDER" online survey.

Here's a viewer survey response from Elfrieda, who lost her husband after 30 years of marriage.

Here's her answer to question number five.

The thing I love most about my age now is.

Elfrieda says, "The thing I love most is that I'm still alive after my bout with cancer in 2005.

That I'm married to a wonderful man and have a great family."

Well, congratulations Elfrieda, and thank you for sharing.

(uplifting music) My next guest's parents were immigrants from China.

As a child in New York, she stood out from the other kids at school.

Question number nine: When I was a child, I wanted to be.

Now that I'm older, I am.

- When I was a child, I was thinking more how different would my life be if my eyes were round?

So I wasn't really thinking about what I could be.

I was focused on more like, wow, if my eyes were round, could I be having a different life?

- Perhaps as a result of feeling like an outsider, Sara admired uniters.

- As I saw famous people, Gandhi stood out for me as something like, wow, I would like to strive to be like that human being.

I remember seeing a documentary about him.

And something about his humanity and what he stood for spoke to me.

- Mm-hmm.

Can a poem change the world?

Sara wrote a few lines in 1985.

Since then, that message of unity has resonated with people around the globe.

So Sara, I'm gonna ask you to recite your poem.

Could you look, you know, make sure you're looking into the lens like you are.

You know, look.

And would you please recite your poem?

- Sure.

Are you greater than the sun that shines on everyone; black, brown, yellow, red, and white.

The sun does not discriminate.

- Sara's poem has ricocheted around the world since 1985, and now it's motivating people on posters, billboards, at TED talk, workshops, and symposia.

But Sara herself is human, just like anybody else.

Question number 20: My medical issues are.

(gentle music) - Well, my medical issues, I am a cancer survivor.

I also seem to have bouts with vertigo.

Other than that, I'm extremely healthy.

(both laugh) - So tell me about your bout with cancer.

- Yeah, that came really, it was a total surprise.

I was experiencing shortness of breath.

I thought it was something to do with my lungs.

So that got me kind of nervous.

And so when I went to check out what it was, and the doctor put me through all these primary tests, and then sent me down to do a blood test, and then 15 minutes later told me I had to go to the emergency room, not explain to me why.

- The news wasn't good.

- So I'm thinking, "Okay, so you found a tumor.

Okay, so is it benign or malignant, right?"

So I'm thinking.

Friday night I get a call, 8:00 PM in the evening, and it's my doctor.

And I'm thinking, "Oh, well, if this was really serious, in my mind, the doctor would say, 'Come into the office, I need to talk to you.'"

That's what I thought, if it was serious.

But let's remember, he called me eight o'clock on a Friday evening.

(laughs) And he said, "Well, we're not sure what this is, but you've gotta see an oncologist."

- That was five years ago.

As a cancer survivor, Sara told me she's well aware of the preciousness of time.

Question number 27: Here's what I want done with my remains.

- Very difficult question for me to answer at this point.

For now, I'm feeling like, well, my mother, her love, she actually did already set aside a space for me.

- Wow.

- So in her mind, she's thinking, she didn't think that I'll marry at any point 'cause if I were to, well, that could have an impact on where my remains go.

So for me, it is a little bit of a difficult question to answer, but for now I would say to be with my mom and dad.

For now.

It could change.

- What about you?

Has a serious illness changed your mission statement?

We'll hear more from Sara in upcoming episodes of "getting dot OLDER."

(uplifting music) The "getting dot OLDER" series includes expert advice for people over 50.

Our growing number of topics will include: medicine, elder care, financial services, nutrition, geriatrics, estate planning, and lifelong learning.

There are many risk factors that can influence the likelihood of developing dementia.

So Doctor, let me ask you, you know, what are some of the things that can cause dementia?

- So there are a lot of different causes of dementia.

As I said, it's an umbrella term for a number of different conditions.

And I will say we're still learning a lot more about what causes dementia.

So I think there will be, in the future, we'll know a lot more about what causes it than we do now.

But we know that the most common cause is Alzheimer's disease.

Other common causes of dementia do include: vascular dementia, Lewy body dementia, frontotemporal dementia, and then also mixed dementia, where there might be more than one of these pathologies or diseases at play in somebody's brain.

And in most of these cases, so Alzheimer's, Lewy body, and frontotemporal dementia, each of these cases we know that there's abnormal proteins building up in the brain.

That either they shouldn't be there, or they're misfolded, and over time, start to create, you know, death of brain cells, difficulty in the brain cells communicating, and overall just contributing to what we then see clinically as dementia.

In the case of vascular dementia, we often see either strokes that landed somebody in the hospital, or often what we consider to be silent strokes, where the person's never noticed symptoms, but they have, you know, risk factors for vascular disease or strokes.

You know, high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes.

And when we do brain imaging, we see that there's signs of significant vascular disease that could be causing the cognitive issues that the person is experiencing.

- We'll hear more from Dr. Amjad throughout the "getting dot OLDER" series.

(uplifting music) Here is a viewer survey response from Terry.

Here's Terry's answer to question number 18: My relationships now are.

Terry says, "The only relationship that I have is with God.

I pray every morning and evening that even at the young age of 62 that he would send me a wife soon and very soon so that I can share all of my love!"

Thank you for sharing Terry, and good luck.

(uplifting music) My next guest was in the Marine Corps for 20 years and now works as a carpenter and an outdoors guide.

- Well, my name is John, and I came from a family of 10 brothers and sisters.

Five boys, five girls.

- Wow.

- My dad was military.

My mom was a housewife, a very busy housewife.

A homemaker, as you could imagine, with 10 kids.

And I think growing up with 10 kids was an education in and of itself.

And even while I was in high school, I went on a special program where I worked 40 hours as a stock clerk in a discount store while I was going to high school.

- 40 hours?

- 40 hours a week.

Yep, Yep.

- Wow.

- And, you know, before that I was delivering newspapers, I was cutting grass, I was shoveling snow to help provide for the family.

And Dad made us all contribute 1/3 of our income to the house.

- John grew up in a house of 12.

Now his situation is very different.

According to the Pew Research Center, 27% of Americans 60 or older live alone.

This carries some very real risks.

- I think it's the last 30 years that I've spent here in Wyoming.

And I live by myself.

I live down the end of a dirt road.

I'm single.

- I was just thinking about, do you ever worry about slipping and falling and no one finding you?

No, seriously, this is not even funny.

I'm smiling, but let me stop smiling.

For anyone who lives alone, for anyone who's getting older, first of all, do you have some provision for that?

You know, neighbors checking in on each other every once in a while, or?

What do you think about that?

- You know, and that's a good question because we all have to face that.

And eventually, we're gonna be bedridden, you know, and we're all headed, I always say we're all headed in the same direction.

And you can't stop that clock.

You cannot stop that clock.

To answer your question, what I do is I've learned how to, and my cell phone at night, put it in sleep remote.

I used to shut off my cell phone.

And to your very point, my thought was, if I have a problem at night and my cell phone is shut off, how do I dial 911?

Because that has to be instant.

So I learned how to put it in sleeper mode where it still works for me, but no one can call in so I can sleep, unless if you, and I don't know if you're aware of this, if you dial it twice, if you dial my number first, it'll ring, but I don't hear it.

You immediately dial it the second time, it will activate my phone.

And then the second part of your suggestion was, yes, I do have a network of friends, neighbors.

And matter of fact, a friend of mine called me up today because we just had a snowstorm.

And it was a rather violent snowstorm.

Here it is, mid-April.

I woke up to seven degrees this morning.

But she wanted to make sure that I'd gotten through the storm okay.

And I asked her the same thing.

And yes, I do think of that.

And I think we all eventually come to that realization that we have to lean on someone else single.

Living by yourself or not, you have to give in to someone stepping up to the plate to help you.

And I provide that service to other people of my same age group.

I do.

I really do.

- That's great.

We'll hear more from John in an upcoming episode of "getting dot OLDER."

But how about you?

Do you or a loved one live alone?

Is there an emergency set up in place?

What is it?

How does it work?

And have you had to use it?

Please write and let me know.

(uplifting music) Here's a viewer survey response from Donna, who lost her husband after many years.

Here's her answer to question number 12: I am unlike my parents in that.

Well, Donna says, "I am unlike my parents in that I am effusive in telling my son that I love him.

That was not something I had ever heard from my parents."

Well, thank you for sharing, Donna.

(gentle music) For season two, we've conducted 39 new, in-depth interviews with diverse baby boomers coast to coast.

- And I told my mother, I said, and I'm crying, I said, "I almost drowned."

This is the middle of wintertime, you know?

And she turns to me and she goes, "Well, you didn't."

(Roberto laughs) (interviewee laughs) - I think in my elementary school there were maybe, I think there was one other Asian family.

I think they had two daughters.

So we always stood out.

- What were the circumstances of you being homeless three times?

(upbeat music) Just for fun, every season two episode includes a new boomer quiz.

This time with engaging archival images and more questions to test our audience's boomer IQ.

(upbeat music) For season two, we're also introducing exciting new action segments called Boomer Passions.

Each half-hour episode will contain one of these original short films, two to five minutes long, about the hobbies, pastimes, and passions of Americans after retirement.

- Thankfully, there's places like MSPCA.

- The father often work in restaurants from three o'clock on to midnight.

(gentle music) - To me, time, it doesn't mean anything.

- Susan, I have- - Hey.

- your groceries here.

- Ooh, I'm so happy with that.

(uplifting music) (dramatic music) - [Roberto] War reenactments have been going on for centuries.

In Ancient Rome, there were war reenactments in amphitheaters.

- [Actor] Fire.

- [Actor] Whoa.

- [Roberto] Today, amateurs take part in reenactments all over the world, portraying battles and military life from various historical periods.

Their activities often draw big crowds.

(gentle music) I recently caught up with Joe Zellner, who volunteers considerable time, research, and resources with a company of civil war reenactors in Boston.

- I'm Joseph Zellner, and I reenact with the 54th Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry.

And I reenact one of the members of that regimen in company A by the name of Solomon Pierce.

- [Roberto] The Massachusetts 54th Regiment was unique.

- The uniqueness of that regiment, the 54th Mass, was that it was the first regiment raised in the North of colored volunteers.

- [Roberto] Reenactors make or order their own period costumes, by their own replica weapons, pay for transportation to weekend rallies all over the country, and many spent countless hours studying history.

- I'm very interested in the history of the military.

The military has been an interesting and deceptive, in some respects, aspect of social equality in the United States.

The military was one of the first to offer opportunities, but they offered opportunities on a segregated basis.

So I do this as a reenactor so as to learn the history, remember the history, to share the history, and because I enjoy it.

- [Roberto] I wondered about Joe's background.

- I spent my life as a secondary history teacher and retired from the schools in Concord here in Massachusetts.

I had certainly a basic understanding and particular interest in the role of the military in our culture, in our society.

- [Roberto] Most real-life infantry are young people.

Joe is not.

I wondered what it's like to be camping, marching, and shouldering arms in one's 70s.

- I think I've gotten a little bit too old to sleep on the ground.

Or at least my mind tells me that.

My body doesn't like it, either.

But I think that, you know, setting up tents and all the contortions one needs to put one's body through to charge the fort and to do the marching is getting a bit strenuous.

- [Roberto] Although he suffers from elder aches and pains, Joe's sense of mission keeps him going.

- As a reenactor, I like to let people know that when I say we, I mean we African Americans.

We were here too.

That if something happened in our society, it happened to us also.

But at the same time, the work that Americans put in, African Americans put in, to justify themselves and to rectify and to make America live up to the true meaning of its creed certainly gives us a right to say that we too.

As Langston Hughes says, "I too sing America."

(gentle music) (upbeat music) - Thanks so much.

Please go to our website and take our survey.

And let us know if you're interested in doing a video call interview with me.

I'm really looking forward to hearing your story online.

(uplifting music) (uplifting music continues) (uplifting music continues) (otherworldly music) (perky strings music) (upbeat music)