- When she was just 18 she got her first tattoo.

It was a little green gator with a smiling face.

She put it in a private place.

- She was placed with me as a foster child when she was six-weeks-old, and then she wasn't freed for adoption until she was three-years-old.

- I just want her to have a happy end-of-life.

- Holy crap.

I got a big honkin' tumor on my liver, you know.

(gentle music) - Welcome to "getting dot OLDER."

The new TV series where Americans over 50 share intimate, personal revelations about aging.

I'm your host, Roberto Mighty.

This series interviews people live and online, and asks everyone the same questions, like number two: When I was younger, I used to think older people didn't... And number 25: My mission statement now is... You can answer these questions on our online survey, so join us.

Stay tuned on TV, and I'm looking forward to hearing your story online.

(upbeat music) In this episode, Marcia writes and sings Louisiana-style.

Carol adopted after her divorce.

Beth gets rid of an unwelcome intruder.

Liza reads sci-fi and takes care of her mom.

Viewers share revealing answers to our survey.

We hear about Zen Buddhism.

And our Boomer Quiz is about Slowhand himself, Eric Clapton.

(gentle music) My next guest lives in Santa Cruz County near the California coast.

She's an avid reader of science fiction.

You mentioned that you read a lot of science fiction.

Well, what are some books that you'd recommend some of your favorites?

- Oh, well, there's the old classics, Ray Bradbury, "I Sing the Body Electric."

- [Roberto] Yeah, yeah.

- That is such a fabulous book, and "The Martian Chronicles."

And then there's some newer ones, you know, I'd have to look in my book journal to give you the author's names but the titles are "The City in the Middle of the Night" by Charlie Anders, really entertaining and different.

"A Boy and His Dog at the End of the World" but I don't remember the author's name.

- That's okay, I'll look 'em up.

Liza and I talked about sci-fi for some time and then got into the "getting dot OLDER" survey.

Question number 10.

The most profound life transition I ever had was... - The most profound life transition I ever had was just this last fall.

My mom, who was basically like Dick Clark, the world's oldest oldest living teenager became very, very ill.

Went into the hospital for eight weeks plus one day, and came out needing 24-hour care.

And I was totally unprepared for that because she was just, like, this party girl my whole life.

- So where does she live now?

- She's here, I actually live in her house.

I'm her 24-hour caregiver, and she's slowly getting better, but probably won't get back to what she was before she got sick.

- And how old is your mom?

- Almost 80.

- Right.

- So, you know, right up until she got sick she was doing water aerobics and exercise class.

And we were going to the beach, and we were making plans to travel post-COVID, and actually thinking about selling the house and returning back to Canada at one point 'cause she's a citizen and I'm half Canadian, so we could do that.

None of those things are gonna happen.

- Wow, that's a big change.

You're right, a profound change.

- It is very profound.

- Wow.

Do you two get along?

- Not necessarily, no, but we do now because I just want her to have a happy end-of-life.

- A lot of boomers are part-time or full-time caregivers, or they manage the care of a loved one in a nursing home, or other facility.

If that describes you, please write and tell us about your experiences for possible inclusion on this show.

Thank you.

(gentle music) - Emergency gumbo is this, it's a little bit sacrilegious, but in order to start a gumbo, you put oil in a heavy pot.

(upbeat music) ♪ Oh can't you see that look in my eye ♪ ♪ We're running out of time ♪ ♪ Running out of time ♪ ♪ Can you hear it when I talk to you ♪ ♪ There's something going on inside ♪ ♪ I don't know what I got to do ♪ ♪ I don't know what I got to say ♪ ♪ I don't know ♪ (gentle music) - My next guest is originally from Rochester, New York.

She recently retired after 30 years of working in child services.

- I was married for 12 years and then we got divorced, and after that I adopted a daughter.

- Exciting.

- She's just wonderful.

- How old is your adopted daughter now?

- She'll be 30 this summer.

- Whoa.

- Yeah.

- And how old was she, I shouldn't say adopted, she's your daughter, but how old was she when you adopted her?

- Well, she was placed with me as a foster child when she was six-weeks-old.

And then she wasn't freed for adoption until she was three-years-old.

So it was kind of in limbo until then, but.

- That must have been heart and mouth time, my gosh.

- It was, it really was, yeah.

- Now, this happened in New York State, I suppose.

- Yes, it did.

- Yeah, gosh, I just can't imagine the stress of, you know, having the beautiful child with you, and feeding her every day and doing all that stuff, and then not knowing.

Now, would it have been the case that she would've gone back into the foster system if the adoption hadn't?

- She most likely would have been returned home if, you know, hopefully, if things had worked out with the birth parents, but I just had to keep reminding myself I was the adult and she needed someone to nurture and care for her when her parents couldn't.

- Carol was a social worker, so she has a unique perspective on the challenges of adoption.

She told me that every adoption comes out of a tragedy.

I asked her to explain that.

Now, I know that your child is 30-years-old and she'll always be your child no matter how old she gets, but because you've been in the system, I'm gonna ask you to speak generally about some more of those challenges that adoptive parents are facing, and why you say that every adoption comes out of a tragedy?

- Well, whenever a child loses their caretaker, and no matter what age, you know, we look at babies and we think, oh, they adjust so easily, but there's still a loss for them when that caretaker they're used to is gone.

The foster care system there are some wonderful foster parents out there and they do a great job, but it's always second-best to what that child wants, which is to be with the people that gave birth to them.

And when you're adopting from foster care, those kids the longer they've been in foster care the more issues they're likely to come with and reasons that, you know, things that you really need to deal with and cope with, and teach them to cope with so it can't be easy, and they know the kids know right where your weak spots are.

What you have to remember is on your good days you could probably do a great job, but things tend to mount up, and the problems come when you're least prepared for, when you're at your weakest moments, and have the least supports.

So you gotta think about, you know, what's the worst that can happen and can I deal with it?

- We'll hear more from Carol in upcoming episodes, but what about you?

Do you have an adoption or a fostering story?

Are you thinking about adopting or fostering?

(gentle music) While America has always had religious minorities, most baby boomers were raised in what are often called mainstream religions.

However, starting in the 1960s, other traditions including the absence of religious beliefs became more and more popular.

One of those traditions is Zen Buddhism, which paradoxically is not a religion.

Maybe this is why diverse people adopted it, including the Beatles, George Harrison, jazz musician, Sun Ra, beat poet, Allen Ginsburg, and actors George Takei, and Sharon Stone.

I asked psychotherapist and Zen Buddhist, Polly Young-Eisendrath, to give a brief overview about how Americans got Zen.

- Doctor, what is Zen Buddhism, and why do you think it appeals to so many baby boomers?

- So Zen Buddhism is the Buddhism that comes from China.

And that's after Buddhism went from India to China, and it was called Chán in Chinese and then Zen in Japanese.

And then there's a Korean term for it and a Vietnamese term.

And what it focuses on is sitting meditation.

And it focuses almost exclusively on that without a lot of other practices of mindfulness.

And so you learn how to do deep sitting meditation, and the idea is quick awakening, that you quickly awaken to what you could call a taste of cosmic consciousness.

So it doesn't take 10 years to get the taste, supposedly.

It turns out it's kind of hard for Westerners, but.

So why did so many Westerners come to it?

I think there are two reasons.

One, I think is the reason that I came to it.

Many of us wanted to figure out why there was so much suffering in our childhood, and Zen Buddhism was one of the forms that came to America in the '60s.

A lot of the forms of Buddhism didn't come until later but Zen and Tibetan Buddhism came in the '60s, so they were available.

And the other reason in the '60s was that people were taking hallucinogenic drugs.

They were taking LSD, so, these kinds of drugs also drop you into that kind of consciousness, but you kind of drop in without any spiritual preparation.

So what you do with that may or may not be helpful to you, so people who had done hallucinogenic drugs many of them came to Zen Buddhism, and then people who had grown up in difficult circumstances many of them came to Zen Buddhism, particularly in the late '60s, early '70s.

- We'll hear more from Polly Young-Eisendrath throughout the "getting dot OLDER" series.

(gentle music) This viewer survey comes from John in the Chicago area who was a priest for 10 years, and then resigned from the priesthood to marry and have a family.

Here's John's answer to question number 10.

The most profound life transition I've had was... John says, "The most profound and best life transition was marrying Charman (his wife) and the subsequent births of Sarah and Ian."

Well, congratulations, John, and thanks for sharing.

(gentle music) My next guest lives near Madison, Wisconsin and always wanted to be one of the backup dancers, on "The Carol Burnett Show."

She told me about a frightening experience.

So I wanna ask you speaking of illnesses about your cancer diagnosis, so what happened?

Like, you know, how'd you find out about it and all that?

- About 20 years ago, 15 or so, I was diagnosed with hepatitis C. You see all these TV commercials these days that say 99% of baby boomers have this and don't know it.

Well, sure enough, and that was treated successfully, but apparently one of the big problems with Hep C is even if it's cured it is very likely to cause cancer.

- I didn't know that.

- So I was diagnosed with liver cancer, but I had gone to the doctor because I was having stomach issues, you know, a lot of heartburn, indigestion, and I've never been one like that.

I could eat nails and be fine and all of a sudden just a lot of gastric problems.

And so she had ordered an ultrasound and an endoscopy because they were thinking ulcer.

And when I went for the ultrasound they saw the mass.

So how was it diagnosed?

Purely accidentally.

I was not symptomatic except for the GI problems.

And by the way, the cancer is gone I still have GI problems, so.

- Oh no.

- You know, kinda back to being, you know, home plate on that one, but, so, and it was a very large tumor.

It was 7.4 centimeters by the time they removed it.

So that's a baseball, you know.

- Whoa.

- Yeah.

- Wow.

- So they took out half of my liver, which luckily for us regenerates.

- I didn't know that.

Yeah, I think I've read this.

Is that the only organ that regenerates something like that?

- It is the only organ in the body besides your skin that will regenerate, like a starfish loses a limb it'll grow it back.

- That's handy.

- The liver does that, so.

I'm fine now I seem to be okay.

I still have frequent checkups.

I just had surgery last August, so I'm only about nine months out still, eight months out, or whatever.

- Do you have to watch what you eat?

Do you have to, like, stay away from certain kinds of foods, or something?

- No, no, I don't, except for that gastric issue that I was talking about.

- Right, yeah.

- But, no, and that's just it, you know.

I have to watch about alcohol intake, of course, being that's the liver, but as far as eating dietary restrictions, or anything, no, I don't.

Unfortunately, this type of cancer does have a high rate of recurrence, so, you know, it's kind of like fingers crossed every day every time I go in for another checkup.

- Scary.

- Yeah, yeah, it is.

You know, you always think it's one of those, oh it'll be fine.

And my doctor called me, I was working from home, and you know when the doctor herself calls you it's gonna be bad.

It's one thing if a nurse calls.

- Right.

- But the doctor calls and as soon as she called, but I didn't think cancer.

I mean, that was not even on the radar then, you know?

- Sure.

- So she told me and it's like, okay, that's fine.

And I hung up and I went back to work and then like three hours later, you know, it must have just been percolating there in the back of my brain.

And about three hours later it's like, holy crap.

I got a big honkin' tumor on my liver, you know, and I kinda fell apart, you know, but.

It still seems surreal because I didn't have any real symptoms and now they cut it out and I'm fine.

I didn't have to do chemo or radiation, any of that with unpleasant side effects and stuff.

I went in, they opened me up like a sardine can, took half of my liver.

Oh, it's true, it's a huge incision, but I figured they should've just Velcroed me shut.

And then if we need to go back in.

- Just pull it off.

- Yeah, open me back up.

- That's great.

What about you?

Have you had a narrow escape from a serious illness?

What happened exactly?

And is there anything you'd like to share about that experience?

(gentle music) For season two, we've conducted 39 new in-depth interviews with diverse baby boomers, coast to coast.

- And I told my mother, I says, and I'm crying, I says, I almost drowned, I almost drowned.

This is in the middle of wintertime, you know?

And she turns to me and she goes, well, you didn't.

(both laughing) (upbeat music) - [Roberto] Just for fun, every season two episode includes a new boomer quiz.

This time with engaging archival images and more questions to test our audience's boomer IQ.

(gentle music) For season two, we're also introducing exciting new action segments called Boomer Passions.

Each half hour episode will contain one of these original short films two to five minutes long about the hobbies, pastimes and passions of Americans after retirement.

- Thankfully, there's places like MSPCA.

- The father often work in restaurants from three o'clock on to midnight.

- To me time, it doesn't mean anything.

- Susan, I have your groceries here.

- Oh, I'm so happy with that.

(gentle music) - A series of visits with senior artists.

Growing up in New York we loved records by great Louisiana musicians like The Meters, Allen Toussaint, The Neville Brothers, Irma Thomas and Dr. John.

Around that same time my next guest was actually living in Louisiana where she was watching those same music legends.

Marcia Ball is an award-winning singer/songwriter, pianist who currently lives in Austin, Texas.

"The Tattooed Lady and the Alligator Man" is one funny song about, I guess, what are they circus people, or what's the story there?

- I have a friend who actually says that her father was a carny.

He was a traveling carnival guy.

She says how many people in the audience are carnies?

And the other day I thought, you know what?

That's what we are.

We're carnival people, we're traveling carnies, and we just go out and pitch our show.

- I asked Marcia to share a few lyrics.

- When she was just 18 she got her first tattoo.

It was a little green gator with a smiling face.

She put it in a private place.

- I love that line.

(both laughing) I was so hoping you'd sing that one.

- She said don't you know this is just a start?

She turned herself into a work of art.

- Marcia spoke about two of her greatest influences, Allen Toussaint and Irma Thomas.

- I did, I got to know him, and just loved him so much.

He wrote so many of the New Orleans hits.

And he wrote either under his own name, or under his mother's maiden name, which was Naomi Neville, but he wrote for Ernie K-Doe.

He wrote for Irma Thomas, and Irma is my lode stone as far as singing and music goes, and how you conduct your life and carry yourself.

- Marcia is also an accomplished cook.

Louisiana gumbo is legendary.

The thick, savory stew is known for its deliciousness and lengthy preparation times.

Marcia gave me her recipe for a special version when unexpected guests arrive.

- So, well, emergency gumbo is this, it's a little bit sacrilegious, but in order to start a gumbo, you put oil in a heavy pot and flour equal parts, maybe a cup and a cup.

And you turn the heat on and you start to stir.

And you stir and stir until it becomes the color of that ceiling up there, which is hard because if it's the color of that trim back there, that's not dark enough, but if it gets too close to that you might burn it.

Then it turns into that piano and then you're in trouble, but it takes a long time, a half an hour or something, you know, to do that.

- Now, can I just ask, pardon me, is this what some cooks would use butter for?

They'd make what they call a roux, or R-O-U-X?

- It's a roux, that is called making a roux, but butter burns faster than oil so I use vegetable oil.

Most people do, or, well, there's a lot of ways to do it, but the trick is that that roux also comes in a jar.

- Hey, that's cheating.

- True Cajun cooks consider that sacrilegious to do that, but it's just oil and flour and it's already that color.

- I love it.

- But you skip that first half hour.

- Right.

- And there are a lot of ways to do it.

And you could make, ultimately, you could make a richer gumbo by putting oil in a pan.

Take your chicken pieces, brown them in that oil, take 'em out, put the flour in, do your stirring then, but if you're in a hurry and you want gumbo on the table in an hour, and not two or three hours.

- Right.

- You do what I'm doing and then you get rotisserie.

Well, so there's your roux, you add your broth.

First your vegetables and then your broth, and there's your gravy and you've got it all stirred up.

And then you get rotisserie chickens.

You just bone the meat into there, or you can cut it up into pieces and put them in there and you're done in the time it would take you to make a roux.

- That's fantastic.

Check out our website for more info on Marcia Ball and her music and a link to her emergency gumbo recipe.

Also, there's a link to the new Irma Thomas documentary, and a bio of Allen Toussaint (gentle music) (upbeat music) Thanks so much.

Please go to our website and take our survey, and let us know if you're interested in doing a video call interview with me.

I am really looking forward to hearing your story online.

(gentle music) (bright music)