♪ (upbeat music) - I did not see that invisible wounds are equally as impactful as visible wounds.

- [Narrator] Next on LOCAL, USA, vets and their health.

The transition from military to civilian life is full of challenges, and veterans across the country are finding their own solutions.

- After Iraq I was very dark, I was very depressed.

- I never sat down with a therapist before.

The truth of the matter was, it was very helpful.

- [Narrator] We go behind the scenes of Veterans Coming Home, a series of short stories that feature the voices of American veterans.

- He can tell when I'm starting to get anxious.

He'll automatically like come close to me.

- You can't do this by yourself.

Anybody that think they can do this by themselves, something's wrong.

- [Narrator] Learn how documentary filmmakers, vets, and PBS stations, came together.

- We wanted to create a snapshot of what typical veteran transition experiences look like.

- [Narrator] Veterans Coming Home, next on LOCAL, U.S.A. (upbeat music) Funding for LOCAL, U.S.A. was provided by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

Additional funding was provided by the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation, the Wyncote Foundation, and the National Endowment for the Arts.

- The most difficult part of getting out of the army was the fact that I was going from a defender of the country to being, like, now I'm a guy who does spreadsheets, right?

- I really was struggling, and I didn't know why.

- When it's over, it's like, okay, how do I adult?

- We produced a national series that involved interviewing veterans from across the country about some of the challenges that they faced when they transitioned back to being civilians, and we worked with more than a dozen PBS stations who told stories about people and programs in their local communities.

- I called my mom, and I just was honest.

You know, Mom, I've had several suicide attempts.

My life is off the rails.

I don't know what to do.

- I did not see that invisible wounds are as impactful as visible wounds.

- Now I'm teaching a comedy class for veterans, and I love it.

- I'm living the dream that I set out for myself, the goals that I set out for myself.

- Knowing that I could heal myself, I don't believe that anyone is lost.

- We have all known the journey.

We're all on the journey.

- We wanted to create a snapshot of what typical veteran transition experiences looked like.

We wanna have a nice mix of people from across the country.

- I remember that we didn't interview her in the end, because she was so far.

- [Kristin] And we basically made a big matrix of all the people that we had talked to, and what some of the key themes that their stories really embodied.

- I think the approach was just to be vulnerable.

That the difficulty transitioning the veteran community as a whole is ready to talk about it.

Working with another veteran on the project, we were able to go through some really eye-opening experiences together.

- Me and Garrett both infantry guys, on the road for months straight.

Every day there's a mission, get the best interview you possibly can get.

In order to get that, you need to get the authentic core of who this person is.

It helped me transition.

I hope that it would help other veterans who are watching it.

- I have bilateral DJD, I have a compressed L2, I have PTSD, I've got sleep apnea.

Should I be angry?

Should I be pissed off?

Should I be resentful?

Maybe.

But would I do it again?

Hell yeah.

Hell yeah, in a New York second.

- Here is the original one, it's pretty thin, but then as complications kept going, because around the belly button's really thick because they had to cut a whole bunch out.

I got shot on my second deployment.

I grabbed my stomach and I just scooped up this thickest mass of nonsense, and I looked at him, I was like MacElwee, man, you gotta check my stomach.

He looked over and he was like, with just this despair, because he was just like, there's nothing I can do with that.

When I got home, I was just angry.

I was so -- angry.

I was just like, I got shot in Afghanistan, I don't wanna hear about whatever, you know, your girlfriend broke up with you, suck it up, who gives a --.

- I went through a traumatic event where I would go through these spells where I wouldn't remember who I was, where I was, and what I was doing, and that caused me to wake up to the fact that something was wrong.

I thought it would be me failing my country by me applying for benefits, you know?

I didn't really need it.

I was on the Army Times.

I am a successful person.

I have intelligence, I can do my own thing.

Save it for those that are without, that are in wheelchairs.

Save it for those who have visible, tangible traumas.

I did not see that invisible wounds are equally as impactful in our community as visible wounds.

It's kind of like beat into your head, you're good, you're good.

- That's what you're taught.

They even school you when you get back from deployment.

This is what you say to the doc.

This is how you act, and then they'll clear you.

But I was a disaster.

I really was struggling, and I didn't know why.

I can't drive down the road and not see a truck or car that's heavily weighted down and not think that it's a vehicle-borne IED, or see stuff on the side of the road and think hey, there's probably a bomb in there.

Thankfully there's a guy at work who I wasn't even close to.

He kind of just hit me up, like hey, I know you were in the military too.

I went through this place, this thing, it might help you too, and I'm like nah, I'm good, right?

It was almost like an act of God.

He asked me about my deployment and if anything happened and I talked about the first IED that went off, and right when I said it, we had an earthquake, and I was like (laughs) holy (bleep) dude, are you serious?

So I went from I'm cool, talking, no problem to visibly shaken, and the guy looked at me like, okay.

Come on.

- When you're on your way out, I know every branch does this, you go through a program to help you transition out of the military, and what does that program consist of?

It's work and education.

That's it.

They should probably include a mental component.

And to bring this idea up and say hey guys, before you walk out the door, just wanna remind you that you've been trained to repress your feelings, and not talk about emotion, and that's not the right way to live life, so just think about that, take care.

You know, just a little reminder on their way out the door would probably go a long way.

- I don't know how long it took me to get close to normal, because I was on the pills for so long.

I was so addicted to them.

I was so addicted to these pills, and I would tell them that.

I would go in, I'm like, I love these pills.

I'm hooked on these pills, and they're like you're not addicted to them, your accustomed to them.

I'm like, I don't know what that means.

I don't even know who I am.

I have no idea who I am, so I had to go off all of them.

- The wrong way.

I just went cold turkey twice, and that was awful.

I tried it the first time, and I thought about murdering my entire family, like legitimately.

I even wrote a short story about murdering my sister and I left it out for her to find.

(laughs) In like a news format.

It was like, breaking news, dumb dies of... That's when I was like, okay, let's go back on the pills for a little bit.

(birds chirping) - I think that every veteran has to take some responsibility to quote unquote heal themselves.

We live in this culture that doesn't want any stress in their lives.

We take pills to get rid of stress.

We take pills for this, you know, and there was a point where the VA had me on five or six different pills.

You know, now I self-medicate.

I self-medicate with good food, exercise, and marijuana, That's what works for me.

And that's what works for a lot of veterans.

In fact, most veterans that I know do that but that's not pretty, and that isn't what we're sold.

That isn't what comes in a pretty bottle that our doctor tells us is good for us.

But you know what?

Sometimes we know what's best for us.

(birds chirping) - After Iraq I was very dark.

I was very depressed.

I only had like one person that I could really talk to.

On October 17th, 2011, he committed suicide.

On base, and it's true.

So the one person that was trying to cheer me up, he couldn't cheer himself up, and he committed suicide, and he had two kids and a wife, and it hurts so bad because I felt like, oh my goodness, I've been unloading on this man all my burdens, and this dude, he's on his third tour.

He's seen stuff.

I was so selfish.

I never said, hey, you need to talk about anything?

And he killed himself.

- The people that help the most I think hide the most.

It's almost like, I don't wanna be ID'd as a person that needs help.

I wanna be the person that's giving the help.

I had been having nightmares for a while, and by a while I mean from 2004 when I got blown up, and by a while I mean from 2004 when I got blown up, and I never talked to anybody about it.

I talked to one of my buddies and he said, yo, Reese, you need to go see somebody.

You need to talk to somebody.

I never sat down with a therapist before, so I felt a little ridiculous.

(laughs) The truth of the matter was, it was very helpful.

- So I agreed to go to this program for veterans, and it was scary.

I didn't really wanna do it.

I tried to leave the first day.

(laughs) It really kinda made me face myself and my issues, but it was super helpful having someone who knows what they're talking about, being able to draw on a whiteboard, hey this is what's going on in your head right now.

It's not... You're not weak, you're not crazy.

Other people are going through it, and being able to mitigate that through meditation and other practices.

Knowing that I could heal myself, my whole life changed.

I don't believe anyone is lost.

- I'm a firm believer that your body doesn't wanna be in pain, and neither does your brain, or your heart.

They want to fix things.

IF you just give it a little time, give it what it needs, and for me, that was comedy.

I've always loved it, I always looked up to comedians, and so I'm like, let's try it.

So I started writing.

I had never been so happy I don't think ever, I try not to call it like I use it as therapy, but that's basically what I'm doing.

Any problem that I have, I just go out there and I just try and make it funny.

Now I'm teaching a comedy class, and I'm teaching veterans how to be funny and write jokes, and it's awesome, and I love it, and I get to help so many other people in just like my own little niche way.

-Oh, on the first date!

When I was in a lot of pain, I thought it was gonna be like that forever.

It gets better.

It's not gonna happen overnight, it's gonna be slow, and it's gonna be painful, and it's either gonna hurt emotionally or physically, but in time everything heals.

Real kisses.

Kisses.

Good boy.

- [Kristin] We interviewed a number of veterans who had service dogs, and they talked over and over and over again about how those dogs really transformed their lives.

- He turned my whole little life around.

I feel like a lot of it is just being responsible for something all the time, like when you're out in public.

Like, I know I cannot get into this fight, what am I going to do with him?

- We worked with about 14 PBS stations who created local content.

The stations would pitch story ideas, we'd workshop those story ideas having video conference calls.

What's the process look like?

Can you describe that in a little more detail?

- A lot of these veterans have kind of exhausted all other means and it takes time for them to get used to opening themselves up to another living being.

So this story, it really focuses on a program up in Schofield, Wisconsin called Patriot K9 Partners that pairs veterans with shelter dogs.

What stuck out about this program in particular was they were training the vets and the dog together.

They had really built this bond over this course of this several month program.

You can see the tension in those interviews, and how difficult it is for them just to talk about their experience, and having a dog aid these people, these heroes in that journey, it's a fairytale relationship.

- It's kinda hard to talk to people for a long time 'cause...

I don't know.

It's nobody's fault, you know, but in a way, I was just completely angry with everybody, really.

- If you go out into the ocean one day and you get attached by a shark, can you think about ever going back out into that ocean again, and enjoying the experience?

To me, that's going outside of my front door.

- I think we all have that turning point in our life where it comes down to almost losing everything and everyone that's important to you before you finally say, maybe it's time for me to look into getting some help.

- You did really good.

- See his ears pinned?

- [Man] Mmhmm.

- He knows something's going on, but he's listening to you.

- My name is Sarah, and I am the CEO and founder of Patriot K9s of Wisconsin.

We are a service dog program that helps and trains certified services dogs for military veterans diagnosed with PTSD, traumatic brain injury, and or military sexual trauma, or any of the combination.

We pair shelter dog and veteran, and we bring them back once a week, an hour and a half for six consecutive months.

- For the last couple of years, I had been talking with my husband about the possibility of getting a service dog, but it's hard for you to uproot your life for three months to go train with your dog, between the husband, kids and work.

I mean, how do you manage all that?

So the fact that they're local was number one, and the fact that they're so friendly, and just willing to teach and work with you and your dog.

- See how we're all laughing, and what are they doing?

- [Man] They're just chilling.

- They're behaving, because you're not worried about it, you're not obsessed about it.

Only about one in 50 dogs can make the cut to be a service dog.

We've gotten them from the local Humane Societies, around the surrounding counties.

When the right dog comes in and then they give us a call we're saving two lives at once.

You look at the statistics rate, 22 veterans per day nationwide, approximately, commit suicide because of their disability, and we're bringing in a shelter dog.

We're giving them both a second chance.

They're starting that bond from day one, and they're also developing something that you just can't create in a week or two.

Our program, we train you, and we train your dog together.

- It's an amazing opportunity to one, be the one to train him, it's really helped strengthen up our bond together.

- They're trained to do deep pressure therapy, they're trained to do tasks to protect and alert from behind, and then the end is all public access work.

We do public buildings, we do elevators, we do city transportation, we do stores, and you are focusing on trying to find what you need to find, but you also have to be aware of what your K9 is telling you.

It can smell, it can sense, it picks up on everything, and it starts coming in and working.

- He can tell when I'm starting to get anxious, or when there's something that is coming, like I'm gonna have flashbacks or an episode.

He'll automatically come close to me, or he'll, at the house, when I'm having a little hard time, he'll come and put his legs on top of me like hey, you know?

- One of the things that's good for you as a veteran is that he's responsive to you.

That sort of teamwork mentality, it really sets in well with kind of the mentality of a veteran.

- Good leaving, good.

Good job boy.

- Approximately 94% of veterans on alternative therapies services dogs are showing exponential growth and reduction in either chemical therapies that they need to use, and or social and psychological therapies.

We interject fun, and we interject relaxation, and they start warming up, and they start developing a camaraderie for each other and within the group.

- I've also come to find that even before coming here, the anxiety levels are a little higher, and as soon as we get into training it all melts away.

- After 11 years of being in therapy and anger management groups and all kinds of stuff, honestly, this is like a miracle pill, you know?

All of a sudden I can do things that they talked about in therapies, but I never thought I could do.

- It's like having the old Jen back.

You know, when she was little, there was this joy of life and everything else, and now I feel like we're getting that back.

You know, the pre-Iraq Jennifer, and that's been huge for her.

For all of us, actually.

- It engages people in conversation with me.

It's starting to happen so much more naturally now.

I'm able to have a lot more sleep, which has given me a more stable day.

He's um.

He's changed my life.

- If you have the opportunity to do this, do it, because the truth is, you're not broken.

You have a lot to offer.

- [Kristin] In talking to veterans about health, I would say the biggest thing that emerged was the importance of asking for help.

That you're trained throughout your military career to never ask for help, to never be vulnerable, and that's a really hard switch to make for a lot of people.

- Everybody line up.

You can be timekeeper, John.

Step forward in a back stance, knife hand low.

- [Kristin] Anthony Smith's story, to me, really embodies kind of the ultimate veteran overcoming a serious injury.

He's someone who is willing to be vulnerable enough to let people help him, and that's what made his success possible.

- The Reno brothers, who are independent filmmakers here in Arkansas, they told me the story of Anthony where they were embedded with his unit in 2004 in Iraq when this attack happened.

- This is the flag that President Obama gave me.

I take all my tops to the school and leave all my pants here because I like ironing and putting that crease in my pants.

- So over the next almost decade, they continued to follow Anthony through his journey, through the near hundreds of surgeries.

What I seemed to witness in that video was a very early realization on Anthony's part that in order for me to achieve what I still want to achieve, I'm gonna have to accept help.

He wanted to get that message out to other veterans.

Go ahead and reach out and accept that help.

- You can't do this by yourself.

Anybody that think they can do this by themself, something's wrong.

- Forward inside block.

Back stand, working on the back stand.

Reach and grab.

It was on the morning of April 24th, 2004.

Our unit came under attack.

All right, ready.

(grunts) (grunts) All right, now turn it into a back.

I feel my body jerking, that's when I found out I got hit with 50 cal rounds to my body, and then a mortar went off.

All right, throw the leg over, press and kick.

I didn't hit him hard.

(laughs) I remember the chaplain trying to read the 23rd Psalms over me and I'm like aw, bro, I 'aint dead yet.

Ready, three.

But the whole time, I was dead.

Turn your body.

Bring that leg up and side kick.

Come down, knife hand strikes.

Hand comes across the body, turn, center block.

Y'all with me so far?

Ready, four.

Punch.

Good, try to keep that leg straight.

- Keep your knee straight.

(grunts) - My biggest problem during recovery was my head, my mind, because I had to get myself to accept that I did have a disability, and I needed to figure out a way to handle the disability.

My mind kept getting mad because I couldn't do the stuff I used to do, so I had to push myself through those type of things, so mine was more mental than it was physical.

Once I got my head in the game, and I started figuring out how to make my body work the way I needed to work.

- What I want you to start with is I want you to work on standing on your right leg as you bring the left leg up.

(grunts) Very good, very good.

Shift that weight there.

(exhales) Lower that leg down, very good.

Do you need to rest?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, I think took a little of out of him.

(laughs) - My biggest thing that's worked for me is my family support system.

My oldest daughter Jasmine, see I'm about to cry now.

(laughs) That was my biggest support, 'cause when I woke up she was encouraging me.

When it seemed like I didn't have nobody around, she was there encouraging me.

Then my wife Tameka, she was there holding me up.

When everything was going bad, she actually had the right to leave, but she stayed, (laughs) so I actually had an awesome, you'll have to excuse me for a minute there, every time I think about them, I had an awesome support system, and if it hadn't been for my oldest sister, I think she lost her job trying to support me, I think she lost her relationship trying to support me, but she stayed at the hospital with me, my uncle stayed at the hospital with me.

Everybody made that sacrifice to make sure I was gonna be all right.

So my biggest thing is to accept help, because a lot of veterans, they're not accepting that help to move forward.

You can't do this by yourself.

Anybody that think they can do this by themself, something's wrong.

Inside block, reach and grab, hand comes up, step forward, inside block, back stand.

Working on the back stand.

Reach and grab, hand comes up, step forward.

You better fight, come on.

- [Narrator] Find stories from Vets Coming Home online at the Vets Coming Home Facebook page, or log on to worldchannel.org.

Send us a comment across social media using #VetsComingHome or #worldchannel.

Funding for LOCAL, U.S.A. was provided by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

Additional funding was provided by the John D. And Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation, the Wyncote Foundation, and the National Endowment for the Arts.