>> GOOD MORNING, PORTWENN.

CAROLINE HERE WITH YOU ONCE AGAIN.

WE HAVE A SPECIAL TREAT TODAY.

OUR VERY OWN DR. RUTH ELLINGHAM WILL BE HERE IN PERSON TO PICK OUR BRAINS.

HOPE SHE’S GENTLE.

BUT FIRST, A TRAFFIC UPDATE.

THERE’S A BROKEN-DOWN TRACTOR BLOCKING FITZSIMMONS LANE.

SO PLEASE FIND AN ALTERNATIVE ROUTE UNTIL NED AND WESTIE CAN MOVE IT OUT OF THE WAY.

WHAT A DISASTER.

>> GOOD MORNING.

SORRY.

HAD TO CHANGE GRANDDAD’S FLOWERS.

SORRY.

>> YES.

LANDON.

RIGHT.

>> MARTIN, YOU’LL HAVE TO HOLD THE FORT TILL MEL GETS HERE.

>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HOLD THE FORT?

>> I CAN’T BE LATE ON THE FIRST DAY BACK.

>> LOUISA, CAN I HAVE A WORD, PLEASE?

I’M SORRY, BUT SURGERY OPENS AT HALF PAST 8:00.

>> PLEASE, MARTIN.

>> WHAT TIME IS YOUR WOMAN GETTING HERE?

>> 8:15, AND SHE’S NOT MY WOMAN.

SHE’S OUR CHILD MINDER.

>> WELL, YOU CHOSE HER.

>> AFTER YOU FRIGHTENED EVERYBODY ELSE OFF.

>> MORNING.

>> YOU’RE LATE.

>> MORNING, MEL.

>> SORRY.

I GOT HELD UP.

>> YEAH.

NO HARM DONE.

>> YES, THERE IS.

SURGERY STARTS AT 8:30.

YOU SHOULD BE HERE IN ADVANCE, AS AGREED.

>> SORRY.

>> WHY ARE YOU SCRATCHING?

>> ITCHY JUMPER.

>> I’LL MISS YOU.

>> WHAT?

>> I SAID I’LL MISS YOU.

>> YES.

>> HE HAD A GOOD FEED AT 7:00, SO PERHAPS TRY HIM AGAIN AT 9:00-ISH.

BYE-BYE.

BYE, DARLING.

>> YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

BIG HOUSE LIKE THAT, IT’S A WASTE.

IF YOU GET SOMEONE IN, YOU CAN HAVE COMPANY AND SPLIT THE BILLS.

>> YEAH, MAYBE.

SEEMS DISRESPECTFUL SOMEHOW.

>> WELL, COME ON, THEN.

NOTES.

>> YOU OWE IT TO HIM, SWEET MAN THAT HE WAS.

HE’D EXPECT YOU TO SHARE YOUR GOOD FORTUNE.

YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

[MUSIC PLAYING] >> HERE.

THEY’RE LOVELY PEOPLE THERE.

>> OH, YEAH?

>> WELL, I TOLD THEM THAT THE ROOMS AT THE CRAB ARE A BIT NOISY, AND THEY ARE SAVING MONEY.

SO THEY WANT TO STAY HERE.

>> WELL, HOW DO YOU MEAN?

>> OH, YOUR ROOM.

YOU CAN BUNK IN WITH ME TEMPORARILY.

WE’LL SEE HOW IT GOES.

>> MY ROOM?

>> WELL, WE CAN’T AFFORD LUXURIES, HAVING A ROOM EACH.

I MEAN, THAT’S DAFT IN THIS CURRENT FINANCIAL CLIMATE.

[MUSIC PLAYING] >> RADIO.

>> ♪ RADIO PORTWENN ♪ >> THIS IS RADIO PORTWENN, SERVING...PORTWENN.

>> AND WE’RE BACK WITH DR. RUTH ELLINGHAM.

DR. RUTH, PSYCHIATRY--YOU RECKON IT WORKS, THEN?

>> WELL, I’VE DEVOTED MY WHOLE LIFE TO IT, SO, YES, OF COURSE I THINK IT WORKS.

>> IT MUST BE VERY INTERESTING KNOWING WHAT MAKES PEOPLE TICK, THE INNERMOST WORKINGS OF THE HUMAN BRAIN, SO TO SPEAK.

DO YOU FIND IT MAKES FOLK WARY, THOUGH?

>> WHAT?

>> WELL...JUST SITTING HERE WITH YOU NOW, I FIND MYSELF A BIT IN AWE KNOWING YOU CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME.

>> I’M NOT JUDGING YOU.

I’M A DOCTOR.

>> SOME DOCTORS CAN BE QUITE JUDGMENTAL, THOUGH.

>> WELL, I’M NOT.

I THINK THAT’S APPARENT IN THE BOOK, ISN’T IT?

>> I COULDN’T ACTUALLY LOCATE A COPY UNTIL YOU BROUGHT THIS IN.

>> YOU CAN GET IT AT STONEMAN’S IN WEYBRIDGE... >> CALL ON LINE 3.

>> JUST 15.99.

>> JUST A MINUTE.

WE HAVE A CALL FROM... >> CLIFF.

>> CLIFF.

HELLO, CLIFF.

YOU’RE ON THE AIR WITH DR. RUTH.

GO AHEAD.

>> HELLO, DOCTOR?

>> [SIGH] HELLO, CLIFF.

>> HAVE YOU READ DR. RUTH’S BOOK, CLIFF?

>> NOT EXACTLY, BUT I COULD USE SOME ADVICE.

>> WHAT SORT OF ADVICE, CLIFF?

>> I FIND IT DIFFICULT TO MAKE FRIENDS.

>> OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

I DON’T DO THIS.

>> OH, UM, WHY IS THAT, CLIFF?

>> THAT’S THE PROBLEM.

I DON’T KNOW.

I MEAN, I THINK I’M QUITE NICE, BUT...I JUST SEEM TO PUT PEOPLE OFF.

>> WHY DO YOU SUPPOSE THAT COULD BE, DOCTOR?

[WHISPERING] >> WELL, UM...DO YOU SET YOURSELF VERY HIGH STANDARDS, CLIFF?

>> VERY.

>> AND ARE YOU SIMILARLY CRITICAL OF OTHERS AS YOU ARE OF YOURSELF?

>> OHH.

THAT IS BRILLIANT.

>> IS IT?

>> WELL, IT’S JUST A POSSIBILITY, BUT THE THING IS, CLIFF, NOBODY LIKES BEING CRITICIZED ALL THE TIME.

IT’S OFF-PUTTING.

>> THAT IS SO TRUE.

DO YOU SEE THAT, CLIFF?

>> YES.

YES, OF COURSE.

>> ARE YOU GONNA GIVE IT A TRY?

>> GIVE WHAT A TRY?

>> WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID.

>> OH, YES.

YES, I WILL.

>> LET’S TAKE A BREAK AND GO DOWN MEXICO WAY.

[MUSIC PLAYING] >> [SOBBING] >> I DON’T KNOW WHY I BOTHER.

>> I’M OFF, THEN, DOCTOR.

YOUR AUNT’S ON THE RADIO.

>> SHE’S WHAT?

>> YEAH, 5:00 ROUNDUP.

SEE YOU TOMORROW?

>> IS THAT A RASH?

LET ME LOOK.

>> I’M PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.

GOOD NIGHT, MORWENNA.

>> BYE.

>> MORWENNA, MAKE AN APPOINTMENT FOR, UM, WHATEVER HER NAME IS TOMORROW MORNING, PLEASE.

>> MEL.

OH.

>> HOW ARE YOU, JAMES?

ANY ITCHING?

[MUSIC PLAYING] >> SO, TO SUM UP, YOUR BASIC ADVICE IS, BASICALLY, BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE, RIGHT?

>> NO, THAT’S NOT IT.

>> IS THAT RUTH?

>> YES.

>> PERHAPS IF YOU’D READ THE BOOK, YOU MIGHT UNDERSTAND.

>> WELL, OK, DR. RUTH, THAT’S BEEN MOST INTERESTING.

>> WHAT’S SHE DOING ON THE RADIO?

>> PLUGGING HER BOOK.

HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

>> YES.

IT WAS WEIRD BEING WITHOUT YOU TWO, BUT PRETTY GOOD ON THE WHOLE.

AND HOW DID YOU GET ON WITHOUT ME?

>> FINE.

>> GOOD.

>> HELLO!

>> HELLO.

ALL RIGHT, CRYSTAL.

>> IS IT A DOUBLE?

>> DOUBLE WHAT?

>> BED.

IN THE ROOM YOU’RE RENTING?

>> OH.

WELL, I HAVEN’T REALLY DECIDED YET ABOUT RENTING.

>> IS THAT FREEVIEW OR SUBSCRIPTION?

>> I’M NOT SURE.

>> 46 INCH.

>> NICE, EH?

>> ALL RIGHT, THEN.

WE’LL GIVE IT A TRY.

>> THEY’LL TAKE IT.

>> NO, THEY WON’T.

I MEAN, I’M SEEING OTHER PEOPLE.

>> COME ON, MORWENNA.

IT WAS MY IDEA.

CRYSTAL’S BEEN AT HOME 19 YEARS NOW.

TIME SHE SPREAD HER WINGS.

>> WELL, I WASN’T LOOKING FOR A COUPLE, ACTUALLY.

>> YOU DON’T HAVE TO TAKE HIM.

SHE CAN COME ON HER OWN.

>> OH, NO, SHE CAN’T.

>> SORRY.

NO.

GOOD-BYE.

>> TELL YOU WHAT.

LET’S JUST TRY IT TONIGHT AND SEE HOW WE GET ON.

>> SNOB.

>> HE’S FAST ASLEEP.

>> YES.

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> UM... COME HERE AND SIT DOWN, AND I’LL SHOW YOU.

YOU SEE HOW THIS IS WORN HERE.

>> MM-HMM.

>> ON THE HOUR, THE LIFTING ARM DROPS OFF THIS PIN, DO YOU SEE?

>> MMM.

>> AND THE STRIKING MECHANISM IS RELEASED.

[DING] >> IT’S OUR TWO-WEEK ANNIVERSARY TOMORROW.

>> WHAT IS?

>> OUR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, IT’S TWO WEEKS TOMORROW.

>> THAT’S NOT ANNIVERSARY, THEN, IS IT?

IT’S TWO WEEKS.

YOU SEE HOW THIS HOLE HAS BECOME OVAL WITH WEAR.

NOW, YOU SEE, YOU CAN EITHER REPLACE A SECTION OF BASEPLATE THERE OR BORE IT OUT AND FIT A--A LARGER PIN.

LOOK.

THAT’S THE, UH--THAT’S... >> [SNORING] UM...AHH.

AHH... AHH.

>> [SIGH] [GRUNTING] >> ♪ ...ALL THINGS BRIGHT ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL ALL THINGS WISE AND WONDERFUL THE LORD GOD MADE THEM ALL ♪ >> THANK YOU.

NOW, DON’T FORGET TO LOOK OUT FOR THE NEW CHILDREN THAT ARE JOINING US THIS TERM, OK?

YOU MAKE SURE THEY’RE ALL RIGHT, OK?

[CHILDREN ALL TALKING AT ONCE] YEAH.

OH.

YEAH.

NOW, LISTEN UP.

NOW, MEMBERS OF THE ORCHESTRA, YOU NEED TO BE HERE BY 6:00, OK?

>> SHARP.

>> SHARP, FOR A REFRESHER REHEARSAL WITH MS. WOODLEY BECAUSE THE CONCERT STARTS AT 7:00.

LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU THEN, OK?

GO BACK TO YOUR CLASSES NOW.

THANK YOU.

>> SILLY.

>> TONIGHT’S GONNA BE A DISASTER.

THE CHILDREN CAN’T REMEMBER A THING AFTER THE HOLIDAYS.

>> OH, THEY’LL BE FINE.

GO ON, ON YOU GO.

>> A FEW OF US ARE GOING FOR A BITE AFTER, PROBABLY THE CRAB.

DO YOU WANT TO COME?

>> UM... >> OR WILL YOU WANT TO GET BACK TO DR. ELLINGHAM?

I MEAN, YOU’D BOTH BE MORE THAN WELCOME, OF COURSE, BUT HE DON’T REALLY GO OUT, DOES HE?

>> OH, HE DOES.

I MEAN, HE WANTS TO, NOW WE’RE MARRIED.

HE’S COMING TO THE CONCERT.

>> NO.

>> YEP.

NO, HE IS.

BUT I THINK WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET BACK STRAIGHT AFTER.

WE’RE NOT USED TO LEAVING JAMES HENRY WITH A SITTER, SO... >> BUT YOU’RE BOTH COMING TO THE CONCERT?

>> YEP.

SHOULD BE FUN.

>> WELL, I NEVER.

COME ON.

HURRY UP.

[KNOCK ON DOOR] >> COME IN.

WHAT IS IT?

>> MY APPOINTMENT?

>> OH, YES.

THANK YOU.

MORWENNA?

>> WHAT?

>> WILL YOU LOOK AFTER JAMES, PLEASE, WHILST I EXAMINE KELLY?

>> HER NAME’S MEL, AND I’M SORRY, I DON’T DO BABIES AT WORK.

>> COME ON, JUST FOR 5 MINUTES.

>> NO.

>> 3.

>> HERE, DOC, GIVE HIM HERE.

>> NO.

TAKE OFF YOUR BLOUSE, AND SIT ON THE, UH, COUCH.

>> PLEASE.

>> HAVE YOU ANY OTHER SYMPTOMS APART FROM THE ITCHING?

>> I DO GET A BIT TIRED, BUT THAT’S JUST LIFE.

>> OH, NO, IT ISN’T.

AHEM.

HOW OLD ARE YOU?

>> 45.

>> GOD.

DO YOU TAKE ANY EXERCISE?

>> LOOK, DOCTOR.

I GOT A TINY BIT OF ITCH, AND I’M ACTUALLY NOT THAT BOTHERED.

>> EW.

>> WHAT IS IT?

>> THAT’S A FUNGUS.

>> FUNGUS?

>> CANDIDA INTERTRIGO.

IT’S A FUNGAL INFECTION.

>> WHAT, LIKE A VIRUS?

>> NO.

IT’S A YEAST THAT FLOURISHES IN THE MOIST FOLDS OF SKIN ON FAT PEOPLE.

>> EXCUSE ME.

>> DO YOU BATHE AT ALL?

>> YES, I DO!

>> WELL, IT’S OBVIOUSLY TIME TO STEP IT UP.

GET AMONGST THESE CREVICES AND SLUICE THEM OUT.

DRYING PROPERLY IS IMPORTANT, TOO.

USE A CLEAN TOWEL.

>> MY TOWELS ARE ALWAYS CLEAN.

>> I HOPE THIS DOESN’T REFLECT THE LEVEL OF CARE YOU’RE GIVING TO OUR SON.

LOOKING AFTER AN INFANT MAY SEEM EASY, BUT IT STILL NEEDS TO BE DONE TO A STANDARD.

>> I HAVE STANDARDS.

>> YOU ALSO HAVE SKIN FUNGUS.

>> WELL, YOU MIND HIM, THEN.

I ONLY COME HERE BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WOULD AND LOUISA BEGGED ME.

>> AND WE PAY YOU.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, I HAVE OTHER PATIENTS.

>> WELL, YOU’LL HAVE TO MULTI-TASK, THEN, WON’T YOU?

SHOULDN’T BE A PROBLEM, CLEVER MAN LIKE YOU.

>> OH, COME ON, DON’T BE RIDICULOUS.

MILLIE.

>> IF I DON’T SEE LOUISA, WOULD YOU EXPLAIN TO HER WHY I SHAN’T BE BABY-SITTING THIS EVENING?

BYE, MORWENNA.

>> DIDN’T WORK OUT, THEN?

>> I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU PUT UP WITH IT.

>> NEXT PATIENT.

>> SO YOU’RE ON THE RADIO NOW?

>> YES.

WELL, JUST THE ONCE.

>> YOU SHOULD DO IT AGAIN, DEFINITELY.

>> CAROLINE DID SUGGEST IT.

CAN YOU PUT THIS ON MY TAB?

>> YOU WERE BRILLIANT.

>> NO.

>> OH, YES, VERY MUCH SO.

>> OH, HELLO.

>> YOU WERE ON THE RADIO.

>> OH, DID YOU CATCH IT?

>> SORT OF.

>> WELL, IT WAS FOR THE BOOK.

THE PUBLISHERS MAKE YOU DO IT.

WHY ARE YOU CARRYING THE BABY?

>> COULD YOU HAVE HIM TONIGHT?

IT WON’T BE FOR LONG.

LOUISA WANTS ME TO GO TO SOME THING AT THE SCHOOL.

>> NO, MARTIN.

I TRIED IT, AND IT’S ONE OF THE VERY FEW AREAS FOR WHICH I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO APTITUDE.

>> RIGHT.

>> SO WHEN YOU GONNA BE DOING IT AGAIN, THEN?

>> WHAT DID YOU LIKE ABOUT IT?

>> EVERYTHING, ALL OF IT.

YOU AND CAROLINE AND THAT BIT WHERE THAT GUY PHONED IN.

>> ISN’T THAT A BIT ODD TO COME ON THE RADIO WITH YOUR PERSONAL PROBLEMS?

>> WHAT ELSE IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO?

I MEAN, CLIFF--HE WAS CALLED CLIFF--HE’S IN A TIGHT SPOT, YOU’RE AN EXPERT.

SO WHAT’S ODD ABOUT IT?

ALTHOUGH I DON’T THINK HE QUITE UNDERSTOOD YOUR ADVICE.

>> NO?

WELL, PERHAPS I DIDN’T EXPLAIN IT VERY WELL.

>> NO?

>> HIS PROBLEM MAY NOT BE EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS.

IT MAY BE THAT INSIDE, HE FEELS A BIT INADEQUATE, AND SO HE COMPENSATES BY ALWAYS PRETENDING TO BE STRONG AND IMPORTANT, AND THAT COULD ANNOY PEOPLE.

>> ANNOY THEM?

>> WELL, PUT THEM OFF.

MAYBE WHAT HE SHOULD DO IS FORGET ABOUT HIMSELF AND FOCUS ON THEM INSTEAD, THINK OF SOMETHING TO ADMIRE ABOUT THEM.

EVERYONE LIKES TO BE ADMIRED.

HE’D HAVE LOADS OF FRIENDS IN NO TIME.

IT’S JUST A THOUGHT.

WELL, I MUST GET ON.

>> HOW OFTEN DOES IT HAPPEN?

>> IT’S DIFFICULT TO SAY.

I REALLY CAN’T.

>> ABOUT 15 TIMES A DAY IS AVERAGE, ANYTHING BETWEEN 10 TO 20.

>> SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT.

>> RIGHT.

DOES IT RELIEVE THE DISCOMFORT?

>> NOT REALLY, NO.

>> STAY THERE.

>> [JAMES CRYING] >> THAT’S YOUR LAST PATIENT.

I’M OFF.

>> HI, MORWENNA.

>> HELLO, MRS. ELLINGHAM.

>> WHERE’S JAMES HENRY?

>> BEEN CRYING A LOT.

>> HAS HE?

HELLO.

WHERE’S MEL, THE NANNY?

>> SHE LEFT.

>> LEFT?

>> YES.

I’VE HAD TO LOOK AFTER HIM AND RUN A BUSY MEDICAL PRACTICE.

>> GONE?

>> I KNOW.

>> WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED, MARTIN?

>> WELL, YOU REMEMBER THAT ITCH THAT SHE HAD.

I PRESCRIBED A SIMPLE MEDICAL TREATMENT, AND SHE FLEW OFF THE HANDLE.

EXCUSE ME.

I HAVE A PATIENT WAITING.

>> [SIGH] BUT, MARTIN!

IT’S THE SCHOOL CONCERT TONIGHT.

WHO’S GONNA BABY-SIT?

>> WELL, THAT’S ALL RIGHT.

I WON’T GO.

>> BUT YOU’RE EXPECTED TO GO.

>> BY WHO?

>> ME!

THAT’S EXACTLY THE POINT, MARTIN.

NOBODY EXPECTS YOU TO GO ANYWHERE.

>> I’M SORRY, YOU’VE LOST ME.

>> YOU SHOULD WANT TO GO.

YOU’RE MARRIED TO THE HEADMISTRESS.

>> I DO.

I DO WANT TO, BUT SHE WALKED OUT.

>> MRS. ELLINGHAM.

I HOPE I’M NOT LATE.

>> LATE FOR WHAT?

>> YOUR AUNT SAID YOU NEED A BABYSITTER.

I GAVE HER A HAND A COUPLE OF WEEKS BACK.

>> HOW?

>> I WAS DOING THE ELECTRICS WHEN YOU WERE OFF AT THE LODGE.

>> OH, YOU’RE MIKE.

>> KEEP OUT OF THIS, MORWENNA.

>> MIKE FIXED YOUR ELECTRICS WHEN YOUR AUNTIE WAS LOOKING AFTER JAMES.

SHE’S NO GOOD WITH BABIES, BUT AL SAYS MIKE’S A NATURAL.

HUGE FAMILY, LOADS OF BABIES.

>> RIGHT.

>> NOT HIS OWN, OF COURSE.

YOU’RE THE UNCLE, AREN’T YOU, MIKE?

>> WELL, I’M HAPPY TO HELP.

>> UM... >> WELL, THERE YOU ARE.

NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

OH, HE’S... >> YEAH.

[SNIFFS] OH, SOMEONE NEEDS A NAPPY CHANGE.

>> HE HAD A NAPPY CHANGE.

>> COME ON.

>> GO AND SIT DOWN.

>> AHEM.

>> OH, COME ON.

ALL RIGHT, IT’S NOT A ZOO.

>> ♪ WHAT HAVE WE HERE?

STILL DEJECTED, I FEAR CHEER UP, FOX LESS OF THE TEARS ’CAUSE YOUR SUPPER IS HERE CHEER UP, FOX IF YOU DON’T EAT YOU’LL BE DEAD IN A WEEK HEAVEN KNOWS SEE WHAT I’VE BROUGHT YOU IT AIN’T BREAD AND WATER CHEER UP, FOX CHEER UP, FOX ♪ [APPLAUSE] [INDISTINCT CHATTER] >> YOU READ ABOUT ALL THIS BULLYING AND SO ON, AND SHE’S A BIT OF A SENSITIVE CHILD--LIKES THE ARTS, THAT SORT OF THING.

>> I’M SURE LOLA WILL FIT RIGHT IN.

WE’LL KEEP AN EYE ON HER.

DON’T YOU WORRY.

>> THANK YOU.

IS YOUR SON MUSICAL, WOULD YOU SAY, DR. ELLINGHAM?

>> WELL... >> I DON’T KNOW.

HE’S A BABY.

>> WELL, DOES HE BOB HIS HEAD AROUND WHEN MUSIC COMES ON THE TELLY?

>> WE DON’T WATCH THE TELEVISION.

>> GOOD SHOW.

>> THANK YOU.

COULDN’T YOU JUST TRY A LITTLE?

>> TRY WHAT?

>> I MEAN, I KNOW YOU’RE HERE AND EVERYTHING, AND THANKS FOR THAT, BUT COULDN’T YOU JUST TRY TALKING A BIT?

>> WHAT’S THE POINT IN TALKING IF YOU’VE GOT NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT?

>> TO BE SOCIABLE.

>> LOUISA!

>> OH.

>> WHOOPS.

VERY NICE EVENING, LOUISA.

GOOD EFFORT.

>> THANK YOU.

>> GOING FOR THE BONUS, EH?

>> HE’S NOT SERIOUS, MARTIN.

HEAD TEACHERS HAVE TO MEET A QUOTA FOR AFTERSCHOOL ACTIVITIES TO QUALIFY FOR AN ANNUAL BONUS, AND IT’S A VERY SMALL ONE.

>> YOU CAN ALWAYS GIVE IT TO ME IF YOU DON’T WANT.

>> HA HA HA!

DENNIS IS THE CHAIR OF THE SCHOOL GOVERNORS.

NOW, DENNIS, DO YOU KNOW MY HUSBAND, MARTIN?

>> NO.

I MAKE IT A POINT TO STEER CLEAR OF LAWYERS AND DOCTORS.

>> OH.

>> NO OFFENSE, MARTIN.

I HAVE HEARD ABOUT YOU, OF COURSE.

WE’RE HONORED HE COULD BE HERE, LOUISA.

OR HAS MRS. ELLINGHAM JUST BROUGHT YOU ALONG TO BUTTER ME UP?

>> OH.

YOU SEE, WE’RE GONNA BUILD THE MOST WONDERFUL GYM INSTALLATION OUT THERE, BUT DENNIS HERE THINKS IT’S A TAD EXPENSIVE.

>> I JUST ASK, IS IT THE BEST USE OF LIMITED FINANCES, IS ALL?

>> YES, I THINK IT IS.

>> ARE WE BORING YOU, DR. ELLINGHAM?

>> WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME TO DINNER?

IF YOU HAVE A PARTNER OR A WIFE, YOU COULD BRING THEM, TOO.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, DARLING?

>> WHY, YES.

>> WELL, THAT WOULD BE VERY NICE.

WHEN?

>> TONIGHT.

>> MARTIN, WE HAVEN’T GOT ANYTHING... >> IT’S A BIT SHORT NOTICE.

>> TOMORROW, THEN.

>> WHY NOT?

WHY NOT?

>> WHAT TIME?

>> 7:30.

>> PERFECT.

>> EXCUSE ME.

>> WHAT?

>> WHY HIM?

>> I WAS JUST BEING SOCIABLE.

>> HE’S SUCH A BORE.

>> WELL, YOU SEEMED TO LIKE HIM.

>> LOOK WHO’S HERE.

>> HELLO, JOE.

>> YOU LOOK AMAZING, LOUISA, FANTASTIC.

>> REALLY?

THANK YOU.

>> I REALLY ADMIRE YOUR DRESS.

I ADMIRE YOU, TOO, DOC--YOUR TIE, EVERYTHING.

FANTASTIC.

BOTH OF YOU, THE SAME.

I BET YOU FEEL GOOD.

YOU SHOULD DO.

>> NICE TO SEE YOU, JOE.

>> NO, IT’S NOT.

>> BYE.

>> ...ASPARAGUS.

>> YES, BUT I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THE SHOPPING, SO YOU’LL HAVE TO-- >> HI.

HOW WAS THE CONCERT?

>> LOVELY.

LOVELY, THANKS.

EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

>> AH, 6 OUNCES OF FORMULA, 1925.

NAPPY REPLACEMENT, 2005.

LIGHTS OUT, 2014.

ASLEEP APPROXIMATELY 2025.

IS THIS...OK?

>> SURE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, EXACTLY?

>> MAXIMIZING STORAGE.

IT DRIVES MY MUM MAD, BUT SHE’S A BIT OF A SCATTERBRAIN AT THE END OF THE DAY.

>> I’LL JUST POP UP, SEE HE’S ALL RIGHT.

>> YES.

YES.

HE’S TIDIED UP IN THERE, TOO.

>> YEAH, IT’S A BIT FINICKY, ISN’T IT?

>> IS IT?

>> WHAT’S ALL THAT WITH THE DISHES IN THE KITCHEN?

>> RATIONALIZING SPACE.

TIDY HOUSE, TIDY MIND.

>> BUT IT WAS TIDY.

>> YEAH.

>> MARTIN.

>> THANKS, MIKE.

HE’S WELL AWAY, AND EVERYTHING’S SO TIDY.

YOU REALLY SHOULDN’T HAVE.

>> IT’S NO PROBLEM.

>> HOW MUCH DO WE OWE YOU?

>> 14 POUNDS AND 30 PENCE.

>> OH, LET’S JUST CALL IT 15.

MIKE, THANKS VERY MUCH.

YOU’VE BEEN BRILLIANT.

>> I’VE GOT THE CHANGE IF YOU WANT IT.

>> NO, DON’T BE SILLY, AND THANKS FOR HELPING OUT.

>> YES.

WE’RE ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR SOMEONE IN THE DAYS-- >> NO, I GOT THAT SORTED, ACTUALLY, MARTIN.

>> WHAT?

>> SO, MIKE, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

GOOD NIGHT.

>> OH, I CHANGED YOUR CIRCUIT BREAKER THE OTHER NIGHT WITH YOUR AUNTIE.

IT’S A COMMON TRIP.

YOU REALLY NEED A MEDIUM VOLTAGE.

SO I’LL BRING ONE ROUND WHEN I’VE GOT A MO.

>> IS WHAT WE HAVE SAFE?

>> I WOULDN’T HAVE USED IT OTHERWISE, MR. ELLINGHAM.

GOOD NIGHT.

>> IT’S DOCTOR, THANK YOU.

AHEM.

SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

>> DON’T KNOW, MARTIN.

SURE YOU’LL THINK OF SOMETHING.

I CAN’T FIND IT ANYWHERE.

IT’S JUST TWO SHEETS OF PAPER WITH THE SCHOOL LOGO ON THE TOP AND A SIGNATURE ON THE BOTTOM.

I KNOW I LEFT IT ON THE TABLE.

ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVEN’T PUT IT SOMEWHERE?

>> WHERE DID YOU HAVE IT LAST?

>> LIKE I JUST SAID, ON THE TABLE BEFORE WE WENT TO THE CONCERT.

I BET MIKE’S PUT IT SOMEWHERE.

>> IT’S NOT THAT.

THAT’S MY PCT REPORT.

>> I REALLY OUGHT TO HAVE MY OWN OFFICE SPACE.

>> MAYBE YOU COULD GET MORE WORK DONE WHEN YOU’RE AT THE SCHOOL.

>> MARTIN!

IT’S SILLY DADDY!

>> ALL RIGHT?

>> JUST BILLS, I’M AFRAID.

YOU’RE WANTING A LODGER, ARE YOU?

>> YEAH.

>> IF YOU CAN HANG ON, MY BOY WILL BE BACK NEXT WEEK.

IT WOULD SUIT HIM DOWN TO THE GROUND.

>> HAS HE DONE HIS PRISON TERM, THEN?

>> 50%.

HE’LL STILL HAVE TO BE TAGGED, BUT IT’S A NICE, BIG HOUSE.

HE’D APPRECIATE THE SPACE.

>> I DON’T THINK THAT’S GONNA WORK, GEORGE.

>> NO, HE’S AS QUIET AS A LAMB ON HIS MEDICATION.

>> IT’S TEMPTING, BUT NO!

>> HOW LONG THIS TIME?

>> UH, IT STARTED WEDNESDAY, WEDNESDAY EVENING.

>> IS IT WORSE OR BETTER THAN THE LAST TIME?

>> IT’S DIFFICULT TO SAY.

>> WHAT?

>> IT’S DIFFICULT TO SAY.

A BIT WORSE, MAYBE.

COULDN’T YOUR MISSUS HAVE TAKEN HIM TO SCHOOL?

THERE’S PLENTY OF PEOPLE TO HELP OUT THERE.

>> WHAT?

>> TINY HELPER ON THE PHONE.

>> WHAT?

>> THE CHILD MINDER PEOPLE.

TINY HELP.

>> CAN THEY SEND SOMEONE?

>> WHAT, LIKE A BABYSITTER?

>> YES.

>> THEY ARE OUT OF BABYSITTERS AT THE PRESENT TIME UNTIL FRIDAY.

>> FRIDAY?

>> HELLO?

>> SHH!

>> [CRYING] >> SORRY.

I WAS WONDERING IF IT’S OK TO TURN THE POWER OFF FOR 30 SECONDS WHILE I FIT THIS SAFETY TRIP.

HERE.

GIVE HIM TO ME.

>> YES.

AHEM.

>> HI, CHIEF.

>> TAKE THE CAT.

THANK YOU.

NOW, RIGHT.

NOW, PLEASE.

I HAVE A PATIENT.

>> COME ON, THEN.

>> AL WAS RIGHT.

YOU’RE AMAZING WITH HIM.

>> MR. TINNER, I BEG YOUR PARDON.

TAKE YOUR HANDS AWAY.

>> KEEP THEM STORAGED THAT LONG, DO YOU?

>> YES.

IT’S A COMMON MISCONCEPTION THAT ONLY THE TIPS HAVE MERIT.

LIKE EATING THE ICING AND THROWING THE CAKE AWAY.

>> I CAN’T FIND ANYTHING SINCE MIKE CHANGED EVERYTHING AROUND.

>> IT’S ACTUALLY QUITE A GOOD SYSTEM.

THAT’S CERAMICS AND BAKEWARE THERE.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

>> WINE GLASSES.

>> AH, YOU WANT THE LEFT-HAND CUPBOARD OF THE DRESSER.

I’VE, UM, PERSUADED HIM TO COME TOMORROW.

>> WHO?

>> MICHAEL.

>> TOMORROW?

YOU DIDN’T THINK TO DISCUSS IT WITH ME FIRST?

>> DISCUSS WHAT?

>> THE PERSON WHO’S GONNA BE LOOKING AFTER OUR BABY.

>> LOUISA, THIS IS A SOLUTION TO OUR PROBLEM.

>> NO, MARTIN, IT’S NOT.

WE DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM.

>> WELL, JAMES HENRY LIKES HIM.

>> HE’S A BABY!

>> WELL, LET’S TRY HIM UNTIL FRIDAY AND THEN MAKE A DECISION.

>> WHAT DECISION?

>> WHETHER TO EMPLOY HIM ON A PERMANENT BASIS.

>> OH, PERMANENT?

[DOORBELL RINGS] WE’LL BE COMING BACK TO THIS, MARTIN.

OHH.

>> GOOD EVENING.

>> HIYA.

>> EVENING.

>> DENNIS.

HI, KAREN.

THIS IS MY HUSBAND, MARTIN.

>> HEY.

>> HOW DO YOU DO?

>> DOCTOR.

GOT A RED AND A WHITE, JUST IN CASE.

>> HA HA HA!

>> HAVE YOU BEEN TO A PARTY?

>> NO.

WHY?

>> I JUST WONDERED.

>> THIS HASN’T CHANGED SINCE JIM SIMMS’ TIME, HAS IT?

>> NO.

NO, NOT REALLY.

UH, APART FROM THE FURNITURE, WHICH IS MINE.

>> AH.

>> CAN I--CAN I GIVE YOU A HAND?

WHAT ARE WE HAVING?

>> I THINK I KNOCKED THESE TWO ROOMS INTO ONE MYSELF.

OH, IT MUST BE 20 YEARS AGO NOW, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

WORKING FOR OLD DANNY PARTON.

I HAVE MY OWN COMPANY NOW, OF COURSE.

>> WELL DONE.

I’LL PUT THAT IN THE REFRIGERATOR.

>> OH.

>> MARTIN, ARE YOU DOING THE DRINKS?

>> AH, YES.

WE HAVE A SHERRY OR MAYBE SOMETHING SOFT.

>> I’D LOVE A GLASS OF WINE, IF I MAY.

>> THEY’VE BEEN DRINKING ALREADY.

DID YOU SMELL HER?

>> HOW ABOUT YOU, DENNIS?

>> OH.

NEVER SAY NO TO A DROP OF RED.

>> OH, GOD.

>> MARTIN.

>> WHERE’S THE LITTLE CHAP, THEN?

HAS HE GONE BEDDY-BYES?

>> YEAH.

SORRY, YOU JUST MISSED HIM.

>> AWW, I LOVE BABIES.

>> YOU’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT?

>> OH, WE’D LOVE KIDS, WOULDN’T WE, DEN?

>> MY 3 BY MY FIRST MARRIAGE, THEY ALL FLEW THE NEST LONG AGO.

I CAN’T WAIT TO HAVE ANOTHER CRACK AT IT.

BE A SHAME TO WASTE ALL THIS YOUTHFUL VITALITY, WOULDN’T IT?

>> HA HA HA!

>> SORRY.

SORRY, MARTIN DOESN’T DRINK.

>> THANKS.

>> DENNIS, WOULD YOU LIKE SOME RED?

>> YOU BET.

AHH.

>> ACTUALLY, I THINK I’LL JOIN YOU.

>> CIN CIN.

>> NA ZDRAVJE.

HAVE YOU GOT ANY SALT?

>> IT’S BEEN SEASONED.

>> IT’S FINE.

I’LL JUST GET SOME.

TELL YOU, THEY’RE GONNA LOVE PLAYING ON THAT GYM EQUIPMENT, DENNIS.

>> WELL, IF WE HADN’T WANTED A HEAD TEACHER WITH PASSIONATE VIEWS, WE SHOULDN’T HAVE CHOSEN YOU, SHOULD WE?

>> NO.

>> [CHUCKLES] >> HAVE YOU SEEN A MAJOR SPORTING EVENT RECENTLY?

>> HAVE I WHAT?

>> HAVE YOU, UM, WATCHED A FOOTBALL MATCH OR A HORSE RACE?

>> THERE WAS A CHAMPIONS LEAGUE, I SUPPOSE.

THAT WAS RUBBISH, WASN’T IT?

>> I LOVE FOOTBALL.

>> YOU NEVER DRINK, MARTIN?

>> NO, I DON’T.

>> IS THAT BECAUSE YOU DON’T LIKE THE STUFF, OR IS IT ON PRINCIPLE?

>> [CRYING] >> UH-OH.

OHH.

HE SOUNDS LONELY.

>> HE’LL SETTLE IN A MOMENT OR TWO.

>> DISCIPLINE, EH, DOCTOR?

>> YOU CAN’T DISCIPLINE A BABY.

THEY’RE SO LITTLE.

>> YES, YOU CAN.

>> DO YOU FIND IT A PROBLEM HAVING A GOOD TIME?

LETTING YOUR GUARD DOWN, HAVING A BIT OF FUN, MARTIN?

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE, YOU KNOW.

>> WHY WOULD IT BE FUN TO PICKLE THE NEURAL PATHWAYS OF MY BRAIN WITH ALCOHOL?

EVERYBODY KNOWS THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH GUIDELINES, MORE OR LESS.

WHAT YOU MAY NOT KNOW IS THAT EXCESSIVE USE OF ALCOHOL HAS A DEVASTATING EFFECT ON FERTILITY, NOT TO MENTION SPONTANEOUS ABORTION.

SO IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A BABY-- >> IT’S DIFFICULT BEING A HEALTH PROFESSIONAL, YOU SEE, BECAUSE YOU’RE NEVER OFF DUTY.

MARTIN, WILL YOU GO AND CHECK ON JAMES HENRY, PLEASE?

>> YES.

>> EXCUSE ME.

>> SHH.

>> [CRYING] >> HE’S DRY.

>> YOU CANNOT INVITE PEOPLE INTO YOUR HOME AND THEN TREAT THEM LIKE THAT.

>> I’M MERELY POINTING OUT A FEW BASIC MEDICAL TRUTHS.

>> NO, YOU WEREN’T.

YOU WERE BEING DELIBERATELY RUDE.

>> HE WAS RUDE FIRST.

>> OH, DON’T BE SO CHILDISH.

OF COURSE HE’S RUDE.

HE’S A MORON.

BUT YOU KNEW THAT BEFORE YOU INVITED HIM TO SUPPER.

HE’S ALSO CHAIRMAN OF THE SCHOOL GOVERNORS, SO GRIN AND BEAR IT.

>> WHEN ARE THEY LEAVING?

>> WELL, I DON’T KNOW, DO I?

BUT SEEING AS THEY’RE HERE, IT’S UP TO US TO BE NICE, OK?

>> WHY DO THEY HAVE TO DRINK SO MUCH?

IT’S DISGUSTING.

>> BECAUSE THEY’RE DRUNKS, MARTIN.

THEY CAN’T HELP IT.

HE NEVER USED TO BE, BUT HE WANTS TO KEEP UP WITH HER.

EVERYBODY KNOWS IT, BUT WE DON’T JUDGE.

NOBODY’S BUSINESS BUT THEIR OWN.

>> I’M SORRY, LOUISA, BUT I’M A DOCTOR.

IF I SEE-- >> NO, MARTIN, YOU’RE A HOST, AND THEY’RE YOUR GUESTS.

SO LET’S GO DOWN THERE, APOLOGIZE, AND TRY TO ENJOY WHAT’S LEFT OF THE EVENING.

ALL RIGHT?

>> HMM.

[MUSIC PLAYING] >> YOU JUST WANTED TO SAY HELLO.

LOOK WHO’S HERE.

HE’S JOINED THE PARTY.

KAREN, DENNIS, THIS IS JAMES.

JAMES, THIS IS KAREN AND DENNIS.

OH, DEAR.

>> GET YOUR STUFF, KAREN.

>> WHY DON’T WE ALL JUST HAVE SOME COFFEE AND CALM DOWN?

I’M SURE WE CAN WORK THIS OUT.

>> DOES THAT HAPPEN MUCH WITH YOUR ARM?

>> NO.

COME ON, KAREN.

>> HOW OFTEN?

>> IT’S HIS ARTHRITIS.

>> DENNIS, I’M SO SORRY.

>> SAVE IT, LOUISA.

WE’VE NEVER REALLY SEEN EYE TO EYE.

NOW IT’S IN THE OPEN.

COME ON, KAREN.

THE MORON’S TAKING YOU HOME.

>> NIGHT.

[SIGH] WELL, THAT WENT WELL.

>> WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?

>> OHH.

>> IT’S NOT MY FAULT THEY’RE GHASTLY.

>> THEN WHY DID YOU ASK THEM FOR DINNER?

>> FOR YOU.

>> OHH, MARTIN.

>> LOUISA.

LOUISA.

[GULLS SQUAWKING] >> [GRUNTS] MORNING.

SORRY.

>> OH, HE’D SLEEP ALL DAY IF YOU’D LET HIM, THAT ONE.

>> AS LONG AS YOU WEREN’T NEXT TO ME SNORING.

>> HA HA HA!

>> YOU, UH--YOU HOME TODAY, THEN?

>> BUT BACK NEXT SUMMER, RIGHT?

OH, AND THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT THEY TALKED TO A FAMILY THEY MET IN [INDISTINCT]--MOVING IN THIS AFTERNOON.

HA HA HA!

FOR A FORTNIGHT.

IT’S HANDSOME.

>> MORNING, MR. DODDS.

LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND.

LOVELY VEHICLE.

TOP OF THE RANGE, NOT CHEAP, BUT WORTH EVERY PENNY, I SHOULD SAY.

A VERY WISE CHOICE.

ALLOW ME.

>> THANKS.

>> MY PRIVILEGE.

JUST GLAD TO HELP A PILLAR OF OUR COMMUNITY, MR. DODDS.

YOU ALL RIGHT, DENNIS?

>> WHAT?

>> NO OFFENSE.

I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU WERE A TEENY BIT... >> WHAT?

>> WELL, JUST A TEENY BIT TIPSY.

>> YOU WERE?

>> NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

SHOWS A SENSE OF FUN.

>> IT’S HALF PAST 8:00 IN THE MORNING.

>> UNUSUAL, YES, BUT IS IT POSSIBLE THAT DESPITE YOUR BEST ENDEAVORS, A LITTLE BIT OF ALCOHOL GOT LEFT IN YOUR BLOOD LAST NIGHT?

BY MISTAKE, OF COURSE.

PERHAPS BETTER TO WALK?

>> IDIOT.

>> I COULD FETCH YOUR GROCERIES IF YOU LIKE.

DON’T FORGET YOUR SEAT BELT.

>> OHH...

SORRY.

I’LL PAY FOR IT.

>> RIGHT.

BLOW IN THERE.

DEEP BREATH.

>> I MOST CERTAINLY WILL NOT.

YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE PARKED SO CLOSE.

>> RIGHT.

YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE.

DENNIS DODDS, I ARREST YOU FOR... >> GIVE IT HERE.

>> NEGATIVE.

>> OF COURSE IT IS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM?

I’M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS, JOE.

I’M NOT HAPPY AT ALL.

>> FANCY ANOTHER GO?

>> YOU AIN’T HEARD THE LAST OF THIS.

>> YOU ALL RIGHT, CLIFF?

>> I THINK I’LL JUST LOOK IN ON MY WAY TO SCHOOL AND SEE HIM.

>> WELL, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO.

>> OF COURSE I DON’T WANT TO, BUT THEY WERE OUR GUESTS, AND THEY HAD A HORRIBLE TIME HERE.

>> WE DIDN’T INSIST THAT THEY TURN UP INEBRIATED.

>> THAT’S WHAT SOME PEOPLE CALL MERRY, MARTIN.

YOU DIDN’T NEED TO MAKE SUCH A FUSS ABOUT IT.

>> YOU CALLED HIM A MORON AND BOTH OF THEM DRUNKS, I SEEM TO REMEMBER.

>> DOC, LOUISA.

>> OH, HI, JOE.

IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

>> WHAT DO YOU WANT?

>> OFFICIAL POLICE BUSINESS.

>> MORNING.

>> MIKE.

>> HOW ARE YOU DOING?

>> CAN WE TALK SOMEWHERE IN PRIVATE?

>> YES.

GO THROUGH.

>> HOW DO YOU CHEAT A BREATHALYZER?

>> WHAT?

>> I’VE JUST COME FROM A DUI, AND THE PERP CHEATED THE TEST.

DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE.

DENNIS DODDS.

>> HOW DID YOU KNOW HE WAS DRUNK?

>> TRUST ME, DOC, HE WAS BLADDERED.

COULDN’T KEEP HIS BALANCE, PROBLEMS WITH HIS SPEECH.

THEN HE BLOWS INTO THE DEVICE.

ZERO.

>> WHAT ELSE?

>> WELL, HE’S CHAIRMAN OF THE PARISH COUNCIL.

HE CAN MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL JUST LIKE THAT.

>> I MEAN, WHAT ELSE DID HE DO?

ARE YOU CERTAIN HE WAS DRUNK?

>> HE’S KNOWN FOR IT, DOC.

ASK ANYONE.

>> ALL RIGHT?

>> YES.

[DOORBELL RINGS] >> WHAT?

>> OH, HELLO, KAREN.

SORRY.

I JUST WANTED TO SEE HOW YOU ARE TODAY.

>> YOU’LL HAVE TO SPEAK TO DENNIS.

HE’S OVER AT THE NEW HOUSE.

>> GREAT.

THANKS.

DENNIS?

DENNIS?

DENNIS, CAN I--CAN I HAVE A WORD?

I JUST WANTED TO TALK THROUGH LAST NIGHT AND-- >> IT WAS A VERY NECESSARY WAKE-UP CALL AS IT HAPPENS.

I’M GRATEFUL TO YOU.

>> OH.

>> I’VE BEEN TOO EASYGOING, LETTING YOU RUN RINGS AROUND THE GOVERNORS’ RECOMMENDATIONS WITH YOUR SNOOTY "I KNOW BEST" ATTITUDE.

YOU SEEM TO FORGET WHO GAVE YOU THE JOB IN THE FIRST PLACE, MRS. ELLINGHAM.

WELL, I HAVEN’T.

THAT PLAYGROUND RUBBISH AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN, FOR STARTERS.

>> DENNIS, LOOK.

IF YOU’VE GOT AN ISSUE WITH ME, I UNDERSTAND, BUT DON’T--EXCUSE ME!

DENNIS, I’M TRYING TO TALK TO YOU!

DENNIS!

LOOK.

IF YOU’RE CROSS WITH ME, THAT’S ONE THING, BUT PLEASE DON’T TAKE IT OUT ON THE KIDS.

DON’T USE IT HERE!

YOU KNOW, YOU’RE RUDE, YOU’RE ARROGANT, AND YOU’RE A DRUNK, AND YOU REALLY NEED TO TAKE A LONG, HARD LOOK AT YOURSELF AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

>> HA HA HA!

>> [GASP] >> OHH!

>> DENNIS!

DENNIS?

GOD!

MARTIN.

>> [GROANING] [CELL PHONE RINGING] >> LOUISA?

>> MARTIN, IT’S DENNIS DODDS.

HE’S HAD A BAD FALL.

>> WHERE ARE YOU?

>> UM, NUMBER 5 TREGALLIS WAY.

YOU KNOW WHERE THE NEW BUILDS ARE?

>> JUST KEEP STILL.

DOCTOR’S ON HIS WAY.

>> I THINK I JUST WINDED MYSELF.

>> KEEP STILL.

>> OHH... >> OH, GOD, YOU POOR THING.

>> WHAT’S HAPPENED?

>> I’M FINE, BUT HE JUST FELL FROM UP THERE, AND I THINK HE’S STILL A BIT DRUNK FROM LAST NIGHT.

>> NO, HE’S NOT.

HE JUST GETS TIRED, AND IT MAKES HIS SPEECH LAZY.

>> ANY LOSS OF SENSATION THAT YOU’RE AWARE OF?

>> NO, I JUST WINDED MYSELF.

>> HOW ABOUT YOUR SENSE OF SMELL?

>> OH, IT’S JUST THE SAME, I RECKON.

I HAVEN’T REALLY GOT ONE THESE DAYS.

>> HMM.

SINCE WHEN?

>> OH, ABOUT A YEAR, NOW YOU COME TO MENTION IT.

OH!

I FEEL THAT!

>> I THINK IT’S PARKINSON’S.

NORMALLY A PERSON WOULD STOP BLINKING AFTER A FEW TAPS, BUT NOT IF YOU’VE GOT PARKINSON’S DISEASE.

>> OW!

>> NO, THAT’S NOT ARTHRITIS.

I NEED TO DO PROPER TESTS, BUT THAT’S WHAT IT IS.

>> DENNIS, DARLING.

>> YOU MIGHT HAVE BOTH NOTICED SOMETHING WAS UP IF YOU WEREN’T DRUNK OR HUNG OVER ALL THE TIME.

>> I’M SORRY.

I’M REALLY, REALLY SORRY, DENNIS.

>> WELL, THERE’S A LOT CAN BE DONE NOWADAYS WITH THE RIGHT MEDICATION AND TREATMENT.

LET’S GET YOU TO THE SURGERY.

>> YOU ALL RIGHT TO WALK?

>>> JUST TAKE IT SLOWLY.

>> THAT LOOKS NASTY.

>> HURTS A BIT.

>> TRY NOT TO TOUCH IT.

THEIR HOME COULD BE DIRTY.

I’LL GET SOME ANTISEPTIC AND A DRESSING ON IT WHEN WE GET BACK.

HOW DID YOU DO IT?

>> I WALKED INTO A GLASS DOOR.

>> WHY?

>> WELL, I DIDN’T DO IT ON PURPOSE, MARTIN.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

[SIGH] >> MORNING.

>> AL.

>> DOOR WAS OPEN, AND NOBODY HERE, SO... >> DO YOU WANT AN APPOINTMENT, OR... >> UH...AHEM.

UH... MORWENNA, UM... CAN I LIVE WITH YOU?

WELL, NOT--NOT LIKE THAT, BUT AS A LODGER, BECAUSE I’VE BEEN SLEEPING WITH MY DAD.

IT’S, UH...YEAH.

PLEASE.

>> BUT IT IS A BIT PRICY, I’M AFRAID.

>> HOW MUCH?

>> UM, 50 A WEEK?

>> SIT DOWN THERE AND WAIT.

LOUISA, YOU COME THROUGH.

>> MARTIN, I--I THINK PERHAPS YOU OUGHT TO SEE DENNIS FIRST?

>> HE’S HAD IT FOR MONTHS.

5 MINUTES WON’T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.

>> I’LL BE QUICK.

>> SO, YEP, THAT’S GREAT.

AND THEN THERE’S THE DEPOSIT.

>> TAKE A SEAT ON THE END OF THE COUCH.

>> I FEEL A BIT OF A FRAUD HAVING YOU DO THIS WHILE DENNIS SITS OUT THERE WITH ALL HIS TROUBLE.

>> SHH, SHH, SHH.

>> WHAT?

WHAT IS IT?

>> HOW OFTEN DO YOU WASH YOUR HAIR?

>> ENOUGH.

WHY?

WHAT IS IT?

>> SEBORRHEA CAPITIS.

>> WHAT’S THAT?

>> DANDRUFF.

IT’S MORE COMMON IN WOMEN HALF YOUR AGE.

PERHAPS YOU’RE NOT RINSING PROPERLY.

>> I DO RINSE PROPERLY.

>> HMM.

I’LL GET SOME COTTON WOOL.